We Will Find A Way
by simple-score
Summary: The change from friendship to love seemed so natural, neither of them were really aware that it had happened. But they always knew love was going to be difficult. A story about dealing with love across the species line. Starts ME 2 - Some look back. Rated M for Lemmony goodness. Image from Bioware.
1. Chapter 1

**Shepard POV**

She was just so tired these days. Everything hurt. But she couldn't stop, couldn't rest because everyone needed her. In truth the whole galaxy needed her, not that they would admit that any time soon. But her crew needed her in a far more literal sense. They needed her to lead, to be fearless in the face of overwhelming odds. And she showed them what they needed to see. But in truth she as just so God-damned tired.

She wasn't sleeping well at all, the nightmares were getting worse and she was worried that it might start affecting her ability to shoot. She just wanted to stop for a minute, to not be Commander Shepard, defender at the Elysium Blitz and hero of the Citadel. She just wanted to be Elizabeth Shepard, very tired human in desperate need of shore leave.

She also needed someone to talk to but she really felt that the steps to main battery were becoming a little too familiar. She missed Liara, Tali and Ashley, missed their company and their girly chats. Ok so they hadn't really been girly chats like the teenage girls back on the ships had engaged in, those conversations had frightened her younger self greatly, but it was nice to talk about something other than guns and war. It was true that she was getting used to Miranda but she couldn't see less formal conversations happening any time soon. And she had only just got Jack used to the idea of not killing everyone on board the ship for any thing that came close to something like a friendship. As for the rest of the crew that she'd assembled so far well, their Krogan baby Grunt just wanted to smash things and Jacob, who she could relate to on a soldier level but no more. Dr Solus would be a useful member of the team but he needed to focus, plus she couldn't really keep up with his thought processes to really know what he was on about. So that just left Garrus. But she didn't really want Garrus to realise how must she was relying on him these days, not just as her second in command, but as someone she increasingly needed to be near.

She really needed something to punch, to vent out all these emotions that she really couldn't deal with or even fully understand. Well that wasn't the whole truth. She _could_ understand her fatigue and weariness, her fear about what was coming and even the whole coming to terms with having been mostly dead for two years. That one had taken her a little while but when she had realised that she was still exactly the same person inside, minus a few upgrades, she was able to be at peace with it. Mostly. But these feelings that she had started to develop for Garrus were worrying. She'd led a pretty unsettled life, jumping from one ship to another and her parents had trusted her enough to let her do what she wanted for the most part. From a young age she had shown great promise for following in her parents footsteps and she'd been pretty intelligent and got into very little trouble so they had given her a lot of free reign as a teenager. And the unsettled life had been carried over into the romantic areas of her life. She'd never really had a boyfriend, more a string of arrangements. And they had always been human. Shepard really had never been attracted to other species, even asari. Truth be told she'd never really been that attracted to the guys she'd had those arrangements with. It was more to satisfy her needs and to ease stress.

She really wasn't used to these sorts of feelings. She had loved her parents and her friends and she thought that nothing could get deeper than the bonds that she had developed with her crew when taking on Saren. But the feeling deep in her stomach told her that that assumption had been wrong. While she had always loved and respected Garrus as a fellow soldier this was become a lot more serious and she knew that was bad. Relations between crew members never went well, how many times had she seen that. That had been why she turned down Kaidan and Liara's requests on the last mission. Or that's what she kept telling herself. But somewhere deep inside her mind, a voice was disagreeing with her. Shit. Shepard closed her eyes and tried to think of where this all began.

**The Citadel, 2 years pervious**

'I need more time!'

'Your investigation is over Vakarian.'

The first Turian sighed as Executor Pallin walked away and stood dejected for a moment before noticing the three of them watching him. Shepard noticed the quick glance he gave Kaidan and Ashley before turning his eyes on her. He was wearing a visor over one eye which was streaming information to him, though he seemed to be ignoring it for the moment, giving her a full run down with his eyes. He walked over to them and gave her a quick nod.

'Commander Shepard, Im Garrus Vakarian, I was the officer in charge of the Saren investigation.'

She was surprised that he recognised her but quickly got down to business. Sadly he had no new information for her, but she was glad that she wasn't the only one to suspect Saren and liked that he vowed to keep looking. The meeting with the council went as expected, badly, though the news about Anderson had been interesting. She had always like Anderson, felt that she could trust him, but clearly there was a whole history there that he did not know about. Still, it said volumes about the guy that after being knocked out of the running for spectre himself, he felt no ill will towards Shepard or her current candidacy.

It was Ashley that suggested going looking for the Turian again, which surprised her. She had defiantly felt an anti-alien vibe coming off Williams but maybe she had been wrong about that. Her instincts were usually good though. Shepard filled it for later inspection and headed out with her two new squad mates to find this Harkin at Chora's Den. The two assassins had been interesting, Saren's work no doubt, but she was glad to see that Kaidan and Ashley were working well together. The guy Harkin was an absolute sleeze, and Shepard had wished for a long shower after meeting him, but at least he had known where the Turian, Garrus could be found.

As they headed to the med bay they heard a commotion. Rushing in, they saw two guys roughing up the clinic doctor, something which Shepard did not like to see. Garrus had a pretty good shot in fairness to him, though she hadn't liked the risk he had run with the doctor. After getting the information about the doctor Garrus had demanded that he come with her and as he was a good shot and believed her story she agreed.

**Present**

And well that had been it really. Their friendship had been secured pretty much form the start, though often she felt a bit like his mentor, teaching him her way of things. At the beginning he had believed being with a spectre meant no rules, no red tape, just action. She had shown him there were still rules and that they were there for a reason. Sure some were there for breaking but getting the job done no matter what the cost wasn't her way. He hadn't like it at first but finally he began to believe that her way could work. Except for driving the Mako, her way wasn't the right way with that, especially as he was the one who had to spend all of his time fixing it.

But even during that, she had found herself growing closer to him, rejecting other offers and justifying by whatever lame excuse she could make herself believe. He had been at her side during the final battle with Sovereign, no one else could have taken his place at her side.

'Are you just gonna stand there all night?' Gardner interrupted her thoughts. She hadn't really registered that she'd left her cabin.

'Um.. Yeah. Sorry, lost in thought.' Muttered Shepard.

'Third visit this week.' Gardner interjected.

Shepard winced.

'I wouldn't keep tabs Gardner.' She mumbled and opened the doors.


	2. Chapter 2

**Garrus POV**

He checked calibrations again and was annoyed to find that they were still off.

'EDI, will you check the algorithms. Something's still out and I'll be damned if I know what it is.'

'Yes Mr Vakarian, I should have them back for you in approximately 3.7 hours.'

'Thanks.'

He didn't really like the AI, but then again who did, but it was pretty useful. Much more than a VI, though he would have been a lot happier if it was. But then he'd be a lot happier if he hadn't been working for Cerberus as well. But it meant he got to work with Shepard and that made up for an awful lot of things. Plus the never ending cash supply that Ceberus offered helped too. And the ship that had such scarily up to date technology it was almost from the future didn't hurt. And of course the icing on the cake had been when he'd found out that they had a high tech scanner to scan from the Normandy and a shuttle instead of a Mako. Shepard's driving was horrendous and he'd also been the one to have to fix it. He chuckled at the memories of Shepard coming back from planet exploring, shame faced having broken something _again_.

He heard a slight chuckle from outside the doors and then picked up Gardner's voice.

'Are you just gonna stand there all night?'

'Um.. Yeah. Sorry, lost in thought.' That was Shepard's voice.

'Third visit this week.'

Gardener was right about that. Even on the last mission her visits had never been this frequent.

'I wouldn't keep tabs Gardner.' She sounded embarrassed and slightly like she too was aware of the increase in her visiting and it annoyed her. Garrus couldn't imagine why, clearly something human. He often put her little mood swings down to human things. It had struck him a little while ago that he noticed her moods and feelings a lot more than he noticed any other humans and could tell how she was doing even better than a lot of the humans on board the ship. He guessed it was just because he knew her so well, had served with her on such crucial missions and now was her second in command, although something nagged at him that this wasn't the full story. He couldn't put his talon on what the who story was mind, but there was something…. Missing when he thought about his commander.

The first thing he noticed when he looked her was how tired she looked. In her de brief meetings she always looked so strong, and he had always been struck by her strength and ferocity on the last Normandy. But now she looked so small, so fragile, so… so human. He had never really thought of her as human, just Shepard, the best officer he had ever served under. Maybe it was because of all she'd been through, though he was pretty sure that she was the same woman that she'd been before Cerberus had brought her back.

'Shepard, you need me for something?'

'You got a minute to talk?' God she sounded exhausted. his visor was telling him it was defiantly the time when humans should be sleeping. Turians needed somewhat less sleep than humans, though far more than Salarians who only needed minimal amounts.

'Sure, I'm just waiting for EDI to process some of my calculations. 'He fixed her with my firmest look. 'Shepard why aren't you asleep? You look dead on your feet.'

She gave me a wry smile. 'Thanks. Glad I look so good.'

Garrus felt his mandibles twitch in annoyance. She was in one of her strange moods again. They had defiantly become more frequent recently, though he noticed she never seemed to be in the same mood around any of the other crew in the same way he never saw her looking as tried when she talked to anyone else. Maybe she was letting her guard down with him, letting him see past her commanders exterior down to the person underneath. That thought made his stomach twist slightly but he didn't know why.

'You know I didn't mean that you don't look…' He floundered slightly, trying to finishes that sentence but he really didn't know how. Did he want to say she looked good? Did he think she looked good? He'd never really thought about the way she looked. Well had noticed that she walked differently to most humans, with a commanding air that expected to be obeyed but that was a well-developed military stance combined with a definite lack of experience in not being obeyed. But he'd also noticed that she carried it with a certain elegance that most humans just didn't manage. Her movements were always so purposeful and she seemed to flow rather than walk or run. And he had, on occasion (not that he would have ever admitted it to anyone) that he had occasionally admired the way he body curved, the way her lips and her hands moved, the softness of her skin and the shades of colour in her red hair. But that didn't really count, he was just admiring her strength and speed and agility. Right? His mind was reeling at the suddenness of these thoughts.

Shepard was staring at him, one eyebrow perfectly arched. She seemed to take in the nervous quivering of his mandibles, sight and shook her head. In the part of his brain that always watched Shepard tried to understand the emotions on her faced. Was she sad? Why would she feel sad? He tried desperately to surface from this tide of thoughts that was currently over whelming him, to get back on track. He searched around and saw Shepard try and stifle a yawn. Ah yes, tiredness. Putting his confused thoughts to one side he set his mind back to concern for his captain, which was mercifully easy to manage.

'But you haven't answered why you aren't asleep.'

'I'm not really sleeping well at the moment.' Her shoulders sagged, as though admitting even this was a sign of weakness.

'Have you talked to someone, Dr Chakwas or Dr Solus?' He was concerned, not sleeping was defiantly a problem, especially in the commanding officer.

'I've talked to Dr Chakwas, don't worry. We're working on it.' She looked done at her fingers for a minute and then seemed to decide something and added 'I've been having really bad dreams.'

Garrus knew that human sleep involved seeing mental images and strange stories, sort of like day dreaming but without any control. He also knew that sometimes they could have nightmares, really horrible images that often repeated over several nights. But that was about it. He was grateful that Turians didn't dream, or the horrors of Omega would have haunted him every night.

'You OK Garrus?' The Commander was looking worriedly at him. Clearly he wasn't the only one developing new skills at reading emotions.

'Yeah just… Omega.'

'You want to talk about it?' Her voice was so soft, so kind. But he had told her pretty much everything that had happened when she had rescued him from the merc attack. He just shook his head and she didn't press the matter. She left a little bit later, but he got the distinct feeling that she didn't want to leave. He knew how she felt, he felt so much better having her around.

When he had heard the news that she had died he had fallen apart. They all had. He remembered them all, having touched down on the first safe planet after the collector attack, the whole team had waited anxiously for news of her, Joker and the other ship members who had not yet arrived. When a shuttle landed they all felt such relief. But then it had opened to reveal a few of the engineers and Joker who was beside himself with grief. Garrus had taken one look at him and let out a howl of pain. Everyone instantly knew what was causing Joker so much anguish. They knew it meant that Shepard hadn't made it. Joker had blamed himself, as had Liara who had tried to go with her. But it wasn't their fault. Garrus' world had shut down and that moment. He had gone back to C-Sec, tried to rebuild, but the councils denial of the truths that he knew and the alliances over use of Shepard as a poster girl for humanity had been too much. He couldn't bear any of it and resigned a few months later. He had disappeared and then began his vigilante group on Omega.

He winced at the thought of those days but the memory of Shepard's return floated to the front of him mind.

**Omega, 2 months previous**

Garrus knew that he it was only a matter of time, he couldn't hold out for much longer. He'd had precious little sleep in that last 2 days, the hits were coming more and more regularly and the wound to his waist was really starting to restrict his movement. Still he would go out with a bang, taking as many of those damn mercs out with him. It annoyed him that he would never be able to make Sidonis pay but at least he would go out fighting. He settled down as best he could and tried to get a little rest. He had managed to hack into one of the channels that his enemies were using, but it was the one that the merc groups had put in to keep an eye on the freelancers bunks. He didn't get much Intel from them but at least he knew when they were going to make the next push. He was just drifting off when he heard something that nearly made his heart stop beating. He jumped up, ignoring the pain in his side and fiddled with his omni-tool to get a clearer sound.

'Yeah I heard that too, but if Shepard is alive where has she been all this time, that's my question?' A man's voice drawled, clearly bored.

'Well she's a spectre right?' This was the original speaker again. He sounded younger and much more excited. 'She's been on some super-secret mission or something.'

'Dream on kid.' A new voice. 'It's clearly someone pretending to be Shepard to get people to respect her. Now shut up and try and get some sleep.'

Garrus knew that the third person had been right. That tiny surge of hope had been extinguished. Though now he was annoyed that he could never beat the living shit out of whoever was going round pretending to be his dead commander.

The next day had been brutal, but once again he had cleared all the merc coming across the bridge. The pain was getting worse but they seemed to be getting less and less well trained now. Surely it couldn't be much longer until the gangs finally came for him. Unexpectedly, he heard the voice of the youth that had been so interested speaking again. That was odd, usually it was a new group each day and he'd been sure he had gotten everyone who'd crossed the bridge. Maybe the kid had gotten scared and doubled back? He sounded even more excited tonight. Garrus listened carefully and soon found out why.

'I saw her!' The younger merc stated. 'Has anyone one else seen her?'

Garrus' heart leapt at this, guessing who the boy meant. That little spark that he thought had died yesterday roared back into life. He couldn't believe that she was alive, though he had never seen her body. But if she had been alive surely she would have contacted someone? Surely she would have let him know.

'Who?' Someone grunted in the merc base.

'Shepard.' The youth moaned excitedly. Clearly there was some spectre worship going on there.

Most people either said no or seemed not to care. But one voice, someone who sounded older, said 'Yeah I saw her too. Thought I'd seen a ghost. Id served with her during the Blitz, hell of a fighter she was. I remember hearing that she'd died but obviously not. I saw her going into the slums, God knows why.'

Shepard was here? On Omega? No it couldn't be. He suddenly felt more alive than he had for weeks, if not for the last two years. No more was said about Shepard, though he did hear one of the guards come and say to the kid that he would be leading on the hit tomorrow as the blue suns did not appreciate their freelancers hiding behind the bins. Garrus was on fire. He had to survive, had to get a message to her somehow. He knew that no one could get him out of this, but he wanted to tell her that he had thought about her every day, that he had done all this for her.

He fought with renewed vigour the next day, though he had felt bad about taking out the younger boy, but what choice did he have? He listened intently that evening but was more concerned by the atmosphere in the camp. Something seemed to have happened, and whatever it was another push was being made that night.

Someone had come into the room.

'Apparently they had a big sign up today. People are thinking archangel much be getting exhausted so are liking their chances. Plus that new group that signed up seem hard as hell.'

Garrus made a mental note to keep an eye out for the new group.

'That girl is hot as fuck. Skin tight leather and boots. I'd do her in a heartbeat.' The voice continued.

'The guy looks like he's seen action.' Someone else added. 'But did you see the leader. I don't know why but I recognise her somehow. Wouldn't like to cross her though.'

'I agree, I'm sure I know her from somewhere.' Someone else agreed. 'But when she looked at me, I swear she could have broken all my bones and removed most of my organs before she'd even taken a breath.'

Garrus' heart sang. Only one woman had ever, ever had a look like that. She was coming for him. Well for archangel anyway. He was positive that she wouldn't be working for the merc groups to come and kill him. Well he hoped she wasn't. He didn't fancy his chances if she was. He had so many questions for her. He knew there would be a good reason for her absence, though it stung that she hadn't contacted him. But if she was here now, that made up for an awful lot.

It wasn't long before they charged, most no better than anyone else. But three people at the very rear of the group caught his eye. They moved differently, clearly were more experienced than any of the other freelancers by far. If he hadn't known them then he would have ignored the others and tried to take them out, though they were skilled enough that he was having trouble getting a shot. But then, for an instant, too short a time to shoot, but enough to recognise, he saw her. Shepard. If he was human he would have probably been in tears. He looked at the other two humans with her and noted the Cerberus symbol on the amour. Interesting. They weren't quite as skilled as Shepard, he would have been able to take them down fairly quickly. If there had been any doubts as to which side Shepard was on, they were instantly removed as she saw her aim a careful shot at the man in front. He was able to take down the rest easily and they quickly panicked when they realised that the very well trained group behind them were on archangels side.

Once they were dealt with he focused on them. They were still be slow though, clearly not sure if archangel would be shooting at them. Garrus realised that she probably didn't know who she was. He changed to concussive rounds and waited. He needed to move them along, needed to see her face properly. And he wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to get one up on her. But she was so damned quick. Finally she left her shoulder exposed and he took the shot. She didn't even react but it did seem to hurry them a little.

Garrus heard them coming up the back steps.

'Be cool.' He told himself. He waited until they were in the room.

'Archangel.' Yes it was her, her voice. His hands shook and that sound, couldn't quite believe how much he had missed it. But he forced himself to be slow as he turned around and took of his helmet. The look on her face as she recognised him, the sheer, unbridled joy was something he would treasure forever.

**Well those are the two starting chapters. Hope you like them. Please review, I always appreciate constructive criticism and any feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Garrus POV**

Garrus wasn't sure what the worst part of the day had been. It had started promisingly, The Illusive man contacting Shepard to say that he knew which planet was going to be hit next. They had speed off there straight away. He and Jack were going with the Commander on this mission. Shepard had told him privately that she wanted to test Jack's skills with someone she trusted watching her back. The first horror had been encountering the collectors but they hadn't been too hard to take out. With hindsight he should have realised that something was not right with his first assessment. Then there had been silence, the emptiness of the place, the pods and the frozen humans. It was disturbing, as had Jack's commentary about finding it peaceful. They had found a link between the collectors and the reaper technology in those strange husks and the mission had seemed to be progressing.

But then, one of the collectors and began to shudder and glow and a voice that had surrounded all of them had rung out 'assuming direct control.' The thing had been tough, and every time they beat one, it seemed to 'infect' another. But the worst part had been when it spoke to Shepard. It knew her, was targeting her, wanted _her. _When the thing had first spoken her name if had felt like ice was being injected into his veins. But finally they managed to bring the last of them down. Then there had been those… things. Like there we husks fused together. They were horrid to look at and to fight. And after those and a few more collectors and the controlling Harbinger, had come something else new that nearly blasted Shepard into pieces.

EDI managed to get the defence towers working and given the Collector ship a lesson. And it seemed like the worst was over. But then Ashley Williams had arrived. At first Garrus had been pleased to see her and Shepard had seemed really happy. But things soon turned bad, with Ashley basically saying that Shepard was a traitor to the Alliance. It had taken a lot of strength for Garrus not to yell at the human. How could anyone think Shepard a traitor? She had saved them all so many times, saved the citadel and instead of being allowed to rest in peace, she had been brought back to save humanity again.

He expected Shepard to come and talk to him afterwards but she hadn't. It had been several hours and she hadn't left her cabin, no debriefing, nothing. At first Garrus had wanted to wait, give her the time that she had given him after Omega, but the crew were getting restless and the very un-Commander like behaviour she was showing. It annoyed him that they gave her less than a day to recover, but who was he to judge? He climbed into the elevator and waited until he was outside her room. What did he do now? He didn't just want to walk in but he didn't really want to give her a chance to turn down his offer of a talk either.

'EDI, can you tell the Commander that I'm outside please?'

'Of course Mr Vakarian.'

Garrus waited for a minute.

'Commander Shepard reports that she does not wish to see anyone at the present moment Mr Vakarian, I suggest you reschedule.'

'EDI tell the Commander that I will be coming in in one minute.'

'Commander Shepard has just locked her doors. However I am aware that the crew is concerned about her resent absence and I feel it would be a more advisable choice if I unlock the door for you.'

'A wise choice EDI.' Maybe having an AI had its bonuses.

Garrus heard the click as the doors unlocked and entered Shepard's room. He had never been in here before, and was struck by the large fish tanks that filled one wall.

'What the hell EDI?' Growled Shepard.

'Don't take it out on the AI Commander, we are all worried about you.'

Garrus then took in Shepard's appearance. He had only ever seen his Commander in her amour, her 'relaxed' military outfit or the very similar Cerberus one. He had never seen her in her night clothes. She wore blue jogging style bottoms and a white tank top. Her hair was messy and she had a large tub of something that smelled fowl to Garrus in her lap. Her omni-tool was paused on a film, two people in mid dance. He noticed her eyes were red, something he had never seen before.

'Do you have an eye infection Commander?' Garrus was concerned, he didn't want her to be in pain. 'Because you really should get down to the med-bay.'

'What?' She was confused, which at least diverted her anger, 'no why?'

'Your eyes, they are all red and a little blood shot. I've never seen your eyes like that.'

'Oh no...I've just, um…' She seemed distressed then sighed deeply. 'Garrus my eyes are red because I've been crying. It's what they do after a long period of crying.'

Shit. Well that was a good start. He'd read that somewhere and everything.

'I'm sorry. I didn't realise.'

He'd never seen Shepard cry, not even after Kaidan's death. But then she probably did cry, just in private, like now. What had he read now, humans liked to be hugged when they were distressed. But Turians really didn't do touching unless it was hitting or a touch between lovers. He went and sat next to her feeling incredibly awkward. He really should have left her alone. He scanned the room, trying to think of something to say and his eyes fell on the flickering image coming from her omni-tool. He knew about human films but this one didn't seem right.

'What's wrong with your omni-tool?' He asked. 'It's not showing any colour?'

'There's nothing wrong with it.' She answered, seeming to be grateful for the topic change too, 'it was made in black and white. Early human films were made like that, they couldn't do colour at first. In the very beginning there wasn't any sound either, just pictures.'

'Why are you watching an old film?' Turians really didn't have anything like this to compare to.

'Because they don't make them like this anymore. Well humans haven't produced dancers like Ginger Rodgers and Fred Astaire since then either.'

She pressed a button and then dancers continued to move but she soon realised Garrus was less than interested.

'Turians don't dance.' He said flatly.

'Can't you at least appreciate the art form?' She teased.

Well he had managed a smile, that was something. And then suddenly something happened that terrified Garrus. Shepard burst into tears. Harsh sobs emitted from her throat and shook her tiny body. Spirits what was he supposed to do now. He had never seen a human cry up close like this. And Shepard seemed so small and in so much pain that he started to shake in agony at seeing her like this, so vulnerable.

Putting aside his squeamishness, slowly he he'd out his arms and wrapped them around her. She fell gratefully into him. She pressed her body to him, like she couldn't hold herself any long and wept against his chest. After a few minutes she calmed down and pulled away from him. For a moment he missed the feeling of her, pressed against his chest. He almost reached out for her again, wanting that connection again. He then realised what he was about to do and drew back. He shouldn't _want _ to hold her surly? He had because he'd needed to not because he wanted to. Right?

'Thanks Garrus. I don't know what I'd do without you. I really needed a friend.' She wiped her eyes. 'I'm just so tired, tired of fighting, tired of people not believing me, having to be everyone's support. I don't know if I can do it for much longer.'

'Of course you can and you will because your you. You don't know how to do anything else.' Garrus chuckled. 'And all of us here believe you. You're not alone in this. And for what it's worth, you have me. I'm here and you're not getting rid of me. I'll be you're support. Now and always.'

She seemed to want to say something but the tears came first. She put his arm back round her and nestled back into his chest.

'I needed that.' She managed to say.

And Garrus was happy. He had wanted her back in his arms but hadn't wanted to want it. But she had instigated it and who was he to argue with her. But he'd meant every word. He was there for her whenever she needed it. And he liked the fact that she needed him. Probably a little bit too much.

**Shepard's POV**

Shepard lay curled up against Garrus' armour and felt a little bit better. The day had been really rough, Ash turning her back on her like that. It had hurt like hell. Plus she'd been hit several times with several different types of weapon. After they docked with the Normandy she had left everyone, found a tub of ice-cream from her emergency supplies that she had given to Rupert and fled to her room. She had managed to sleep for a few hours, but was plagued by terrible dreams and Ash's horrified face, backing away from her. Then she'd had a shower, opened the ice-cream, which had melted to about the right consistency for her liking and settled down with her favourite film, Swingtime. Then Garrus had shown up and EDI had let him in but things got better after that. He had told her he was there for her, had held her as she cried and was even now letting her be close to him, even though she knew it made him uncomfortable. But right now she just needed to hold her for a little bit longer, so that her world didn't fall apart again.

She knew that he didn't have feeling for like she had for him. She had spent probably far too long researching Turian interactions and body language (well mandible language, they could so say much through a flick or movement and she had gone to great pains to understand this). She could almost have justified the amount of research she had done, as she tried to fully research fully about all the different species that she had in her crew but she knew that her Turian investigations had been way to thorough.

Still she was past pretending that she didn't have feelings for her second in command and while usually she tried to ensure that he was kept completely in the dark about her feelings, she needed him right now too much to care if he got a little uncomfortable. But thankfully he didn't seem to mind. She had, in reality, known about her feelings for Garrus on the old Normandy but she hadn't really admitted it to herself (or realise her strength of feeling for him)until she had seen him on Omega.

**Omega, 2 months previous**

They had successfully gotten over the bridge and were now walking up the steps to Archangel. Shepard had guessed that he realised they were on his side, possibly because they had helped take down the mercs, and as they had only been a hit a few times and nothing that had done any real damage. Still, none of them were taking any chances. The Illusive man had given them so little Intel about this person, it was surprising really that he seemed to know so little. Whether he actually knew more or really didn't know anything else didn't matter really, but Shepard didn't like being kept in the dark. They entered the room with their guns raised.

'Archangel?' The Turian wasn't looking at them, but was checking that there were no more mercs. Slowly he turned round. And then Shepard's world became infinitely brighter as he took off his helmet. She could feel the smile spreading across her face. She couldn't believe It was him. They had talked for a while, and then had fun watching the heavy mech take out the eclipse group. But it wasn't until Shepard saw Garrus floored that she suddenly realised the full extent of the feelings she had been ignoring for a long time.

'Garrus!' She yelled. Then the new group of blue suns swarmed in.

'Fuck this.' Thought Shepard and sprayed the nearest one with bullets.

When the gunship had exploded in a satisfying heap of dust and metal she ran over to see Garrus. Blue blood sprayed across the floor and his body but he seemed to still be alive… just. She and Jacob carried him as Miranda kept lookout. She was eternally grateful for their support and for the first time she didn't give a damn that they worked for Cerberus.

**Present**

The film finished and Shepard sighed happily.

'Feeling better?' Garrus asked.

'Much.' Shepard stretched. 'Did you enjoy it?'

'Umm yes, sure.'

'No need to be sarcastic.' Shepard punched him lightly in the arm.

'Who was being sarcastic?' She loved his voice when he drawled at her like that.

'Still not into dancing?' She asked.

'I just don't get it.' He admitted.

'Maybe if you didn't watch it with your visor on? You can't appreciate their movements when your measuring angles and speed.' She paused thoughtfully. 'You know, I've never seen you without that thing on.'

She reached up to try and take it off but he shrugged away from her.

'Sorry.' She managed to stutter.

'It's alright, I just… this visor is important to me.'

'Is it because of the names?' She asked.

'You noticed?'

Shepard blushed. Ok so not showing that she had become scarily aware of him was not going so well tonight.

'Uh yeah.'

'Huh.'

The pause was awkward.

'Listen Shepard It's late. I should.'

'Oh, yeah. Sure.'

_'Shit shit shit.' She thought_

He walked to the door but Shepard grabbed his arm before he could leave.

'I just wanted to say thanks. For tonight.'

'You're welcome Shepard.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Garrus POV**

Shepard and Garrus had been sitting in the mess hall when Miranda had sashayed over to them. That was the right word to describe it, he was sure. The way she moved her hips from side to side as she walked, resting one had on one as she stood screamed _look__ at __me_ to all the human males on board the ship. And it seemed to work, so many pairs of eyes followed Miranda across the hall. Garrus was glad that Shepard didn't parade herself like that. He wondered for a minute what it would be like if she did.

'I have the new dossiers from the Illusive Man for you Shepard.'

'Thanks Miranda.'

'Umm Shepard, could I see you in my office when you've looked over these?' Miranda looked slightly uncomfortable. At least he thought she did. He was a lot better at reading 'human' now, but he knew that human had many different body movements for the same emotions and he'd only really perfected reading Shepard.

'Sure Miranda, I'll be there in a few minutes.'

'Thanks.'

'It's nice to see you and Miranda getting along better.' Garrus ventured.

'She ok, underneath the hard arsedness and the Cerberus loving. She's had a hard life in some ways.'

'_She __always __sees __the __best __in__ people, __it__'__s __incredible_.' Was what Garrus thought, but what he said was, 'hard arseness? Is that even a word?'

'Yes.' She glared at him defiantly before bursting into laughter. He loved the way she stuck her chin out when she was trying to be defiant but only joking. When she was actually being defiant she was shit scary, not that he would ever tell her that.

'Now let's see what the Illusive man has for me. Maybe it will be better than the last lot.' She said; picking up the bits of paper Miranda had handed her. She hated reading off her omni-tool if she didn't have too.

'What's wrong with the people we have?' Garrus thought she had been pleased with the people they had 'recruited'. Maybe his gauge of her reactions was wrong. He didn't like that.

'Most of them are fine.' She replied, not looking up, 'but well there was you as well.'

She grinned at him.

'Ouch Shepard. You know how to make a guy feel wanted.'

'You bet your ass I do.' She raised an eyebrow and then hastily returned to the files. Her mood had improved since they recruited Zaeed and Kasumi, though he was pretty sure that that had been caused by the latter of the two. She seemed to enjoy having another female around to just chat too. Plus she had really liked the dress that Kasumi had given her for their little outing. He hadn't seen her much, possibly because she enjoyed watching the memories of her dead mate, which he couldn't blame her for. But he had a sneaking suspicion that she was around a lot more than anyone realised. But he liked her and she seemed to like him. She was popping up to his door more often these days for chats, usually about 'Shep'. He didn't trust Zaeed even a little but the guy spent most of his time alone.

One surprising revelation had been the friendship that had sprung up between Jack and Grunt. Shepard had suggested that Jack get out a little more, talk to people. Apparently she hadn't taken the suggestion well, or so Shepard had thought. But a few days later she walked into the Cargo hold to check up on Grunt and had found him and Jack deep in conversation. Apparently it was a bond of enjoying killing things. Well if it worked for them.

'So who do we have here?' Shepard muttered. 'An assassin named Thane, a Justicar named Samara, wait what's a Justicar?' She asked, looking up at him.

'Something to do with the law, but a very strict kind of law I think?' Answered Garrus.

'Fun.' Said Shepard, turning to the last page. She then let a high pitch noise that made Garrus jump and reach for his gun.

'What?' He hissed, wondering what she had heard.

'What the hell are you doing?' She asked, looking appalled.

'Well, the noise, you…' He was floundering in confusion and the look wasn't helping.

'I would have thought even you could recognise excited from fear.'

'Oh.' Garrus felt embarrassed. 'Hey what do you mean, even me?'

'Turians are not known for their knowledge of human emotions.' She answered.

Garrus felt even more embarrassed. While that was very true for most humans, he now considered himself a special case on that subject.

'Yes because humans are well known for their detailed study of Turian emotions.' He said, a little defensively.

She smiled wryly. 'Touché.'

'What?' Garrus was back to confused.

'Sorry, human.' She laughed, and the air became a little less tense. 'It means a fair argument.'

'What caused the uh noise then?'

'It's called a squeal. By the way never tell anyone that I squeal.' She glared at him. 'It's this last dossier. It's for Tali.' She smiled happily.

'Tali?' Garrus said. 'I'd love to see her again. But wasn't she on a big mission last time you saw her?'

'Oh Yeah.' She looked so down cast that Garrus hastily added,

'But you helped her with that. Anyway, even if it's just a social call, it would be great to see her.'

'Very true. I miss the old crew. I'm really starting to get to like this one but it's not got the same family sort of feel. Speaking of crew, I need to go and see what Miranda wanted.'

'No rest for the wicked.' Garrus added playfully.

'With what I have to put up with from you I must be a perfect saint. How do you know that saying?'

'I read.'

'Since when?' She feigned shock. She sighed then and turned away. 'Duty calls. See you around Garrus.'

Later that evening Garrus felt restless. He sometimes wished that he was back on a Turian ship and not just because it was slightly more adapted to his biology than human vessels. He wanted to let off some steam, one way or another. There was a small work out area but that was a very human work out area. He checked the gun again but it couldn't take his mind off his frustrations. There was nothing left to do but go to bed and work out his frustrations as best he could on his own. He'd always felt that it was a strange reaction to tension, wanting to punch someone or screw someone. But apparently it wasn't just a strictly Turian thing. He idly wondering if any of the crew were working off stress that way?

He lay down on his bed and relaxed. He tried to picture something that would help get him in the right frame of mind but the idea of the humans getting stress relief kept popping into his mind. He tried to picture Cartia, a particularly attractive Turian that he had once eased tension with but he couldn't seem to focus on her. He was going to give up the evening as a lost cause when Shepard drifted across his thoughts. She was wearing that dress that Kasumi had given her and she was strutting towards him in the way that Miranda did. It didn't have the same effect that it did on Miranda though, she made it seem so much more _dangerous_.

Garrus imagined what it would feel like to run his talons through her hair and across the leather of the dress. He pictured her hand moving roughly across his body, running her fingernails ineffectually across his plates. He could almost feel her soft cool skin pressing against him. He imagined her running her hands down his body, taking him into her hands, using those skilled fingers…

'Oh Spirits.' He moaned.

Now she was leaning over, his hand resting on her back, holding her as he thrust into her, hearing her moan, calling out his name again and again. He felt the knot in stomach relax as he found his release. He lay there for a moment, enjoying the feeling before realisation hit him over the head with a wallop. He had just got himself off while thinking of his Commander. His _human_ Commander. That wasn't good. He sat up and realised he had been somewhat more forceful than usual; messing up his bed sheets in the processes.

'Shit.' He muttered standing up and began to pull of his sheets.

'Mr Vakarian,'

Garrus jumped and looked around for an instant, before realising it was EDI.

'Err, yes EDI?' Garrus ventured, really hoping that he wasn't needed for something very important at that moment.

'I am required to inform you that removing your bed linen is the function performed by Mr Sanders.'

That was one of the perks of being on a Cerberus ship, they seemed to look after everything. He really hadn't liked it at first. Most of them didn't seem to mind but he had defiantly seen Shepard and Jacob wincing the first few times their dirty washing was collected. It must be a military thing. Mordin hadn't seemed to mind that much, though he had heard rumours that the Special Tasks Group had a lot more privileges than most other military operations.

'No EDI, don't tell Sanders that I need my bed changing, please?'

'I alerted him as soon as I recorded that your bedding had been soiled.'

'EDI do you have to put it like that. Listen, tell him it was a mistake, I will sort this out myself.' Garrus moaned desperately.

'I do not make mistakes Mr Vakarian.'

'Will you do this for me?' Garrus Pleaded.

EDI paused for a moment, considering.

'I have done as requested Mr Vakarian. May I ask you why you do not wish Mr Sanders to perform his assigned functions?'

'Wait is this for some kind of official report.' He did not want this going back to Cerberus. Though they probably had enough bugs on board this ship to know everything, which was a thought that did not comfort him.

'No Mr Vakarian, it is for my own personal data banks. I do not understand why you are showing the signs that I have recorded as fear and or embarrassment in the situation. The act you have just performed is natural and common among many species when faced with heightened stress. I do not understand why it would concern you for another to find out about this.'

'I don't think this is something I can explain EDI. Apparently concern at others finding out is also a natural reaction across many species.'

'I see. Thank you for the information Mr Vakarian.'

'_Great_,' he thought, '_now__ I__'__m_ _helping__ an __AI__ with __personal __growth.__ That__ surly __must__ be __against __the__ rules__ somehow._'

'I would also like to inform you that Commander Shepard is on her way to the main battery. Considering what we have just discussed would you like me to stall her for a few minutes.'

'Yes EDI. Thank you.' Garrus said gratefully.

'_And __everyone__ thinks__ that __EDI__ and __Joker__'__s __relationship __is__ getting __a __little __weird._' Garrus thought as he hurried to get dressed, leaving the sheets in a heap of guilt.

By the time Shepard got past EDI Garrus was standing at the gun, pretending to do some tinkering.

'Hey Garrus, you got a minute?' Shepard asked.

'Uh can it wait commander, I'm in the middle of some calibrations.' He hadn't been able to turn around and face her, but did turn his head in an effort of seeming normal. It didn't seem to work.

'Sure Garrus, I was just going to say that we will be heading out to Haestrom in the morning.' She tried to sound confident but he could hear the hint of confusion in her voice at his very clear _I__ don__'__t __want __to __talk__ now_ signals. But he couldn't turn around to face her and she vanished.

'_Coward_.' Garrus thought to himself as he went back to deal with sheets.

**Shepard POV**

Somehow they had managed to bring down that bloody colossus and get to the observatory. Grunt had seemed to enjoy the fight, declaring that we had good enemies, though he was becoming more and more restless every day. Shepard oddly enjoyed spending time with Grunt, she found him fairly soothing simply because he was completely uncomplicated. He liked to kill things and that was about as deep as Grunt went, which was a nice relief sometimes. Garrus had taken a bit on a hit to his side, though he was insisting that he was fine, so clearly that was something she would have to deal with later. He'd been acting pretty strangely around her all day and it was really starting to piss her off. She'd felt that they had been growing closer over the past months but now he wouldn't even look at her. Again, something she would have to deal with later.

But it was so good to see Tali again and to get her to agree to join them on the mission. To make sure Garrus went to the med bad, Shepard playfully punched the Turian exactly where the wound had been inflicted. He had hobbled off to the medical bad, escorted by Grunt, who was almost willing the Turian to disobey Shepard's orders. She and Tali went down to the briefing room to meet Jacob but Tali seemed less than impressed with his flattery or the AI he just had to introduce her too when his flattery failed.

Tali had established herself down in engineering and seemed to be taking being on a Cerberus ship pretty well. But then everyone who she spoke too who wasn't Cerberus always said they were fine with Cerberus on the grounds that they were working for Shepard and Cerberus could just foot the bills. She was glad that they took this attitude, it made her feel a little better about having to work with Cerberus.

The next stop on the grand tour was Illium, the Asari garden world to find Thane and Samara as well as help Miranda out with her sister's transport. She was looking forward to visiting a world that was more civilised than a lot of the worlds they visited, especially as it had a small but strong human community there where she could restock her emergency ice-cream supply. She was just finishing off her last report when the EDI announced that Tali was on her way to see her.

'Hello Shepard, oh I hope I'm not interrupting anything.' Tali indicated the pile of papers in front of the Commander.

'Not at all, I was just finishing my report that's all.'

'I thought that was one of Miranda's duties?' The Quarian asked.

'Actually these are my reports for Anderson.' Shepard blushed slightly, she knew it was silly. 'I want to be able to give these to him when we have finished working with Cerberus, to show him what we did and why.'

'You want to make sure the Alliance wont judge you for working with these bosh'tets.'

'Pretty much.' Shepard sighed. She hated having to work with Cerberus, but equally hated the way the council refused to back her and believe her.

'It must be hard for you Shepard.' Tali said lightly.

'I'm just glad you're here.' Shepard told her. 'I need people I can trust.'

'Like Garrus.' Tali's voice changed slightly, like that question was weighted with deeper meaning. Shepard couldn't tell where Tali was going with this without having any facial expressions to go on but he head was tilted to one side inquisitively.

'Do you have something to say about Garrus, Tali?'

'Not really. Just that I'm annoyed that the two of you haven't managed to progress your relationship any further. Though you at least seem to have realised you feelings for him.'

Shepard sat, looking shocked.

'When did you become so insightful?' Shepard asked. Denial clearly wasn't going to work.

'Oh please, you think we didn't notice? On the last Normandy we had bets going as to when you two would get together. Sadly we all lost, no one figured that you two would manage to ignore your feelings for the whole of the mission. And then…' Tali paused, looking down cast.

'Yeah, I'm still trying to work out the whole being dead thing. But really? All the crew?'

'Well me, Liara, Wrex, Ash and Kaidan anyways. After you turned down both Kaidan and Liara we all figured something was up. And you spending all your free time with Garrus was a big clue too. Plus have you seen the way Garrus looks at you?'

'He doesn't think of me like that Tali.' Shepard said sadly. 'This is definably a one way thing.'

'Yeah right.' Tali laughed and shook her head at Shepard. 'Sooner or later the two of you will have to realise you were made for each other.'

'If we had been made for each other Tali, then we would have managed to at least be the same species.'

'The Asari manage it all the time.'

'Can we not talk about this?' Shepard asked, really hoping that none of the new crew had seen how she felt about Garrus. Well except Kasumi. And possibly Kelly Chambers. Damn, maybe she wasn't so good at hiding her feelings.

'Of course. I've spoken with Garrus, though not about that don't worry!' She added hastily, seeing the look of panic on Shepard's face, 'though you should let me. Who knew such amazing soldiers could be so useless at something like this. No I talked to him about the mission so far, and a little about his time on Omega. He filled me in on what happened with Cerberus, how they brought you back so you don't have to go over any of that. Will you do me a favour though Shepard? I've always wanted to go to Illium, will you take me?'

'Sure thing Tali.'

'I'll let you go and hide in shame now Commander.' Tali said, getting up.

'Appreciated.' Replied Shepard.

When Tali left she grabbed the nearest pillow and buried her face into it for several minutes. No wonder she had never let herself get close to anyone before. The whole situation was just too mortifying.

**Hope**** you**** liked,**** any**** review ****based ****love**** would ****be**** welcome**!


	5. Chapter 5

**Garrus POV**

Shepard had forced Garrus to visit the medical bay as soon as they had returned from rescuing Tali.

'It hit your old wound Garrus, splitting the previous surgery that I performed on you. I've managed to get it all back together but you need a few days rest so that it fully recovers.'

'Are you sure? We are supposed to be heading out to Illium tomorrow…' Garrus began, but Dr Chakwas quickly cut him off.

'No ifs or buts Garrus. You need to rest and recover. Otherwise you'll burst those stitches open. Again. You can move around the ship from tomorrow but absolutely no leaving. Understand?'

Garrus nodded in defeat. The human woman had the same glare that Shepard got when she was not going to tolerate anyone pissing her about.

'Can I at least go back to my own room.'

'No, I need to keep an eye on you tonight.'

The doctor suddenly groaned and Garrus, turning his head to see what had caught her attention, saw Mordin Solus.

'Not a fan?' Laughed Garrus.

'He just talks a mile a minute and examines every single thing I do for the crew.'

'He's enthusiastic.' Garrus said pragmatically.

The Doctor only made a _humpf_ noise in her throat. She hurried to the door and waved to Garrus as Mordin entered the room.

'He's all yours Dr Solus. Garrus I will be back soon. Stay put'

The Salarian walked in, grabbing his chart and scanning him with his omni-tool simultaneously. He then lifted the blankets and examined the stitching Dr Chakwas had just finished and nodded.

'Good needle work, excellent finishing. Possibly would have used a different stitching method myself, find applying heat with the cybernetics more effective on Turian plating but adequate none the less. '

'She's a good doctor.' Garrus noted.

'Yes very good, excellent knowledge of Alien anatomy for human.' Mordin drew in a long breath and continued, 'do not think she likes me though.'

'I wouldn't know.' It seemed the best answer to give.

'Does not matter. Everyone can't like everyone. Still, could not pass up studying opportunity.'

'Now hold on Mordin, I'm not a test subject here.'

'No no did not mean tests.' Mordin said hastily. 'Just unusual to get a chance at studying Turian physiology close hand. Interesting to see how your injuries are progressing after Omega. Dr Chakwas did excellent work there. Very good.'

He nodded a few times and then returned the papers to the desk.

'Excellent, excellent. All healing nicely. Should be up and about again in a few days. Did want to talk to you about something, non-urgent matter, now not the best time perhaps. Will pop in again soon to see how things are progressing.'

Garrus let out a sigh when he was left alone. He liked the doctor but he really needed to rest. He had not been alone for five minutes however, when Tali walked into the room and sat down next to his bed. She grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it lightly.

'It's good to see you again Garrus. How are you feeling?'

'I've been worse. Need to rest up a bit though or face the wrath of Dr Chakwas. It's good to see you too. How was life on the flotilla?'

The two of them hadn't been that close the last time they were together, but Garrus was happy to see a friendly face when dealing with Cerberus and the Reapers. Tali seemed to think so as well.

'Different to how it was before meeting Shepard.' Tali laughed. 'But then I suppose everyone's life was different after meeting Shepard. I even found it hard to sleep at first, it seemed so noisy after the Normandy. It's nice to be back. I miss the old faces though' She touched one of the walls affectionately.

'Nice joke Tali.' Garrus said playfully, realising that she hadn't meant it as a dig at his new appearance.

'Oh Gosh. I didn't mean. Oh Garrus I'm sorry.' Tali gasped, seeming horrified at her mistake.

'Kidding Tali. I know you didn't mean it like that.'

'No it was such a stupid thing to say. I wasn't thinking.'

'Relax. I'm glad you didn't think about it. I think it's safe to say that my life before Shepard was somewhat different.'

'We were all so worried about you when you went off the grid like you did.'

'I didn't realise. I'm sorry.'

'Of course we were Garrus.' She scolded him gently. 'We were your team mates. Your friends. But Shepard really did hold us together didn't she?'

'Yeah.' Garrus' voice was hoarse. He didn't like to think back to those times, just after she had died. The funeral had been awful. Hundreds of people had gathered to pay their last respects to the Commander and thousands more had taken a moment to remember her. Most of it was a blur. He did remember the faces of her parents though. They were both high up in the military and had been so dignified in their grief. Garrus had gone over to them to try and explain to them how much their daughter had meant to him, how much she had taught him and how he didn't think the pain in losing her would ever truly leave him. But he couldn't. He had just cried.

Tali lay a comforting arm on his.

'Losing her was terrible. But she's back now. Remember that.'

'And the same thankfully.'

'She defiantly still kicks ass the way she used to. But she still has so much weight to carry. I can't believe the council wouldn't listen to her.'

'It's not just the council.' Garrus said darkly. 'We ran into Ashley.'

'Was it bad?'

'Horrific. She told Shepard that she was a traitor to the Alliance.' Garrus spat.

'How could she? No one who knows Shepard could think that!' Tali was appalled.

'Shepard said it was a human thing. I nearly tore her throat out.'

Garrus could feel himself getting angry again, just thinking about it.

'How did Shepard take it?'

'I've never seen her like that. She was so vulnerable.'

He hadn't told anyone about Shepard's reaction, didn't want them thinking she was weak. But he felt ok telling Tali about it.

'It must have hurt to see her like that.'

'It was.' Garrus admitted. 'But I had to be there for her. She was there for me, after Omega.'

He trailed off, not sure if he wanted to go back there again.

'Yeah I've been hearing some stories about that. Mostly from Joker so I didn't believe half of them. But did you really become a vigilante?'

'Yeah. But it didn't work out so well.'

'What happened?' She asked.

'Well we, my team, managed to piss off three different mercenary groups so we were defiantly doing something right. But one of my team betrayed me. Sidonis. The others died. I was practically dead too but Shepard saved me.' He paused. Well he supposed he should give them some credit. 'Miranda and Jacob helped but it was mostly her.'

'Naturally.' Clearly Tali didn't have much time for the Cerberus humans either.

'Then I took a gunship wound to the face and ended up here. Mordin Solus, he used to be in the Special Tasks Group, came from Omega too, he ran a clinic there and managed to cure a collector plague in the slums, with Shepard's help of course.'

'Of course.' Tali agreed happily. 'What then?'

'Well then we went to get a Krogan warlord called Okeer. He died saving his tank bred offspring which is how we ended up with Grunt. Jack we got from a prison ship, purgatory. But half way through the captain of the ship decided Shepard was too valuable to let her leave.'

'Valuable how?' Tali asked.

'They sold prisoners to the highest bidder. That's how we were getting Jack. We opened all the cells, and rescued her.'

'I've talked to her a little. She seems… a little unhinged.'

'Always so polite Tali. Yeah she's crazy. But Cerberus stole her away as a baby and kept her locked away with other biotic kids and tortured her.'

'Cerberus. I can't believe we are working with them. True they are the only ones who listen about the Reapers and they did bring Shepard back but still. After what we saw I still can't believe we have to work with them.'

'I don't think that this will be a long arrangement. If they don't turn on us after this then we will turn on them.' Garrus said.

'Yes.'

They chatted a little more about their old missions until Dr Chakwas came back and told Tali to let Garrus have some rest. Tali promised to talk with him soon and he hoped they would.

Shepard didn't come and visit him while he was in the med bay which disappointed him, though he understood that his complete unwillingness to talk or even look at her the day before was probably the cause. Dr Chakwas allowed him to leave the med bay but only under strict instruction that he would do nothing strenuous for the next two days.

'And if you have to come back here for more stitching I will not be happy do you understand?'

Garrus, while towering over the women who was speaking, simply shuffled slightly and agreed.

'Now I will need to see you back here in...'

She was cut off by the ships intercom crackling into life.

'We have just had a message from the Illusive man. I'm afraid shore leave will have to be postponed for a day or two as we are going to investigate a damaged collector vessel. We will be arriving there in 30 minutes so be ready. Shepard out'

Dr Chakwas own intercom then sounded.

'Dr Chakwas, is Garrus fit for duty?' Shepard asked

'No Commander he isn't.' The Doctor replied.

'Hang on a minute.' Garrus started but Shepard cut across him.

'No arguing with the doctor Garrus. We need you fit and healthy.'

Garrus left the med bay in a hurry, leaving Dr Chakwas yelling behind him about being careful of her stitches. But he didn't care, Shepard would have to take him on this one.

Shepard took one look at him and shock her head.

'But Shepard. You need me.'

'Jack and Jacob are coming with me on this one.'

Nothing he said could change his mind so returned to his room to wait. He tried to distract himself from thinking about the group on the collector ship or about Shepard in more general terms as he still did not want to even begin processing his recent fantasy about her. But doing anything other than laying down really hurt so he couldn't really do anything but lay there and think about Shepard. He couldn't seem to stop himself. However much he tried to focus his mind on other things, he soon found himself thinking about her. The way she looked, the way she smelt, how good it felt holding her, how she had let him see a softer side of her that she usually kept hidden. And other things like the way she had always demanded the best from him, but not in the way his father had. He remembered what she had told him once, when he had been complaining that being a spectre meant she didn't always have to do things 'by the book' as humans said.

'Everyone gets a chance Garrus. One chance to do the right thing. If they don't take it well that their problem. But you have to give them one chance to make things right.'

'If they've done something wrong they should pay.' Garrus had protested.

'Yes, I'm not saying that they get a chance to go running free into the hills. Sometimes doing the right thing is accepting what you've done and facing the punishment for that. But everyone gets a chance to own whatever it is they have done and do penance. We give them that chance or we're no better than them.'

She really was a living virtue. She truly believed that everyone deserved a chance to do the right thing. Of course if they didn't then justice was swift and merciless.

'Garrus you are required on the combat deck immediately.'

EDI's voice caught Garrus mid thought.

'What? Why? Has something Happened?'

'I cannot tell you that at the moment, please come to the combat deck immediately.'

'EDI what the Hell is going on?'

'Just get your Turian ass up here now!' Yelled Joker.

Tali, Miranda, Zaeed, Kasumi and Grunt were already there by the time Garrus had managed to hobble up to the floor.

'We are ready for any emergency here.'

That was Mordin's voice. The fact that they had prepped the med room increased Garrus' fear tenfold. He could hear shots coming from Joker's connection with the ground team.

'Apparently the 'completely dead' Reaper ship wasn't so dead. It was a trap.' Miranda told him quickly.

'And apparently the Illusive man knew and forgot to mention it.' Tali added, her voice harsh.

Garrus let out a low growl.

'He would have had his reasons.' Miranda argued.

'Really?' Tali said, clearly very angry.

'Because endangering their lives is alright as long as theres a reason.' Kasumi snarled. She seemed pretty pissed too.

'Shut up all of you.' Joker snapped. 'I need to concentrate.'

'We're nearly there.' Yelled the Commander.

'Yeah so you'd better be fucking ready.' Jack added helpfully.

'Just so charming.' Muttered Joker.

'I suggest you go to the shuttle bay.' Said EDI, sounding altogether too calm.

A few tense moments later, the shuttle docked and Joker had them away and into a mass rely going anywhere. All three had suffered injuries, though nothing life threatening, so were quickly helped to the med bay where they were patched up by the two doctors, working seamlessly together. Shepard then had a little chat with the Illusive man but seemed vaguely placated when she returned. The violence Garrus later found her doing to her room suggested otherwise, as did the many and various words she used to describe her boss.

Finally she calmed down a little and lay on her bed, exhausted.

'What the Hell have we got ourselves into Garrus?' She asked him.

'Hey I signed up to follow you anywhere you lead. It's not my fault you lead us into really crappy places.'

He still felt a little awkward talking to her but he was too grateful that she was alright to really care now.

'Yeah we need to go some place nice. A holiday sounds so good right now.'

She stretched then patted the bed next to her to encourage him over. He lay down tentatively, but liked the feeling of cool that came off her body as he did so.

'Where would we go?' He asked, playing along.

'Somewhere warm. With beaches. It's been years since I've been to the beach.'

'Yeah?'

'I haven't been since I was young. My parents used to talk me to the beach once a year. Different planets mind. Haven't been since I was fifteen I think.'

She didn't talk much about her childhood, though it had been a happy one from what he could tell.

'Hot sounds good. I'm always too cold on most planets.'

'We could go to your home.' She said.

'Not really a holiday for me then is it?'

He hadn't told her about his mother's and really didn't want to. He felt so bad about not being there for his family more but he was needed here. Plus he hadn't got round to telling them about the whole Omega experience and really didn't want to do that either.

'True. Still its Illium next, maybe it will be nice there. How are you doing by the way?' She asked, propping herself up on one elbow. Humans really were so flexible.

'I'm fine. What about you?'

'Fine.'

They both started laughing at the same time.

'You know I could almost forget all the problems we face right now when I'm here with you.'

She blushed slightly but kept her gaze fixed on his.

'Anytime.'

They talked for a while longer before Garrus got up to leave her get some rest. Shepard followed him.

'Thanks. Again.' She said, smiling at her old friend.

'You're welcome. Again.' He said in reply and then without thinking, lent forward and touched his forehead against hers. As they straightened she smiled curiously at him and he nodded goodbye at her.

'_Oh __Spirits!_' He thought desperately as the elevator chugged slowly down. '_Please __say__ she__ doesn__'__t __know__ what __that __means!_'


	6. Chapter 6

**So I hope you like it I know I've rushed through some story line bits but I'm figuring you've all played the game and don't really want to go through it again. Plus it brings everything closer to smutty goodness. Please review and tell me what you thought.**

**Shepard POV**

She stood there, stunned, for several minutes.

'_What __the __Hell?_' She thought, running her fingers through her hair. '_Did __he __just __kiss __me?_'

She'd read as much as she could on Turian romance gestures but she had never seen Garrus show even one around her. But she knew that Turian's fringes were one of the most sensitive areas of their bodies. Pressing their foreheads together was the closest a Turian could ever get to kissing and meant very similar things too.

She hardly knew what to think about it. She remembered Tali talking about her and Garrus like it was something that was meant to be. But could a Turian and a human even work? She had done some quick searches into the matter before but pretty much every site she found were pornographic ones for those with a fetish. She had tried one that looked vaguely alright, and then had had to have a very awkward conversation with EDI to explain why she had tried to flood the Normandy's network with viruses. All in all not a good experience.

She wanted to follow him back down and ask he what he had meant by the 'kiss' but the surprise that had filled his features after he had straightened suggested that he didn't really know himself. Still, they would be arriving in Illium in the morning, so maybe a nice excursion would be good. She lay down to sleep but really couldn't, she was too damn excited. And she wanted to tell someone. When Shepard had been younger, back on the ships with her parents, she had never really known how to fit in with the other girls. She couldn't even blame bouncing from one ship to another because all the kids did that. She just hadn't known how to talk to any of them, but then she hadn't been that great with the boys either. She usually kept to herself, practising her weapon skills for the most part. She had always done alright in school, but when they had started basic weapons training at 14 she had excelled far beyond any of her classmates. She had been taken out of a lot of classes at that point and put on a more advanced training course. But that really hadn't helped the whole friendship issue. As a kid she'd been alright but the older they got, the more distant she felt with her peers.

She had never wanted a boyfriend back then, really didn't understand the whole sharing yourself with another. But then back then she had never really trusted the people she worked with until after Elysium. Everyone had praised her for keeping the Batarian's at bay but she knew that if she had trusted those she was working with more they might not have gotten so cut off in the first place, might have saved more people. After that she had always made sure that she got to knew her crew and had learnt to trust them to watch her back as they trusted her to watch theirs.

Still, she'd never really had an issue with ensuring her needs were seen to. Not wanting to get a deep connection with people hadn't stopped her from discovering she had a pretty big sexual appetite, or getting people to help her out with that. But the alliance had always had strict rules about fraternization, especially between differently ranked crew members. That didn't mean it hadn't happened of course, you just had to be pretty careful that you didn't get caught. Shepard laughed, remembering all the places she had hidden when she'd be fraternising and a sudden inspection had been called. She'd never been caught thank God, though she had caught a few people during her own surprise inspections. She was usually pretty lenient with them if she caught them, often pointing out better places to hide. And then there had been that one couple who she'd walked in on and ended up joining in. That had been one Hell of a night.

But Shepard had never felt this before. She had never wanted to be with a person as much as she did Garrus. Plus she had never wanted a Turian before which added a whole new level of complication. Garrus had become so much darker after Omega, and she wasn't having the easiest time of things at this moment. It would be so much easier to just walk away, but she knew she couldn't. She spent pretty much all her free time thinking about Garrus and it was driving her crazy. Just wanting to know how it would feel to stroke his skin, how his body would look without any clothing, and of course whether the rumours about Turian's size were true.

She shivered, her body responding even faster than normal. She seemed to spend most of her time these days in a permanent state of arousal, and however much she tried to work out the tensions on her own, it just wasn't working. All her fantasies now focused around him but without the knowledge of what being with a Turian felt like, they felt incomplete.

She decided to go and see Kasumi, but she messaged Tali first.

'Hey Tali,' She said when the com channel had connected. 'You up for a chat.'

'No.' Groaned the Quarian. She sounded like she had only just woken up.

'Ah bugger, did I wake you?' Shepard cursed for not having checked the time before contacting Tali.

'What's happening?' Tali asked.

'Nothing don't worry. It's just Garrus. But seriously it doesn't matter, go back to sleep.'

'Garrus.' She replied, suddenly sounding far more awake. 'I'll come up now.'

'Well I was going to go down to Kasumi's, have a drink. But seriously, you can just go back to bed, it's not anything really.'

'Yeah right. I'm not going to miss this. I'll meet you there.'

Shepard knocked on Kasumi's door, knowing she wouldn't be asleep. The woman only seemed to need a few hours, like Shepard. Though she always seemed much more refreshed than Shepard ever did.

'Hey Shep.' Kasumi smiled, turning off the blue screen that flickered memories in front of her eyes. 'Pretty late for you isn't it?'

'I needed to talk. Tali's coming up, is that alright?'

'Of course. What's up?'

'Can I have a drink? I could do with one.' Shepard asked.

Kasumi grinned.

'Ah it's one of those nights. I'll get something nice for us. Oh and something for Tali too. You have to love a drunk Quarian. Not quite as funny as a drunk Krogan but a lot less violent thankfully.'

Shepard took the glass containing the brightly coloured liquid and knocked it back in one gulp. She couldn't stop her eyes from screwing up as the alcohol hit the back of her throat.

'Holy shit Kasumi, how strong is this stuff?' She coughed.

Kasumi laughed.

'I told you it was the good stuff. Still, I don't think I've ever seen someone knock that stuff back and stay upright. You really are tough aren't you.'

'As old boots.'

'Uh hello?' A voice called out shyly. Tali really hadn't got used to meeting new people.

'In here Tali. Have you two met yet?'

Tali shook her head and Kasumi shrugged.

'Only unofficially.' She winked at Shepard.

'Well _officially_' Shepard shook her head towards Kasumi, 'Tali Kasumi, Kasumi Tali.'

Tali nodded and accepted the blue drink that Kasumi offered her.

'So what's going on with Garrus?' Tali asked, settling herself down in a chair.

'Oh Garrus!' Kasumi said enthusiastically. 'Has something happened between you two?'

'Ok how many people know about the thing that _isn__'__t_ happening between me and Garrus?' Shepard demanded from her two friends.

'It's mostly the girls. The guys seem so much more oblivious. Though Gardener defiantly suspects something.' Kasumi told her.

'And Joker.' Added Tali. 'We wouldn't let him in with our bet last time, mostly because he was so disgusting. Plus he cheated because he spied on everyone.'

'How long has this been happening then?' Kasumi asked Tali, ignoring Shepard completely.

'You should have seen them on the last Normandy.' Tali laughed, Shepard held her head in her hands. She couldn't remember why she had thought this would be a good idea. 'This was before Shepard realised her feelings mind, so it was even worse. The looks the two of them gave each other. It was terrible, like love sick puppies.'

'We did not!' Shepard protested.

'You really did Commander. It was hilarious.' Tali was in stitches now, clutching at her sides as she laughed at the memories of the two of them.

'So what happened tonight Shep?'

'I'll tell you if Tali can get a hold of herself.' Shepard huffed.

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' Tali took a few deep breaths, 'ok I'm good.'

Shepard rolled her eyes and Kasumi made sure she filled Tali's drink again, clearly trying to get the girl drunk. She noticed her own glass mysteriously refilled for the third time and reminded herself to go steady. They last time she had let her guard down she had ended up getting completely smashed with Dr Chakwas. She did not want her crew to see her staggering around helplessly _again_. It really wasn't the best message to put out there.

'Are either of you familiar with two Turian's pressing their foreheads together?' She asked.

Tali shook her head but Kasumi explained that she had seen it a few times at the citadel.

'So it's sort of like kissing?' Tali asked.

'Yeah.' Shepard said.

'So you and Garrus kissed. Damn it Shepard I wanted more!' Kasumi said, clearly put out with the lack of action.

'No that's so sweet!' Protested Tali.

Shepard really really wished she hadn't started this.

'I'm with you with wanting more Kasumi.' Shepard said, prompting giggles from Tali. Kasumi beamed at her and poured even more liquid into her glass. Shepard raised her eyebrows at the woman but she just grinned back.

'You and Garrus are just the sweetest pair.' Tali said happily.

'Yeah, sweet and innocent in every way.' Kasumi added, goading Shepard slightly.

'No no, it's true love all pure and and stuff.' Tali argued back.

'Sure. I'm sure that everything that Shepard and Garrus are thinking about each other are real nice, wholesome thoughts. About running hand in hand through meadows and things.'

The sarcasm was evident and Shepard could feel the blood rushing into her checks. But it seemed completely lost on Tali who was swaying slightly now.

'Uh maybe you should lie down Tali?' Shepard said, stopping Kasumi from refilling her drink again.

'Mmm that sounds nice.' The Quarian said and then toppled side ways, falling out of her chair and onto the floor.

'See. Priceless.'

'Just help me get her onto your bed Kasumi.' Shepard said, lifting the girl and letting her slump against her shoulder. 'I really should have stopped you.'

'She's a big girl Commander.' Kasumi counted.

'She'd not that experienced in the big wide world. I don't know if they even have alcohol on the flotilla.'

'I like her. She's so nice and so innocent. I hope someday someone sweeps her off her feet.' Kasumi said as they laid the Quarian down on the bed.

'I never knew you were such a romantic.' Shepard laughed.

'Well I think she would want someone to be. For us, well that's a somewhat different matter I feel.'

'I don't know.' Said Shepard thoughtfully, 'being swept sounds nice.'

'Yeah but so much less fun than being taken roughly.'

'Can't I have both?'

'Well then you've found true love.' Kasumi said, looking over fondly to the grey box. 'You ever been in love Shepard?'

'Not until now.' She admitted.

'But you have…' She let the question trail off suggestively.

'Once or twice.' Shepard raised one eyebrow at her friend.

'Any fun memories?' Kasumi asked.

'None that I'm going to share.'

'You're no fun!' Kasumi pouted. She sat thoughtfully for a minute. 'I have to say, I really don't understand your fascination with Turians. I just can't think of them and get excited.'

'I don't have a fascination with Turians. Just Garrus.'

'Yeah that I can see more. But still,' she wrinkled her nose, 'the thought of being with a Turian doesn't give you the shudders?'

It did give her the shudders, this was true. But not the same sort of shudders that Kasumi got. She got way to excited just thinking about him. Thinking about the two of them together was almost too much to stand.

'Not really. Not in disgust anyway.' She answered finally.

'Clearly just not my type. Now if that person were a certain Cerberus officer, well, that would be different.'

'Oh Really?'

'Yes, but sadly he seems to be interested in someone else.' She sighed, but didn't seem to be sad about it, more amused.

'Miranda?' Shepard asked.

'Lord you really are dim sometimes. I meant you.'

'No? Seriously. Oh Gods not again.' Shepard said, exasperated.

'This happens to you often?'

'More than you might think. It just gets so awkward. I really don't understand it.'

'Humm the famous commander Shepard, who always makes sure she has a strong connection with her crew. Probably one of the best soldiers ever seen in the galaxy, who also happens to be a real hero in life. Nope can't see why anyone would find that attractive.' She rolled her eyes. 'Still, what happens now with you and Garrus?'

'I don't know. I'll wait to get to Illium and then see what happens. Anyway, I need to go before you force any more drink on me. The rooms swaying enough as it is. I'd better get this one back to get room too.'

She lifted Tali into her arms.

'God she'd better not throw up in her environment suit.' Shepard said and left Kasumi alone.

Kasumi smiled happily, glad that Shepard seemed a little lighter and happier. She and Garrus deserved happiness. She picked up her visor and scrolled through to the memory she had been looking for. She watched happily, as a past version of herself began to undress Keiji.

Thankfully, Shepard managed to wake the next day hangover free. Tali was less lucky. Shepard saw the Quarian sitting, holding her helmet in the mess hall the next morning. Garrus was there too and nodded to Shepard, his mandibles twitching frantically.

'Urgh kill me now.' Groaned Tali.

'Were you sick?' Asked Shepard.

'Yes. This morning. Urgh I don't want to talk about it. Never let me drink as much again Shepard.'

'You two have a party or something last night.' Asked Jacob, who had heard the conversation.

'Yeah, with Kasumi. Her drinks bar is lethal.' Said Shepard.

'Huh. I'll have to check that out sometime. Always thought this place could do with a bar.'

'You do that.' Shepard smiled, remembering what Kasumi had told her the night before.

'Never thought of you as going in for a girly night Commander.' Miranda said, walking out of her office.

'Oh uh yeah. Not really something I normal do.' Shepard was very aware that she hadn't asked Miranda to come join their evening. They had been making good progress so Shepard wanted to throw something out to her. 'You should come to the next one.'

Miranda smiled, seeing the offer as a step forward in their friendship and nodded. Shepard was glad she had taken it the right way.

'Urgh no next time.' Said Tali, clutching her stomach.

'I've always wondered what actually happens on girlie nights. Though I would love to think that the stories about pillow fights in underwear were accurate.' Said Jacob playfully.

'Idiot.' Laughed Mira, 'usually just gossip. And the obligatory boy talk, of course.' Her eyes flashed knowingly at Shepard for a second.

There was a sudden clatter as Garrus hastily stood up, pushing the table as he did so. Everyone looked at him.

'I need to calibrate the guns.' He muttered, and strode off to the battery.

Shepard cringed at his lack of subtly.

'Poor guy.' Laughed Miranda, 'His mandibles must have been burning all last night.'

'Miranda!' Shepard hissed, glaring at the women, who just laughed harder and walked back to her office.

'Oh Keelah, don't make me laugh. It hurts too much.' Tali said, shaking with laughter.

'Wait what?' Said Jacob.

'Ye Gods.' Muttered Shepard. She really didn't want to have a chat with Jacob.

'Commander we've reached Illium.' Joker said over her com link.

'_Saved__ by __the_ _bell._' Shepard thought.

She stood up.

'Thanks Joker.' She said and turned. 'You coming?' She asked Tali as Joker announced that everyone could have some time away from the Normandy.

'Yeah. Hopefully the fresh air will help my head.'

'Go and see Dr Chakwas before we go. Get some pain meds. I'll meet you there in five.' Shepard advised. Her eyes flickered to the closed Battery doors.

She walked across the room, ignoring the chuckles from Gardner.

'C'mmon Garrus.' She said.

'I think I will sit this one out. My side's still giving me problems.'

'You don't have to fight. But there's sightseeing.'

'Maybe next time.'

He was doing the not looking at her thing again, but she wasn't having any of it this time. She knew ordering him wouldn't work. She reached out and gently touched his arm.

'Please?' She said quietly. 'I'd like to do something,' she paused for one tiny moment. 'together.'

He looked around at her questioningly.

'Alright.' He said slowly, like he was trying to map out the new territory. 'That sounds nice.'

**Garrus POV**

Garrus was pretty sure that Shepard had been talking about him to Tali and Kasumi and that made him feel pretty uncomfortable. But then she had come and asked him to do something _with_ her and how could he say no to that? He'd spent the whole night thinking about his and Shepard's touch. He couldn't explain where it had come from but he was beginning to realise that his feelings for Shepard were a lot stronger than he'd ever known. Well ever admitted to at least.

Garrus, Tali and Shepard were the last to leave the ship, except for Joker who never left the ship. Shepard had tried to get him to use his shore leave a few times but to no avail. He said the Normandy was his home, no place he'd rather be and they left him to it. As soon as they had left the docking area an Asari introduced herself to them.

'Liara's here?' Shepard asked said happily.

Liara had become a lot colder since Garrus had seen her last. Troubled by things clearly. He had no idea what happened to her after the funeral for Shepard. Liara had told them that the she had no information regarding the assassin but that the Justicar had checked in with security. She promised that she would let them know if she found anything more. Garrus didn't really like that she asked Shepard to hack computers for her, but she seemed to be so desperate.

They didn't go immediately, but decided to have a wander round first. Tali left Shepard and Garrus alone, saying that she wanted to look at tech upgrades. Garrus was grateful to her, though her excited chatter with the shop assistant made him think that it wasn't the worst compromise for her. They didn't talk much, but wandered about together, which suited Garrus. Tali caught up with them again and Shepard then left to find Zaeed and Jack who she was taking with her, and probably hacking a few terminals along the way. He and Tali had a good time looking at the food stalls and bemoaning the nutrient paste they lived on most days.

They got back to find that the mission had been a success and that Miranda had found out what she needed from her sources and that they would head out the next day. When Shepard and Miranda got back from that mission they seemed closer than they had ever been. Garrus was pleased that Miranda's sister was safe. The next day he went back out with Shepard to see Liara, as she had contacted the Normandy to say that she had information.

'Thanks for the information Liara.' Shepard said after their meeting.

'It isn't a problem. It's the least I can so after all your help.'

'Garrus, you good to suit up?' Shepard asked.

Before he could reply, Liara held up a hand.

'Actually I was hoping to speak to Garrus for a minute. Privately.' Liara said.

Shepard looked questioningly at the Asari, then shrugged.

'No problem.'

She left the two of them alone.

'Have a seat.' Liara said, indicating the chair in front of her desk.

Garrus sat an waited.

'I'm glad you're there to watch Shepard's back Garrus. I don't trust Cerberus. Grateful though I am for bringing her back.'

'I agree.'

'Listen Garrus. I know what happened to you in Omega. We've both changed, done some things we aren't proud of. But your still my crew mate and I've been looking to find information for you. It's taken me a while but finally something has come up. About Sidonis.'

Garrus jerked in his seat.

'You know where he is?' He growled.

'Yes. Here. He had a meeting with a guy named Fade. He provides people with new identities. I've set you up a meeting with Fade, no names obviously. Two weeks on the Citadel, shipping warehouse. Good luck Garrus.'

'Liara, I, I don't know what to say. You have no idea what this means. Thank you.'

'I think I do Garrus. Be careful.'

**Shepard POV**

Shepard had never met a Drell before and he fascinated her. She had spent the last half hour talking with him about his religion and his people. She was surprised at how calm he was about his imminent death, and the calmness around him in general. She decided to ask Kelly what she thought about him.

'I'm amazed by his spiritual side, his psych profile said nothing about that.' Kelly told her.

'Me too. I've never met anyone like him.'

'I'm glad you came by Commander, Garrus came back earlier with a new fire in his eyes. I think he's had some news. You should go talk to him. Also I'm a bit worried about Grunt. He seems even more violent than usual, maybe you should talk to him too.'

'Thanks Kelly.'

Shepard decided Grunt could wait and headed straight to Garrus. She found him pacing up and down by the main gun.

'What going on Garrus?' She asked.

'Sidonis. I've found him.'

Shepard promised that they would make sure they were there in time for the meeting and two weeks later they found themselves at the Citadel. Shepard had been fine with Garrus popping a cap into Harkin's leg but couldn't just stand and watch him kill someone in revenge. She'd seen too many people take that road and not one of them had ever come back. It changed a person. Garrus had been as pissed as Hell at first, screaming at her when they got back to the Normandy. She had let him get it all out, making sure all the poison was gone. Finally he slumped down.

'How are you always right Shepard?' He asked.

'I'm perfect?' She answered smiling.

'Clearly.' Garrus threw back, but at least he smiled.

'I need to go, deal with all this. But thanks. Seriously.'

'I'm always here for you Garrus.' She said, holding him close to her for a few seconds.

They hadn't seen each other for a few days after that, but Shepard knew he needed time to heal. She was pleased when she saw a message pop up on her console, asking her to go and see him.

'Shepard. Thanks for coming.' He said when she entered the room. 'I just wanted to thank you again for making me do the right thing. I needed it.'

She smiled and sat down on the crates.

'You seem restless.' She said after a while, watching him moving about.

'It's strange going into a suicide mission on a Human ship. Your people don't prepare for high risk operation the way Turian's do.'

'How do Turian crews get ready for high risk missions?' Shepard asked.

'With violence usually.' He replied and then proceeded to tell her about his experience with one crew member. She shook her head then, feeling particularly brave, made a decision.

'It sounds like your carrying some tension. Maybe I could help you get rid of it' She said, not able to conceal the note of wanting in her voice.

'I, ah, didn't think you'd feel like sparing, Commander.' He replied, with a hint of nerves. Clearly he wasn't on the same thought line as her. She took another breath.

'_I've__ started __so__ I__'__ll__ finish_.' She thought.

'What if we skipped right to the tiebreaker. We could test your reach and my flexibility.'

'_Holy__ shit __did__ I __just__ say __that?_'

Garrus paused for a moment.

'Oh I didn't… huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.' He floundered. 'Well, why the Hell not. There's no one in the galaxy I respect more than you. And if we can find a way to make it work the yeah… defiantly.'

Shepard couldn't speak, she just left the room, smiling.

**Garrus POV**

'_So __that__ was __interesting._' He thought to himself. _'__Still,__ easing __tension__ sounds __good. __Nothing __heavy. __Then __maybe__ I __get __her __out __of __my __head_. _Still, __at __least __she __thinks __about __me__ in__ that __sort __of __way __too._'

He suddenly felt a lot better about his fantasies. Maybe she was even fantasising about him. The thought sent shivers down his spine.

'Uh EDI, can you make sure my door is locked. I'm going to need some privacy.'


	7. Chapter 7

**So this is pretty much how this story first started in my head, so I really hope you like it :D**

**Garrus POV**

Garrus was liking the idea of 'easing tension' with Shepard more and more as the weeks went by, which usually resulted in him not getting much work done and having his room door almost permanently locked for privacy. He had told her that he felt they should wait until just before the suicide mission but he was really regretting that now, wanting to have her increasingly more each time she came and saw him. Though that had been slightly less of late as most of the crew were trying to tie up loose ends before hitting the Omega-4 relay and that usually involved Shepard killing things. At the moment she was out with Thane trying to stop his son from following in his father's footsteps. A noble goal sure, but he really didn't like the way the Drell looked at Shepard. Or, if he was being more honest than usual, the amount of time she spent with him. Garrus was pretty sure that Jacob wouldn't have minded being more with Shepard than just crew mates, but she had never shown any signs of liking him at all, just like she hadn't with Kaidan and Liara. But she really seemed to like the Drell. Clearly she liked men with a dangerous edge to them or maybe she just wasn't into humans, he wasn't really sure, but he really rather liked the idea of her being into him and didn't want that to stop. Plus if he did get to touch her soon he was pretty sure he would explode.

The doors to the Battery swung open at that moment and the object of his fantasies walked in.

'Shepard. I was just thinking about you.' Said Garrus.

'Good.' There was that smile again. He had been seeing it more and more the last few weeks and it was different to how she had usually smiled. He'd first noticed it when she suggested blowing off steam together. He would have to investigate it as every time he saw it, it make his stomach curl in excitement, but he really didn't want to be misreading it.

'How did it go with Thane's son.' He asked, attempting to be casual.

'Good. We stopped him from killing a politician and I'm pretty sure I convinced Bailey to let him off with community service.'

'For attempted murder?' Garrus asked sceptically.

'Almost attempted murder. He's just a messed up kid Garrus. What good with sending him to prison do, other than make a new criminal. He wants to make a difference and hopefully this will help him see how to make a difference the right way.'

'How do you always see the best path and the best in people still. After all you've seen. I know it's changed me and most people.'

'I'm an idealist. Sometimes I make the wrong choices, let people go who I shouldn't, like Elnora, the Eclipse merc I let go when recruiting Samara. But it's better than killing someone who was innocent or wanted a chance to do the right thing. Most of the time my guts right anyway, thankfully.'

She made a face at this and sighed.

'You made a mistake?' Garrus asked gently.

'Several, but one sticks with me even though it happened a long time ago. There was a serious of murders of top soldiers that my Captain was investigating. I wanted to prove myself so I hacked his terminal to get the information. A bad plan I know, I was young but that's not much of an excuse. I followed the trail and was so sure I had the guy doing it. I cornered him at a station on one of the colonies. He begged for mercy, saying that there had been reasons, but I would listen, put a bullet straight through his head. I was given a promotion for catching him. I had thought it was strange, seeing as I had hacked my commanding officer's private terminal to get the information, so I did a little digging. Found out that these soldiers had been corrupt and were giving colony defensive codes to the Batarian's so they could get slaves easier by taking out any defensis, unlocking doors, that sort of things. This guy's whole family had been sold into slavery, tortured and the brutally murdered, along with hundreds of other people. The soldiers had been given quiet retirements so the alliance could save face.'

'Damn.' Said Garrus quietly.

'Yeah. So from then on, I always tried to make sure that I listened to people. Of course most people deserve nothing and that's what they get. But only after they've chosen that path.'

'What happened to the soldiers in the end?' He asked.

Shepard surprised him by grinning.

'I leaked the story to a journalist. They all ended up going to jail. I did it anonymously, but they knew it was me. It was never openly admitted, but they then put me on a very low priority, babysitting job, hoping not to hear from me again.'

'So that didn't work out for them then?'

'Not really.' Explained Shepard. 'The boring and very quiet outpost they put me on was Elysium. And we all know how that story worked out. But hopefully things will work out for Kolyat and he and Thane can start getting to know each other again. Anyway I should probably go.'

She didn't move.

'Uh Shepard?' Garrus said, slightly perplexed.

'I don't want to go. I'm comfy and no one is asking me to do anything.'

'I'm not exactly forcing you to go.' Garrus said softly, and walked over to the woman perched on the crates.

He reached his hand up gently and ran his hand over her face. Even through the glove he could feel how soft her skin was, feel how cool it was compared to his skin. Shepard let out a small moan and closed her eyes, smiling softly. Humans were defiantly too complicated. Sure he couldn't understand other species, like the Elcor, not many outside their species could. But he knew that, had he wanted to learn, he could. It may have taken years to really learn all the signs and then learn to differentiate between the subtle differences between them, but he knew that he could because all Elcor reacted in the same way to the same situations. It was like that for most species. Plus the Elcor realised that they were too complicated for others to work out so they gave helpful hints. But humans. No one could ever really _learn_ human body language, because different cultures had different ways of reacting to the same thing. Plus they had so many smiles for things, so many laughs. You couldn't automatically assume that a smile mean happy because it could be a wry smile or a sarcastic smile. And the worst thing was, even if you got too humans from the same background, often they couldn't really read the body signs from the other person beyond the surface ones. What hope did he have?

Shepard reached out and let her hand run down his face, mirroring his own hands. He felt her fingers run over his clan marking, then down to his mandibles, stroking them gentle. She stood up, without releasing her hold and moved her fingers up to his fringe. It was his turn to moan. His hands reached out for her, pulling her closer to him. He let them explore her back, wanting to rip off the soft layer of fabric and stroke her skin directly.

'Commander Shepard?' A voice called.

'No.' Shepard hissed. 'I'm not here.'

'Commander Shepard, The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you.' It was Kelly, speaking over the com.

Shepard let out a growl of frustration, but answered it.

'I'll be there in a minute Kelly, thanks for letting me know.'

She smiled at Garrus again, a sarcastic smile this time.

'No rest for the wicked eh?'

She pecked him lightly on the check and left him alone.

Five minutes later, Garrus was lying naked on his bed, remembering the feel of those soft cold hands on his face and running across his fringe.

'_Oh__ Spirits!_' He thought, shivering slightly at the memory.

Her touch was so much softer than any Turian woman had ever been, but the extra fingers and their dexterity had been something else. He remembered the sound of her moan, which sent new thrills of pleasure coursing through his body. While Turians and Humans were very unalike in most ways, they were both predators, both driven by fairly animalistic tendencies, far more so than the Salarians or the Asari. Neither species was nowhere near as bad as the Krogan, but the two species were fairly evenly matched. It was true that the Asari had the reputation as the most sexual species in the galaxy, but from what Garrus had seen, they usually went for several more long term connections and even their one offs were deeply spiritual and held a lot of meaning for them. But Human and Turians were fairly similar, having one of affairs for all sorts of reasons, often just for the hell of it. But after that the similarity ended. He knew humans fell in love and that it could last a whole life time, but he also knew that humans could fall out of love pretty easily too. When a Turian fell in love that was it, they would never love another. Sadly this sometimes happened to Turians where someone feel for a person who was already in love with someone else. They would spend their lives broken hearted. Turians really did mate for life, but only when they found the right mate.

He was nearing his release and was annoyed that his mind kept being side tracked by observant ramblings. He sighed and attempted to focus his mind back to the task at hand.

'Garrus?'

Shepard's voice made him jump violently and for a second he thought she was in his room with him. But it was just the com. Shepard had warned everyone not to ever turn them off, even for a minute, wherever they were so that she could always reach them in an emergency. She even made EDI turned any com that had been turned off back on. She let people turn off most channels but was very firm about this. She had said that she didn't care what people did in their private time and would give them as much freedom as she could, but that the mission had to come first and that meant her being able to contact anyone, anytime, anywhere in an emergency and they'd damn well better be ready to report for duty. He made sure that he never blocked any channel, not wanting her to not be able to reach him ever again. Though it might be worth thinking about in the future.

'Uh yeah Shepard?' He answered.

'Can you come up here please?'

'Um, I'll be up in a few minutes.' He answered.

'Nah its ok, I'll come down.'

'No Shepard, wait!' He yelled, but she had already signed off. She had sounded excited, and very impatient, he didn't think even EDI could hold her up.

'Shit.' He muttered, and hurriedly began to dress himself.

The problem was, it always took a while before he was fully dressed again, especially as he had to take time making sure he didn't hurt the wounds on his shoulder. Before he could finish, she was knocking on his door.

'Hey Garrus, its me.' Shepard called.

He was just about to call out that he needed another minute as he had only got the bottom half on when he decided against it. He had wanted her to see his scars before _the_ night simply so she could have a chance to change her mind when she saw the extent of the damage. What better chance than this. He could say he'd been redressing them, to explain the waist up nudity.

'Come in Commander.' He said, hesitantly.

He had wanted this but also really hadn't. He knew that Human women and Turian women for that matter could be pretty superficial about this sort of thing. He didn't think Shepard was one of those women but the damage was extensive. He turned around so that his back and sat down on his bed.

'Garrus, great news, I…' She trailed off mid-sentence and stared.

'I was just redressing the bandages, what's happening?' He asked, making his voice as level as possible. It was difficult, mostly because she was staring at his chest. At his scars. 'Shepard?' He prompted.

She didn't say anything, just stood there staring. He was getting pretty uncomfortable and stood up, grabbing his amour. Quick as a flash she pulled it out of his hands and tossed it onto his bed. She put both hands onto his front and began to trace the scars with her nimble little fingers. Then she ran her fingers across the edges of his plates. She moved him round and moved her hands along his back plates. She picked up one of his arms at time and inspected them. Garrus did not saying anything while this was happening, but felt pretty embarrassed by the scrutiny. Finally she put his arm down and stepped back.

'I've never seen a Turian without amour before.' She said, looking a little guilty after her inspection. 'You're really beautiful Garrus.'

'Uh thanks.' He stuttered. 'I know the scaring is uh.' He couldn't finish.

'Hey you should see my battle scars.'

'Anytime.' He growled, but then returned to the issue, needing to make sure she was ok. 'I know it's a lot, If you don't want, if you'd prefer not to.'

'Shhhhh.' She interrupted, placing a finger over his mouth. 'We're ok. Don't worry.'

'Ok. Good.' He sighed, relieved. 'So you've really never seen a Turian naked before?'

'You're not exactly naked so this doesn't count.' She observed. 'And no. You've seen humans?'

'Yeah. C-Sec. Never close up though. I've seen humans in most states but humans tended to be looked after by the human C-Sec members, or the Asari. To be fair, the Asari members looked after everyone, but otherwise they kept it pretty much each to their own. Plus the humans were usually bloody and battered by the time they came to us.'

'What did you think?' Asked Shepard, one eyebrow raised.

'In all honest not much about it. Different sure, but not that different to the Asari. More… Wobbly and soft.'

Shepard burst out laughing.

'Gee Garrus. Way to make a girl feel confidant.'

'I didn't say it was a bad thing. Oh crap.' He spluttered hurriedly.

'Oh Garrus. You are wonderful. Anyway, I'm sorry I interrupted you. I just wanted to say that we have been invited to a ball. I will let people know in a meeting but I had to tell you. It's Christmas soon, one of the old Earth holidays that has been carried forward. Technically a religious ceremony but lots of people who aren't religious or a different religion celebrate it anyway. The Alliance is having a big soirée and apparently, while no one likes Cerberus, and who can blame the, no one can say no to the Illusive Man's money. Apparently he wants Cerberus to be more accepted by the Alliance or something. I don't think anyone's buying it but I don't really care.

'Great. Balls. Did I ever tell you I hate those?' Garrus said dryly.

'Oh no, no getting out of this one.' She grinned happily.

'Hang on, are you telling me that the famous Soldier Commander Shepard likes dressing up and dances?' Garrus said, incredulous.

'What can I say, I'm full of surprises.'

'What about the mission?' He implored, 'Surly that's the most important thing?'

'I've been pushing the crew pretty hard, they deserve a break. Hell I deserve a break.'

And Garrus really couldn't argue with that one.

'When is it?' He sighed.

'Only a few days, anyway, it's not like we have to travel anywhere. We're already at the Citadel.'

Garrus was already bored as hell and they had only been there for fifteen minutes. He had been cornered by some of the Turian diplomats who had been invited and was really running out of small talk already. The whole of the Normandy had turned out, with a few exceptions, but there seemed to be no problems. Garrus had long suspected that most of the crew that the made up the Normandy were from the least anti-alien sections of Cerberus. Jack, Grunt and Zaeed had refused point blank to go, and a few of the human crew had joined them. They were having a slasher horror movie night in protest. Garrus had been tempted to join them but he hadn't wanted to pass up a night of being with Shepard. Though he had no idea where she was, possibly still being polished by Kasumi, who would be reaming cloaked for the evening, not wanting to be recognised.

'Isn't this exciting?' Tali said from behind him.

'Is it?'

'Well I've never been to anything like this before. Quarians are not exactly high on the social list.'

'This isn't really a Turian thing either.' He pointed out.

'Oh look!' She said, indicating two figures and laughing.

Mordin seemed to be in his element here and was currently twirling a very surprised looking Dr Chakwas around the dance floor.

'Ok, so the nights looking up. Mordin seems to be a pretty good dancer.'

'A man of many talents. I wish I could wear dresses like this.' Tali sighed wistfully. 'They are so beautiful.'

'I can't really see the appeal myself.'

'Oh really.'

The tone in Tali's voice caught Garrus' attention and when he looked at her questioningly, she nodded past his shoulder. Garrus turned round and gasped.

'I thought so.' Said Tali smugly.

Shepard was a vision. She wore a floor length evening gown, made of satin. When she moved the dress seemed to flow about her like water, clinging to every curve. It was a dark green that really suited her. It had a strap on one shoulder but the other was completely bare and Garrus had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. She was being led in on the arm of Anderson and Garrus knew he wasn't the only one whose eyes were being drawn to the Commander. She caught his eye and smiled at him and Garrus found remembering how to breath increasingly difficult. Anderson led her onto the dance floor and the danced one awkward and stiff number. Garrus assumed it was because neither of them could dance. Then something happened that not only changed his view on this subject but would leave him irrevocably changed forever.

Mordin walked up to Shepard as the music ended and took the place in front of her, replacing a rather grateful Anderson, who really couldn't dance. When the music began again Mordin began and Garrus soon realised that he had been very wrong about Shepard. She wasn't a bad dancer at all. She wasn't even a good dancer. She was incredible. The other couples on the floor had quickly moved out of their way, letting the two have the floor, wanting to watch the show. Garrus pushed his way through them, not wanting to lose a second of this.

The way she moved, so fluid, almost reminded him of when she was fighting. He had always thought that he had never seen anyone make fighting look as natural as Shepard did and this was the same. He had no idea of what her feet were actually doing, but he was captivated anyway. When they finished the whole room applauded their efforts. Shepard then came over to him, her face flushed from excitement and embarrassment.

'Mordin's an excellent dancer, clearly all that stage work paid off.'

'Mordin? What about you. Where did you learn to dance like that?' Garrus exclaimed.

'Oh everyone at the academy has to learn some formal dancing. And my parents both liked to dance so I learnt pretty young. Didn't I ever tell you I liked to dance?'

'Yes but.' Garrus floundered. 'You never said you could dance like that.'

'Could I have the pleasure of the next dance, Siha?' Thane interrupted, walking over to them.

'Of course.' Shepard smiled. Thane bowed slightly and help out his arm.

Garrus spent the whole night watching Shepard dance with people, though Thane seemed to be the most common partner which he did not like. Shepard had asked him to join her a few times but Garrus really hadn't been joking when he had told her that Turians didn't dance. Garrus wouldn't have even known where to start, but he had never wished that he could in all his life. He envied everyone who held her that night, wanting it to be him so much. But he knew he couldn't, and he had never felt so distant from her.

She had tried to talk to him on the way back to the Normandy but he had just snapped at her. He hadn't meant to, but he had become so depressed the longer the night when on, he couldn't help himself.

'What the Hell is Shia by the way?' He had thrown at her harshly.

'What? Oh it's just something Thane has started calling me. I don't know what it means. He won't tell me.'

'It's a very nice pet name.' He had spat and walked away.

'Garrus.' She called, but he didn't look back, didn't want her to see the tears that were falling from his eyes.

As he lay in the darkness, he finally accepted the thing that his body had been telling him for so long, but his mind had been rejecting, just how much he felt for Shepard. The cruelty of the world crushed him. He had fallen in love for someone who he could never really be with. He had never heard of a Turian who had actually bonded with a human in that way. Had affairs and flings with yes. But truly fallen in love with. No one would ever accept it, he already knew, on either side of the species line. He had hoped it was just an infatuation or a curiosity, but the torrent of emotion he had felt seeing her be held by other men had overwhelmed him. In truth he had known from the moment he had looked into Joker's eyes two years ago, when his look told him she was dead. But he'd never let himself think that, pretended it wasn't like that. He would have to stop pretending now. But what did this mean. Did he have to leave the Normandy? No he couldn't do that, couldn't leave the galaxy, couldn't leave her to this fate. But he knew it couldn't work. Maybe he could still fall for a Turian woman, someday. He knew that wouldn't work either.

'Garrus. Can I come in?' A small voice called from outside.

He would have to tell her, have to break things off now.

'Yeah come in.'

She stepped in, looking more scared then he had ever seen her, even in the face of overwhelming odds and near death experiences.

'Garrus I'm sorry. I didn't realise my dancing with others would upset you. I didn't think. I'm so so sorry.'

'It's not that Shepard it's just… it's just.'

He couldn't say it, couldn't tell her that they couldn't be together. Couldn't lose her again.

'Garrus are you crying? What is it?'

She tried to put her arm around him but he shrugged her off.

'Please Garrus.' She begged.

'It can't work.' He whispered.

'What can't work?' She asked.

'Us.'

'What? Why not?'

'Because. Because it's more than I thought it was.' He turned to face her now. 'I don't want to blow off steam with you or ease tension. I want to be with you, body and spirit.'

'What's wrong with that?' She asked desperately.

'You don't understand.' Garrus yelled, suddenly so angry at the world, at their situation.

'What don't I understand?' She yelled back.

'I'm in love with you.' It came out in a rush with such force that Garrus felt slightly stunned. 'And I can't be in love with you.' He continued, his voice now cracked and full of sadness, sinking onto the bed.

'Why?' She asked, sitting next to him.

'Because your Human.' He admitted.

'So?' She demanded.

'You don't care that I'm a Turian? That I'm not Human?'

'No. I don't give a flying fuck what species you are. I love you Garrus. That's all that matters.'

'It's not that simple.' He protested.

'Yes it is.' She said, a sudden warmth in her voice. 'Now EDI.'

'Yes Commander Shepard.' EDI replied.

'What?' Garrus was lost.

Suddenly, a gentle song started playing into his room. Shepard stood up and then pulled him up to.

'Don't say a word.' She Commanded. 'And we may be alright.'

She wrapped his arms around her waist, and put her own around her neck and lay her head against his chest and began moving her feet slightly to the music.

And Garrus and Shepard danced.


	8. Chapter 8

**Seasons greeting. Hope you have a happy time, whatever you are celebrating! This Chapter picks up just where the last one left off. **

**Shepard POV**

The music ended and Shepard let out a small sigh. She led Garrus back to the bed and laid down, pulling him down next to her. She knew that she needed to get this right, how important this was, for both of them. But she couldn't find the words to begin.

'Why is this so hard?' She asked him.

He let out a harsh laugh.

'No idea.' He answered. 'Maybe because it's not supposed to happen.'

'If it wasn't supposed to be happening then it wouldn't be happening. And it wouldn't have happened to other people either. So that's just crap.' She was sure of that at least.

'Then why is it so hard?' He countered.

'Because we're both useless.' She suggested.

This prompted another laugh, but it was much more natural this time.

'Shepard you are the most amazing women I've ever met. I didn't think you could be useless at anything.' He teased.

'I'll take that as a compliment, even if it wasn't intended that way.' She said, poking her tongue out.

'Uhh what was that?' Garrus asked, another human metaphor being lost on him.

'Oh it's just a silly thing really. Sort of like nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. Though you probably don't know what that means either. It's pretty childish anyway. I don't really know how to explain it. Isn't that strange, it's just a part of Human culture.'

'Humans are very strange this is true. I've only ever seen you do that when your focusing on something really hard. You often stick your tongue out slightly when you're in a fight. I've often assumed it was a way of focusing your mind.'

'Human tongues have many uses.' Shepard said, a smile playing on the edges of her lips.

'Really?' Garrus asked. He was clearly getting more used to her expressions and human nuances. 'What like?'

'I think it's something I will have to explain another time.'

Garrus made a small humph noise to show his dislike of the idea. He ran his hands across her hips, pulling slightly at the green fabric.

'This dress really is lovely.' Garrus admired. 'So soft.'

'Thank you. Kasumi got it for me, though I didn't ask where from.'

'I have to say, I'd have never have pictured you in anything like this. I've always seen you, well more like a Turian really. Armour being the preferable clothing option, and otherwise something casual but still able to store several weapons in.' Garrus said.

'That is the usual preference, I have to admit. It's also pretty hard to find a place for femininity when most days you come home covered in blood and grease. But I still like it sometimes, to feel more like a lady.'

'I'd never even thought of that. I don't really think that's an issue with Turian women. Or at least not to the same extent.'

Shepard closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of Garrus' exploring talons.

'Shepard I, eh… I'm sorry about what I said before. It's just. Well, I don't know how much you know about Turian relationships.'

He paused but Shepard made sure he face stayed perfectly blank. She was pretty sure she knew what he was about to say, but he really didn't need to know about her obsessive late night research into anything that could give her more hints about Turians.

'It gets complicated. We are actually similar to humans in some respects, not that either the Alliance or the Hierarchy would ever admit that.' He chuckled. 'But while humans like the idea of being with one person for their whole lives, many don't actually manage that. But for Turians we really do mate for life, when we have found our bond-mate we are joined to them for the rest of our lives. It's the only time we ever fall in love with someone, and we will stay in love with them until we die.'

'So are you saying that your worried I'm going to get bored and leave you?' Shepard asked, slightly hurt.

'Not really.' Garrus laughed. 'You're probably the most stubborn and loyal human I've ever met. I can defiantly see that, when your find the right person, you will be with them for your whole life. And what person could resist you?'

'Um Garrus?' Shepard gave him a look.

'Yes?'

'You do realise that I've found that person don't you?'

'You don't know that.' He said softly, and she couldn't help herself from shivering at the beauty of his voice. 'You could meet someone, someone Human. Or even an Asari.'

'Garrus, you can't tell me who I want. Now it potentially isn't the easiest choice, and I'm really not looking forward to that particular conversation with my parents, but I love you, I want you and no Human or Asari or even a Krogan is going to change my mind on this one. I know what I feel.'

'Krogan?'

'Hey you never know. I've never been particularly conventional.' She grinned.

'Sooo.' He said slowly. 'How do we do this?'

'I have no idea. I think we just figure it out as we go along.'

'Ok. Good. Maybe I can do a little research and we can just go slow.'

Shepard couldn't help smiling at his awkwardness, but needed to make sure he was comfortable with everything.

'Look if you ever feel, uncomfortable and I put too much pressure on you just say.'

'I don't think that's something you have to worry about.'

Shepard snuggled closer to him, closing the gap between them. She was always amazed at how warm he was, even when he was in his dress armour.

'This is nice.' She breathed. 'Not having to do anything or be there for everyone. It's nice to just have a moment for me. Even if you are wearing too much.'

'How are you holding up?' He asked, pulling her face up so she was looking into his eyes. 'And I mean really.'

Shepard sighed. She really didn't want to do this but forced herself to swallow the 'fine' that was already being formed in her mouth.

'I'm tired.' She said, truthfully. 'I'm not sleeping well, I'm having more nightmares that I ever thought humanly possible, I have to sort out everyone else's problems, I feel like I've turned my back on the military, my parents, my whole life. I hate that no one believes me and that so many people think I'm a traitor for joining Cerberus, Hell I think I'm a traitor for joining Cerberus and…' She paused for a moment, not really sure how to express the nagging feeling that had been clawing at her from the very depths of her mind.

'What it is?' Garrus asked gently, cupping her cheek in his hands. She pressed her face into it, gaining strength from him.

'I died Garrus. I died. I still don't know how to deal with it. I was dead for two years. I have no idea how I will eventually explain my absence to my parents. And a really small selfish part of me is thinking, I did my bit, I saved the galaxy, but I'm not even allowed some peace when I'm dead. I'm brought back to save everyone again. I've been thrust into this, without even being given the option of saving no.'

Her voice was barely a whisper. She'd kept this in for so long, it felt good to voice it finally.

'Would you have said no?' Asked Garrus.

'No, of course not.' Shepard replied with a half-smile. 'I wouldn't have done anything differently, except for not dying in the first place and being with the Alliance instead of Ceberus, obviously. And I don't regret being brought back either, don't get me wrong. I would defiantly prefer to be alive, it's just hard.'

'I really can't imagine what it must be like. To have all this burden on you, so many lives depending on you. I only had a small fraction of it, and I failed so horribly. I let my team die, and I will have to take responsibility for that. But I know that's nothing compared to what you deal with. But I know something else too. You will never stop trying, never stop being a force of nature. No hope can ever, truly, be lost while you keep breathing.'

'No pressure then.' Shepard said, smiling.

'Shepard, when you died, my whole world collapsed. I'd only known you for such a short time, but you became so much to me, to all the Normandy. So while it isn't great that we are working for Cerberus, they brought you back, and for that I am eternally grateful.'

Garrus pulled her back into his chest with so much force Shepard found it difficult to breath. She didn't mind though. She had never felt safer or more at home than in the arms of Garrus.

'I'd be pretty lost without you too. When you took that helmet off, and I realised who you were, I just couldn't believe it.'

'I think I was the luckier in that particular situation. Not sure I could have made it out alive without you. Actually no, scratch that, I defiantly couldn't have survived that without you. You save me, every time.' He confessed.

Shepard lent forward and began to run kisses along his cheek, letting her hands run across his fringe. Garrus, quickly catching on to her train of thought, began to hungrily explore her body with his hands. He pushed her onto her back with one strong hand but Shepard wasn't going to let him be the dominant one, well not just yet. Using her legs she twisted herself so she was free from the weight of his body and then forced him onto his back before straddling him, pushing both his arms into the bed. Garrus let out a low warning growl, which made her tremble with excitement.

'Giving up so soon?' She taunted playfully.

Garrus didn't say anything, but forced his hands out of her grasp, pulled her close to him before spinning her round, off the bed, and pinned her to the floor. Garrus was stronger but Shepard was quicker and more flexible. He hadn't been able to control her arms, so she pulled her fingernails through his fringe. She knew it wouldn't hurt him, but that it wouldn't make him lose focus, and, hopefully, send him slightly more out of control.

'Shepard.' Garrus moaned.

He tried to get a firmer hold on her, but all he managed to get was material. He pulled at it in frustration and ripped the dress in two. Shepard used his distraction to throw him off her and stand up, the other half of the dress now on the floor.

'Let's not tell Kasumi that this happened, shall we?' She said, very aware that she was now in her underwear.

Shepard had never been shy about her body and had never felt self-conscious when stripping off in front of her other partners. But now she could feel her face growing hotter. Maybe it was because he was a Turian and she wasn't. She really didn't want him to be turned off by her _wobbliness_, as he had so kindly put it. Or maybe it was because it had never mattered to her as much as this. If a guy hadn't like her body before, then all it meant she didn't do anything with them. True she knew that she wasn't a super model or anything, but up to this point she'd had no complaints.

'_Fuck it._' She thought, and removed what was left of the clothes she had been wearing.

'I'd say I was sorry about ripping your dress, and really I am because it was such a nice dress, but right now I just can't seem to care.'

'What do you think?' She asked, hearing the trepidation in her voice.

'Shepard, you're beautiful. And the less you wear, the better you look.' He said appreciatively.

'Well you now need to go and get me my clothes.'

'What, can't I have you like this for a little longer?' Garrus pleaded.

'Yes, after you've gotten me my clothes.'

Garrus sighed and walked out. Shepard snuggled herself down in Garrus' sheets and waited for him to return.

**Part three will be coming up soon I promise. Hope you enjoyed, hanks so much to everyone whose reviewed and please keep them coming in.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I really meant to do this sooner but then my body decided being ill was a better plan. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review if you liked it or if you think I can improve.**

**Garrus POV**

Garrus felt lost and confused. He stared in panic as he tried to decide, red or blue, red or blue? Why were there so many of them? What could they all be for? He was pretty sure if he chose wrong there would be consequences.

'EDI?'

'Yes Mr Vakarian?' The computer answered behind him.

'I need some help I think.'

'What do you require assistance with Mr Vakarian?'

'I need… I need clothes. For Shepard.' He cringed slightly as he said it.

'Human females usually wear several layers of clothing, as you can see here.' A generic human shape flashed up in the console area that EDI usually used. 'The bottom layer being called underwear, being fairly generic, with some exceptions and elaborations.'

Various items covered the female in a serious of outfits, including a lacy black piece that Garrus really wouldn't have minded seeing on Shepard. ED talked him through different clothing options, including ones for several different types of weather conditions and many cultural traditions. It was all very perplexing. Turians had normal clothes, armour and dress armour. And there was little difference between them other than the colour.

'What about ones for sleep?' He asked the computer, his mind wandering back to the lace he had just seen. He'd never really dealt with lace before, and certainly hadn't previously thought of it as something sexy. But the thought of Shepard in it was making him feel uncomfortably warm.

'Human usually wear special sleeping clothes called pyjamas, which can take various forms. It is often trousers and a t-shirt, sometimes in a matching set. Some females prefer to wear a night dress or nightie. Historically humans wore night shirts, but this has fallen out of fashion.' Garrus was told.

Special clothes just for sleeping in. Humans really were an odd species. Turians just slept naked, the other clothing choice. Maybe it had been too cold for historical humans to sleep nude, something to do with the climate on Earth?

'Do you know where Shepard keeps her py… py.. her night clothes?'

The word was too strange for Garrus' tongue. It hadn't translated, Turians having no equivalent, and he had really never done well with the language in school. Or any language in school.

'Shepard keeps her clothes in the draws to your left. However I am unable to give you any specifics about the location of her night ware. I suggest you guess.'

'Guess? Real helpful there EDI.'

Silence. Garrus hastily went through every draw of Shepard's that had clothing in, and a few that didn't which he tried not to look in_ too_ closely and headed back to the lift.

'I think that colour will really suit you. Brings out the colour in your eyes.'

Miranda was leaning casually against her door.

'I uh…'

'_Come on brain think damn it.'_ Garrus mentally scolded himself.

'Shepard had a uh wardrobe malfunction. I mean she had an accident. Um spilt something on her dress.' He finished pathetically.

'In your room?'

'Yes.'

'Right.' Miranda smiled. 'I have a report to give her, I'm sure she won't mind me seeing her in a dirty dress.'

She began walking towards the battery door.

'No wait.' Garrus yelled, far _far_ too loudly. 'There's um I…'

'Are you always this bad?' Miranda laughed, but not unkindly.

'No.' He sighed. 'But then I've never done… this with a human before.'

'What is _this_ exactly?'

'No idea.' Admitted Garrus.

He really didn't have a clue, but it was nice, talking to someone about it. A little unusual that it was Miranda, but it still felt nice.

'Well if it helps I don't think that anyone has done this with Shepard before.'

'What do you mean?' He asked, looking for her taken, a human women's take, on what was happening between them

'As far as I can tell, Shepard has never been in a serious long term relationship. I don't think she's ever been in love before. Remember there is very little about Shepard's previous life that I don't know about. Though she probably doesn't need to know about that.' She smiled. 'She is a remarkable women isn't she?'

'I've never met anyone like her.'

'She doesn't believe it mind. But I believe it was worth every credit to bring her back.'

'Well I never thought I'd be indebted to Cerberus, but for that I will always be thankful. I still think you're evil mind.' Garrus' mandibles twitched playfully.

Miranda rolled her eyes.

'So you're not going to be my way of getting Shepard to trust us then?'

'If it helps, she trusts you. Your boss and your company, no way. But she trusts you.'

Miranda stepped back slightly, a look Garrus couldn't place coming across her face. He still wasn't anywhere near as good as reading other humans as he was understand Shepard.

'Thanks Garrus, that means a lot. Anyway, you have a lady waiting for you. Give her this when she has a free minute.'

When Garrus got back into his room, thankfully not being spotted by anyone else, he found Shepard wearing a sheet wrapped around her body, negotiating with EDI.

'Plus, just a little bit, he will never know.' She begged.

'I really cannot do that Commander Shepard, this is Mr Vakarian's room.'

'What's going on in here?'

Garrus put the clothes pile and data pad down on the bed.

'Nothing.' Shepard said, guiltily.

'Commander Shepard was trying to get me to turn the heating down in here.'

'It's really warm. I think I might be melting.' She complained.

'I like it warm. Why are you wearing my sheet?'

'Because you ripped my dress remember.' She replied.

'But there's no one here. It's not like anyone can see you.'

'I needed to talk to EDI.' She explained.

'You covered yourself to talk to EDI?' Garrus asked, perplexed.

'Yes.'

'But she's a computer.' He pointed out.

'So?'

'Humans are strange.' He concluded. 'I got you some things.'

'Some interesting colour combinations you've got there.'

'How was I supposed to know?' He asked.

'You've seen me in my pyjamas before.'

'Yes, but I wasn't really paying attention.'

'Men.' She sighed, shaking her head.

Garrus wasn't really sure what that was a reference to but decided to ignore it when she reached for the pile of clothes. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him.

'I was really hoping that we wouldn't get back to the clothes yet.' He whispered in her ear.

He felt her shiver slightly, before she managed to compose herself.

'Well I'm feeling very underdressed with you in all that fancy armour. So either I need to get dressed or…'

'Well it would be un-gentlemanly to let you be the only one under dresses.'

'Very.' She nodded in agreement.

'And I'm not often un-gentlemanly.'

'Never.'

'But…'

She cut across him.

'Damn it Garrus either you get your clothes off or I will price that armour off you myself.'

'Now you're talking.' He growled, but obligingly removed his armour, although he did take just a little longer than usual doing it, taking his visor off last. He preferred to see her without all the statistics that flashed up every time he looked at her.

'Much better.' Shepard said happily.

She laid herself down on his bed, arms bent behind her head and smiled warmly at him. He paused for just a moment, as his mind went back to the other stress reliving moments he had had. True they had been very different to this moment in so many ways, but he could never remember truly wanting, no truly _needing_ someone as he did this human women.

'_Spirits get a grip on yourself.'_ He mentally yelled at himself.

He laid himself down on his side next to her and took in her body properly for the first time. He couldn't believe just how soft she was, how smooth her skin was. Though he could see those strange scars that mirrored the one on her face that ran all across her body.

'That's where they put me back together.' She said as he ran one talon along them.

'They're getting a lot better. Well the ones on your face are.'

'They seem to be. Doctor Chakwas thinks it's a mind over matter thing and it seems to be working. It's strange though, when they rebuilt me, they removed my old scars. It's funny how much a part of you they become.' Her voice sounded so far away.

'I think I will believe that when I see it.' He pointed to the bandaged still wrapped around his face and torso.

'You're still devilishly handsome to me.' She said, moving so that she could run kisses along his bandaged face.

He put his hands back onto his body, again marvelling at the texture of him skin. He let his hands explore her waists before moving up to her breasts. He had read that, while their primary function was for feeding their young, women often liked them to be touched, though gently. Or at least gentle by Turian standards. He liked the soft moan that she let out as began stroking them with his fingers. But he kept being distracted by those kisses across his face, the way her fingers flittered across his chest. Especially as those hands were moving purposefully down his body, to that oh so sensitive spot between two plates. She'd clearly done her research as she knew just how to reveal his manhood. Garrus knew about human competition in regards to their size, you couldn't be around a group of human males for long before coming across that one, so he couldn't help feeling a little satisfaction in the momentary surprise registering on Shepard's face. In fact he blatantly enjoyed the way her eyes noticeably widened when she saw his full extent.

Gingerly at first, but with growing confidence, she moved her along the length of his shaft. It took him a few moments to get used to the feeling of all those little fingers, but pleasure soon took over any feelings of apprehension. She moved him onto his back, and positioned herself between his legs, resting on her knees. Another human male preoccupation that was evident even to a Turian was breasts. Be they Asari or Human, men just couldn't seem to get enough of them. Garrus had never understood this, but he was beginning to come round to their opinion. They were just so soft. He had never felt anything that felt just so _nice_. Plus they looked damn hot. She looked damn hot. And she was very very good with her hands. Warmth was spreading through his stomach and the waves of pleasure were getting closer together.

Shepard smirked at him, clearly enjoying the results of her efforts. Then she began to move her mouth lower. Garrus froze.

'Shepard, what are you doing?' He spluttered.

This just made her grin more, but she paused in her descent and looked deep into his eyes.

'Do you trust me?' She asked, her voice like honey.

Even though he was nervous that she was going to do something that involved her teeth in places he really didn't feel they had any place, what other answer could he give her but yes. Completely. With his life. He nodded and closed his eyes. Then he opened them again.

'Spirits.' He gasped.

He had no idea what she was doing down there but it felt incredible. He was pretty sure this is what she had meant earlier about human tongues having many uses. Her mouth was just too warm and wet, the pleasure was just too intense, he felt later that he did pretty well in managing to last as long as he did. He arched up into her mouth and found his release. His body felt more satisfied that it had in months.

'That was fucking amazing Shepard.' He managed when his body finally relaxed.

'Good.'

'Now. I think it's your turn.' Garrus said, grabbing her roughly and flipping her so she was lying on her back.

He resumed his position on his side next to her and moved his hands to between her legs, thankful that he'd also done the appropriate research. He placed his thumb onto her clit and began moving in slow circles. He loved the way she arched her hips slightly, the way she bit on her bottom lip and the soft moans that escaped from her lips.

'You're so beautiful.' He whispered to her. And she truly was.

Shepard gasped as he slipped one, carefully blunted, talon inside of her. He was surprised by how warm so was, and how gloriously wet. His mind spun on the thought of what it would be like to have his cock inside her and he let out a growl. Her breathing became shallower as she neared her orgasm.

'Faster.' She breathed and he gladly obeyed.

He was amazed at the feeling of her tightening around his talon as she climaxed, and again his mind flew at how it would feel with himself fully sheathed inside her. He watched as her breathing returned to normal, her eyes closed, her smile wide.

'I love you.' Garrus said, completely in awe of the amazing women lying next to him. Then he paused before adding, 'Elizabeth.'

Shepard gazed up at him.

'You've never called me that before.'

'Well I thought, if we're doing this, I really shouldn't call you by your last name. At least not when it's just us. When we're around the others I will still call you Shepard. If you don't mind.'

'No, that would be nice. It will be a little strange at first, seeing as only my parents call my Elizabeth these days. Well Lizzy.'

'Lizzy?' Garrus asked.

'Yeah, It's just shorter.'

'Lizzy.' Garrus tried it out.

He liked the way it sounded, and it hadn't taken him several tries to get it right so he felt that was a good sign. Garrus wrapped his arms tightly around her, and watched her drift off to sleep. A part of him couldn't believe that this was happening, he couldn't see anything that he'd done in his life that could mean he deserved the women lying in his arms. He couldn't believe that he was doing this with Shepard, that she needed him like he needed her. Now that he had the benefit of hindsight, as humans said, he could see just how quickly his feeling for Shepard had become more than respect. He couldn't pinpoint a time when it had happened of course, but it had happened a lot sooner than he had ever realised.

How he was _ever_ going to explain this to his family he didn't know. They just wouldn't understand how he could love a human. Truth be told he wasn't quite sure how it had really happened but he was glad that it had. And that's what he was going with. He'd always felt like a bad Turian, and maybe this proved it. But he knew that if he gave up on this because of an interspecies thing then he would be kicking himself for the rest of his life. The point was that it just felt so right. Garrus feel asleep, feeling the rightness of it all.

'No no no!'

'Shepard. Commander.' Garrus shook her violently as she thrashed against him.

Shepard sat up suddenly and shoved him so hard he toppled off the bed.

'What, I… Garrus?'

Shepard looked over the edge of the bed to see the Turian sprawled across the floor.

'Ok firstly are you alright, secondly Ow!' Garrus said, pulling himself off the floor.

'How did you end up down there?' Shepard asked, in genuine confusion.

'You threw me onto the floor. I was trying to wake you, you were screaming your head off. And then you sat up and pushed me away.'

'Oh Lord Garrus I'm sorry.' Shepard groaned and put her face in her hands.

Garrus scooped her up and held him close to her.

'How long has this been happening.' He asked.

'A while.' Shepard admitted.

'Are these nightmares?'

'Yeah.'

'Are you doing anything about it?' He was worried.

'No.'

'Are we going to talk in words that have more than one syllable?'

'Maybe.' She laughed.

'You really should talk to Doctor Chakwas about this.'

'I know. It's just. Hard. You did look so silly on the floor like that.'

Shepard started giggling and he really didn't mind that it was at him, just to see her smile.

'You know that I'm going to get horribly protective of you from now on right?' He said, feeling the tension in his chest ease slightly.

'Oh no, outside the bedroom I'm very much your commander. Possibly sometimes in the bedroom too.' She winked. 'What time is it?'

'It's five, Earth Standard.' Garrus said, checking his omni–tool.

'I managed nearly four hours. That's pretty good for me. I should get back to my room. Don't really want the crew to see me sneaking out now do I.'

She grabbed a few of the clothes Garrus had brought her and pulled them on.

'I look ridiculous you know.'

'You look beautiful.' Garrus said. 'Oh I may have been caught sneaking in. Miranda gave me that data pad for you to read. So that means you can come back to bed yes?'

'Well it wasn't the best kept secret anyway. But no, I still think I should go back to my room.'

She leant forward and ran a few kisses along his fringe.

'Don't go.' He growled, trying to pull her closer to him. But she was gone.

'I will see you in a few hours.' She called as she left the room.

Garrus lay for a few minutes in the cool space next to him where she had just been. The he called out.

'EDI.' He said.

'Yes Mr Vakarian?' The computer replied instantly. Garrus tried not to think of her being present to their actions the previous night.

'How long have Shepard's nightmares been going on.'

'Commander Shepard has been experiencing nightmares since she bordered the Normandy. Reports suggest that she has frequently had difficulties with her sleep in the past. However I have also noted that the amount of sleep she is managing to have is lessoning, and the frequency of the nightmares are increasing. I have alerted this information to Doctor Chakwas but Shepard has thus far refused all attempts of assistance in this area.'

'Thanks EDI.'

Garrus turned over, planning to get a few more hours of sleep. But as soon as he woke, he planned to see Doctor Chakwas and talk to her about Shepard.

'_I really am going to become unbearable._' He muttered to himself before falling back to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed. It means so much to me. Also thanks to everyone who let me know I had got the chapters a bit confused when I was touching up some spelling errors. I appreciate it. As ever I hope you enjoy! **

**Garrus POV**

'Look Garrus, I'm as worried about her as you are but if she won't let me help her there really isn't much I can do. This is emotional, not physical, and that's something that's much harder for people to admit. Especially people like Shepard. And you.' Dr Chakwas gave him a look.

'I'm fine.' Garrus replied automatically.

'Funny that's exactly what Shepard says every time I see her.'

'Yes but I really am fine.' He insisted.

'The similarities just keep on coming.'

This was not what Garrus had come here for and was getting more than a little irritated by her lack of helpfulness.

'Look Doctor..' He began but was cut off.

'No you look Garrus. I'm as worried about Shepard as you are. Most of the crew are in all honestly. We can all see the tiredness and the stress this is giving her. But I'm also worried about you. If it were up to me I'd send you both off for intensive psychotherapy. Hell I'd send half the crew here for that. We have all see too much. Far more than anyone should. But you and Shepard both need to be so invulnerable all the time. It's damned difficult.' She sighed. 'But you're right. She has had much much more than anyone could deal with. Probably more than _anyone_ has ever dealt with seeing as I don't think that anyone has come back from the dead before. But there isn't anything I can do about that except be there for her when she finally wants my help. Any Kelly has tried too with no luck either. But I also extend my help to you as well. If ever you want to talk I'm here.'

'Thanks Doctor Chakwas.' Garrus stood up and turned to leave.

'Not so fast. I also wanted to talk to you about your relationship with Shepard.'

Garrus was instantly on his guard but he sat down to face the doctor again.

'Now I'm not going to lecture you about the insanity of this relationship. And believe me it is. But at the same time I can appreciate that you both need a little peace. So I'm just going to ignore it. But for God's sake be careful with her Garrus.'

'Urrrr.' Garrus really didn't know how to respond to that, or really even what she meant.

'You know what I mean. I studied Turian mating and know that even with your well armoured bodies injuries happen.'

'I would never hurt Shepard.' Garrus protested earnestly.

The doctors eyes softened a bit at his reaction, seeing the clear sincerity radiating from him.

'I know Garrus. And I don't doubt you. But accidents can happen, especially in the heat of the moment. Turians are well known for loosing rationality when it comes to sex, just like humans. So just try and be careful.'

'I will, don't worry.' Garrus assured her.

'You really care for her don't you.'

It wasn't a question but Garrus nodded anyway.

'Look after her Garrus.' She said quietly to him.

Garrus stood up again and this time he wasn't stopped.

'Oh and if you can get her to talk to you then all the better.' She called as he walked back into his room.

Garrus sat down on his bed and sighed deeply. Chakwas was right Shepard had been through more than any person ever had. While he never forgot that she had died, that was a time he would never ever be able to forget, sometime he forgot just what it must feel like to be the one who had to go through that. And to have no one to relate to. Well if Shepard wasn't going to talk to someone professional she'd just have to deal with talking to him.

'You really do keep this room very hot don't you?' A voice from the shadows.

Garrus jumped up and turned around, already knowing who the disembodied voice came from, even if he wasn't quite sure where it was coming from. The small figure quickly materialised into view, slightly to the left of where he'd been looking.

'Pretty good. Most people don't pinpoint me anywhere nearly as well.' Kasumi said.

'How do you do it so that you're even clocked to my visor?' He asked.

'Now that would be telling.' She grinned wickedly at him.

'Fine how about what are you doing in my room?' He challenged.

'I just thought I'd come and see you have a quick chat.'

She pulled the chair from his far too small desk and placed it, and herself, in front of him.

'It's strange for you to be out of your room. No forget that, it's strange for you to be out of your room and let yourself be seen.' Garrus noted, his mandibles twitching in mild amusement.

'Very observant.'

'So let me guess, you want to talk about Shepard yes?' He sighed. He had the feeling that this was going to become an increasingly common topic of conversation.

'Possibly. I was just doing a little job for Shepard and you came in.'

'What? What were you doing for Shepard?'

'_What were you doing for Shepard that she couldn't do or ask me herself?_' He added to himself.

Kasumi just shrugged.

'I have a little bet I have with Joker. Who can get the most gossip on you two, him through his network of camera, or EDI's network anyway, and me like this.'

'What, what does this have to do with Shepard? And what the Hell have you been telling Joker?'

'Oh don't get your mandibles in a twitch. I don't tell him what I know, that would ruin the fun. This is a game. We are basically getting him back for watching everyone else. You should see some of the things Joker see's through his cameras.' Kasumi waggled her eyebrows to make sure Garrus got the hint. 'Before the bet Shepard got me and Tali to put a block on his cameras here, the main battery and her room. Basically anywhere you guys can get down and dirty. Joker was livid but EDI won't change it or tell him who did it. And it was a pretty big bet too. We're making him sweat.'

'Shepard knows about your little bet with Joker?'

'It was her idea. The whole things just a big practical joke.' Kasumi laughed.

'So Shepard knows you're in here.'

Garrus didn't like this idea. He couldn't see Shepard giving Kasumi permission to go through his room.

'Yes but on pain of death I had to swear to just standing in the corner while you were out for a little bit. Joker can see that I came in here and he will assume I've found some gossip. I've already done it in her room.' She explained.

'So you didn't go through my things?'

'Oh do you have something to hide? I may be a thief Garrus, but I do have some honour.'

She seemed almost insulted. Almost.

'What's that human saying, no honour among thieves?'

'We just have a bad reputation.'

'Right.' Garrus drawled. 'So how long do we have to sit here?'

'Well I have to stay pretty much until you've gone. As clearly I'm standing cloaked in a corner right now, so you don't notice the doors magically opening by themselves. Probably only about five more minutes. Just enough time for a little chat.' She flashed another one of her wicked grins at him.

'Shepard?' He asked.

'Well last night I just happened to see you carrying a pile her of clothes into this room, and then her walking back out again in some of those clothes.'

'Kasumi do you ever sleep?' Garrus interjected.

'I've learnt to sleep pretty much anywhere. Including standing up. But the point I was trying to make is that I also saw Shepard carrying a tattered green silk dress with the other clothes. A silk dress I took pains to find for her. Now to my untrained eye they looked very much like talon rips. Do you have anything to say on the matter?'

'Did you pay for it yourself?' He ventured.

'Don't be absurd! But the point is that it took me a long time to find a dress so suitable for her and a few hours later you'd ripped it to shreds. So, as retribution for my wasted effort, what happened last night?'

'Oh no, I'm not going to tell you anything.'

'Last chance.' She said sternly.

'Nothing.'

'Fine.' She stood up. 'But don't say I didn't give you a chance or fair warning. The game, Mr Vakarian, is on.'

With that pulled him up and pushed him towards the door.

'I could just not leave you know.' He pointed out to her.

She gave him a look and he left.

Over the next few days Garrus tried to get Shepard to open up about her feeling but they didn't have much time together. Shepard had landed in Tuchanka to find Mordin's assistant and to see what the Hell was going wrong with Grunt as he had started to tear up the engineering deck. Garrus and Tali had accompanied the group to the surface to see Wrex.

'It's good to see Shepard again. Liara had told me that she was alive.' Wrex told them after the others had gone to fine Mordin's assistant.

'I didn't know you two were still in contact.' Tali said, surprised.

'Not really. We have messaged each other a few times, usually when one or the other of us need information. But she reckoned I'd want to know that she was back. Seeing as I was the only on not to know.' He added pointedly.

Tali and Garrus shifted their feet awkwardly.

'But she's back now and that's what matters. How's the new Normandy Tali?'

'Better than ever. Say what you like about Cerberus, and believe me, we do, but they know how to build a ship. Even if it does have a damned AI.'

Wrex chuckled.

'Bet that's winding you up no end. And you Garrus? It's good to see you again too. It wasn't good when you took off like that. You seem more world weary now. Less of that youngster who couldn't believe that Krogan could be civilised.'

Garrus looked down at his hands. He wasn't the same young C-Sec officer now who wanted to change the world.

'I had it rough for a while. But things are getting easier now Shepard's back.' He said, not wanting to explain the details.

'Plus,' said Tali, who must have been grinning from ear to ear under her helmet, 'the two of them have finally realised what they mean to each other.'

'Damn, knew I should have kept my bet open.' Wrex laughed.

'Bet, what bet?' Asked Garrus, very confused.

'I'll tell you later. But it didn't even take me spelling it out to them or anything. They found it through the traditional near death and jealousy route.'

'Is there any chance we could not talk about this?' Garrus sighed, rubbing the back on his neck in irritation.

'Hey I got an idea for you Garrus. Go shoot some pyjacks, that will make you feel better.'

So Garrus had an afternoon of shooting things which did make him feel less stressed.

'Are you going to stay and shoot those things all night Garrus?' Shepard asked when they got back from the mission.

'Probably not. But I might come back tomorrow while you guys are completing Grunt's puberty thing. I still think girls in Omega is a better plan.'

'I was actually thinking that you and I would be Grunt's krantt.'

'Nah, Jack's already called that spot.' Garrus said.

'Does anyone actually care that I'm in charge here?' Shepard was exasperated.

'I actually thought that it was good personal growth for Jack, wanting to help a friend out and all that.'

'I'm not sure that this is the right sort of personal growth here Garrus. This is helping a very violent friend kill things.' Shepard pointed out.

'True. Hadn't thought of it like that.' Garrus agreed.

'So you coming back to the ship now then?' She asked, turning away.

'In a few minutes, it's a good way of keeping my skills sharp.'

Shepard forced her way between the gun and Garrus.

'How about you come back now and we have a go sharpening some of your other skills?'

Her voice was like honey and she was giving him that smile again, meaning that he was unable to resist. Not that he wanted to resist mind, but if some part of him had felt that he should turn her down, no part of him would have been able to.

'That sounds good.' He growled.

'Good. Shall we.'

She held out her hand and Garrus took it gentle in his, his talons wrapping around all her fingers. The walked like that back to the ship, stopping only to make sure Grunt was alright. He was staying on Tuchanka that night to learn more about the clan's history from Wrex. The old Krogan laughed when he saw the two of them together, but nodded in encouragement to them both.

'That is not right.' Muttered Grunt when he saw them.

'Don't talk about things that you don't understand whelp.' Wrex said back, clicking the back of the young Krogan's head with this hand.

Grunt mumbled a few things but was silenced.

'Clearly personal growth is happening everywhere.' Observed Shepard.

**Shepard POV**

The debriefing was a lot shorter than usual but no one commentated.

'Go up to my room,' She whispered quietly to Garrus, 'I will be there in a minute. I just need to speak to Mordin. Make sure he's ok.'

After she was convinced that the professor was alright, which took a lot less time than she had anticipated, she made her way to the elevator. Kasumi was already inside when the doors opened, and as the thief came out she gave Shepard a knowing wink. Shepard wasn't sure if this was to do with their plan in winding Joker up or just a general comment on her proposed activities for the evening. She smiled back at the women anyway and punched in the button to go to her quarters. Garrus was already settled on her bed when she arrived, under her blanket. She noticed with pleasure that all his armour had been removed before he got into her bed and was no neatly piled in a corner.

'I could get used to this, stressful day at work, coming home to find a naked Turian in my bed.' She sighed happily.

'Does the identity of the Turian matter at all or is this just any naked Turians?' He joked.

'Hummm I'll get back to you on that one. If it helps I'm very happy with the one who turned up today.' She smiled.

'I aim to please.'

She loved his voice, that was one of the few things she remembered liking first. Garrus had seemed young and eager to learn, and she always liked someone who seemed interested in what she said, and that was partly what kept her stationed near the Mako for most of her time in the old Normandy. But she had been pretty hypnotised by his voice too, and a part of her kept going back simply to listen to him talking to her in that voice. Now of course, her fascination went so much deeper. The way he whispered things to her made her heart stutter, the way he growled made her skin shiver, as well as turning her on to the point where she could hardly breathe.

Slowly she began undressing for him, loving the way his eyes watched her every movement in fascination.

'You really are beautiful Lizzy.' Garrus purred.

'I aim to please.' She said, copying his earlier remark.

She got in under the covers and placed herself in his arms, marvelling at how well the seemed to fit together considering just how different they were.

'You have no idea how many people have been asking me about us today.' Garrus said, pulling her in tighter to him.

'Really? I didn't have anyone. Guess they don't want me to get angry with them or something.'

'Well you are you know… you.'

'And what's that supposed to mean?' She asked, pretending to be indignant.

'Well you are fierce sometimes. And that's good. I've served under a few Commanders who were just friendly with their squad. It meant that they didn't respect them, on or off the battle field. You don't seem to have that problem.'

'I'm friendly with my squad.' She protested.

'Yeah but that doesn't mean that they don't respect you, and you'd give any of us Hell if you needed to.'

She inclined her head slightly, knowing he was right.

'I think it's an Alliance thing. Very strict boundaries and rules between all members of the team. It creates a good level of respect.'

'So they wouldn't be too thrilled with this then.'

'Probably not. But even though there were strict rules, it still happened, a lot. Humans need that connection, that release, just like Turians.'

'Did it ever happen to you?' He asked, attempting to be casual but he couldn't hide the slight shift in his mandibles, betraying his, what? Nerves, tension?

'Are we really going to do this Garrus?' She smiled.

'Hey I told you mine.'

'One of yours.' She added.

'Ok yes one of mine.' He conceded.

'Yes, I have been known to bend that particular Alliance rule occasionally.' She admitted.

'None of them come to mind?'

'I'm going to say this one. Seriously Garrus, there isn't much to tell there. Nothing meaningful. Nothing compared to this.'

'That… that means a lot to me.' He sighed, playing with a piece of her hair. He was quiet for a moment, before asking in a rush, 'I have to ask Shepard, why did you pick me?'

'What?'

'Why me? You could have had anyone in the whole galaxy, why did you pick me.' He ran one hand down her body, making her shiver.

'Why not you Garrus. You're kind, you're strong, you have my back whenever I need it. Not to mention the fact that you're voice constantly has me in shivers and I spent most of the time I'm around you flitting between a giggling twelve year old girl and a ranging nymphomaniac just trying to remember how to breathe. Plus I've spent most of the time that I've known you trying to work out how to get you into bed with me. I love you Garrus.'

Garrus just stared at her after she had spoken.

'Wow. Don't think I've ever seen you speechless before.' Shepard smiled.

'I… I just… ok.' He managed.

'Ok?' She asked.

'Ok.' He nodded, breathing deeply. He picked up his visor from the bed side table and glanced at it. 'Is a nymphomaniac really what this thing is telling me?'

'Probably.' She grinned at him.

'Good to know.' He drawled.

Shepard laughed but a slight hesitation spread through her stomach.

'Why me?' She asked eventually, not quite manage to look him in the eye.

'I'm sorry what? You're asking why you? How on Palaven can you ask me _why you_?'

'Well you got to ask.' She said, feeling it was only fair. 'I'm just some human.'

'Some Human? Just some Human… you're Shepard for spirits sake.' He seemed completely lost for words at this point. 'I've watched you, I watched you bring down Sovereign, I've watched you calm down a horde of angry biotics, I've watched you reign down fiery justice and I've watched you manage to keep you're humanity, you're dignity and you're faith in people throughout. Shepard, you're one Hell of a woman. No one could not want you, most of the Normandy's various crews have wanted you. And yet here you lay, asking how I could want you. Possibly one of the most ridiculous questions ever asked.'

It was Shepard's turn to be speechless. She laced her fingers between his as best as she was able.

'So what happens next?' He asked her.

'Oh you know, I rid the world of all evil, announce myself as overlord of the galaxy and enslave everyone as my personal pets and play things?'

'Well before all that wonderful sounding stuff happens I meant what would happen next with us.' Garrus clarified, pretending to be stern.

'I know. I was skilfully avoiding the question.'

'And I marvel at you're skill in that area. Though I have to ask, if you enslaved everyone as you're play things, would this mean the canine/ feline equivalent my visor is telling me about or you know, play things.' He said, giving her a look.

Shepard winked.

'Urgh, not a thought I really needed there Lizzy.'

'We'll take it as it comes, with some fun experimenting along the way. Though I think that you were right to suggest we leave the uh final act for that calm before the storm moment.'

'So if it all goes wrong we will welcome the very small odds of survival our collector mission gives.' He joked.

'That's the one.'

'Now you mentioned something about my learning new skills. Just so you know I am ready and eager for further instructions.' He saluted.

She gave him a shove then in one fluid movement, positioned herself onto his lap and rested against his slightly bent knees, which were raised to protect his spurs.

'Keep that up and you won't be getting anything tonight.' She scolded.

'Oh won't I?' He growled, grapping her by the hips and forcing her onto her back.

Her heart hammered against her chest as he pressed himself against her, running his tongue along her neck. To get a better position, Garrus grabbed her right leg an moved it so that her knee was bent. She could feel his plates pressing against her heat, though he wasn't showing yet. She had learnt that female Turian's had a slight groove that would rub against her partner's sensitive spot to get him aroused. She was grateful she had very flexible fingers.

Even though she had, only minutes before, agreed with his suggestion that they wait for that last moment before they had sex, right now all she wanted was to have him inside her. She raised her other knee and positioned both her feet on his back, wrapping her legs around him.

'I thought you wanted to wait.' He whispered.

'I did.'

'And now?'

'I don't.'

He pulled back slightly, pushing himself up on his arms so he could look her in the eye. She couldn't help marvelling at how beautifully blue they were. The force of her gaze seemed to catch him off guard and his breathing increased sharply.

'Careful Shepard.' His voice low.

She used the distraction to wrap her hands through his fringe, letting her finger's trace the miniature plates that formed it. His replying growl was harsh and full of wanting. Shepard also knew that Turian males really needed to be the ones in control during sex, it was inbuilt. And the more a female pushed her own dominance, the more aroused, and often more violent, a male would get. Shepard knew that their relationship would always be a battle for control, and it thrilled her. She pressed her lips to his mouth and was surprised to feel his tongue pushing against her closed lips. She felt her stomach flip as she felt his leathery tongue caress her own.

Shepard moaned and he ran one of his hands across her body, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs. With the memory of his tongue still in her mouth she unlocked her legs and began to push on his shoulders gently, showing him where she wanted him to go. Understanding what she wanted, Garrus moved next to her and slipped one talon into her centre. Shepard enjoyed the feeling for a few moments before shaving her head.

'You're mouth.' She managed to whisper.

Garrus looked around.

'I uh don't think I can um get into a good position….here.' Garrus mumbled, embarrassed.

She looked at him, then at the floor. Once settled, Garrus gently took hold of one of Shepard's thighs and began tracing his teeth along it. Shepard could hardly breathe as Garrus slowly moved his head between her legs and run his tongue along her clit. The feeling was so different to when Humans had gone down on her but the pleasure flooding throughout her body was irrefutable. She dug her nails into the carpet and bit her lip so that she wouldn't yell, trying desperately to stifle her moans. Garrus drew back for a minute.

'I want to hear you.' He commanded before taking her into his mouth again.

Shepard moaned and could feel herself coming so close to her orgasm.

'Oh God Garrus.' She breathed, arching her hips.

He started pounding her with one of her talons, so hard the pain pleasure boundaries became blurred. It would too much for her and she gasped and shuddered as her orgasm pulsed through her.

He moved to his side next to her, laying one hand on her stomach.

'So how do you find my skills?' He asked, Mandibles twitching with amusement. He clearly already knew the answer.

Shepard couldn't think of anything witty to say, her mind still floating on a sea of pure bliss and unable to work coherently.

'Mmm mm.' Was all she could manage.

'Glad to hear it. I rather like having the famous Commander Shepard rendered unable to speak because of my talents.'

Shepard couldn't just leave that one, and forced her brain to work.

'Well, I can get the infamous Archangel to be just as incoherent.'

'Oh really?' His voice was cool but the excited twitching of his mandibles gave him away.

Relishing the challenge, Shepard sat up and run her fingernails across his chest, watching the faint lines that appeared as she did so. After taking her own sweet time on his chest, she moved down and ran her lips across the spot between his plates, enjoying the tensing of his legs as she did so. A part of her still couldn't get over quite how _big_ he was. It excited, and slightly frightened her, when she thought of him inside her. Though the more she thought about it, the more she veered towards excited. She leant forward, taking in as much of him as she could into her mouth, and felt and well as head the growl that ripples through his chest. It was the most intoxicating sound she had ever heard. She put one hand round the base of his cock and put the other on the floor to steady herself. Feeling that slight pain would probably do as much for him as it did for her, she raked her teeth along her shaft. She heard him hiss for a moment and paused, waiting to see if he objected.

'Again.' He gasped.

And she obliged, working him with her hand and her mouth until he climaxed. She looked up at him and smiled.

'And?' She smiled.

'Spirits.' He groaned.

'Good.' She said, clearly pleased.

They lay there together, in silence for some time.

'I was more coherent than you.' Garrus mumbled eventually.

'Shush.' Shepard said sleepily.

'What's happening tomorrow?' He asked after more time had passed.

'Stuff. Killing things. Then more of this.'

'Sounds good.' He said, pulling her closer to him.

'Sleep now.'

'Night love.'

Shepard grunted in response.

**Garrus POV**

Garrus wished that these moments could last longer. But every moment spent here only brought them closer to their inevitable end. He just couldn't see how any of them would survive a direct assault on the collector ship. And even if they did, there would be worse things to come. He couldn't sleep so quietly got up and left the room. When he got to the lift he asked EDI to tell her that he couldn't sleep when she woke up. He didn't want her to feel that he had abandoned her. He went down to the engineering floor, vaguely thinking of annoying Kasumi some more.

'Oh come on, you can't be that lucky.' He heard a voice say as soon as he exited the lift. Intrigued he followed the sound to find the three engineers huddled round a table playing cards. A large pile of chips were next to Tali, who was protesting her innocence. She turned when she saw him come in.

'Garrus, it's good to see you.'

'Can I deal you in?' Asked Ken, clearly eager for support against Tali's onslaught.

'I'm not sure that the Commander would approve of gambling on the ship.' He said. She was alliance after all, they had rules about such things.

'She's even worse than Tali.' Muttered Ken darkly. 'Pretending she hadn't played for years. I lost nearly three hundred credits. To her in one night.'

'I lost nearly as much, only Tali managed to break even.' Said gabby at his side. She turned to Garrus 'So what can we do for you this evening?'

'Morning.' He corrected.

'Bugger, so it is.' She said, looking at her omni-tool.

'So why are you down here so late. Or possibly early?' Tali asked him. 'Couldn't sleep or something?'

'Not really.'

'Is Shepard asleep?' She asked innocently.

'Yeah I just left her upstairs.' He said, before thinking about what he was saying. His mandibles flared in embarrassment. 'I uh, I mean umm..'

'Everybody knows.' Gabby said waiving a hand at him. 'Come one Tali, it's your call.'

'Everyone?' He asked.

'Mostly everyone.' Tali corrected, amusement in her voice. 'Just one notable exception really. Poor Kasumi.'

'What? She already knows.' Garrus said. '_Is there anything that women doesn't know?'_

'Of course _she_ does.' Explained Tali, playing some more chips into the middle. 'But the guy she has eyes for doesn't.'

'Who?' Asked Ken and Garrus simultaneously.

'Men!' Exclaimed Gabby. 'Hopeless. Whatever species, just hopeless. Well figure it out for yourselves.'

Ken threw his cards down dramatically.

'You win again Tali. Somehow I'm going to find out how you're doing this. I'm off to bed.'

'Me too.' Gabby yawned.

When Garrus and Tali were left alone, she turned to him.

'So how are things going with you two.'

'Why is everyone so interested in this.' He said, exasperated.

'Everyone is because it's a small ship and gossip is necessary. I am because you two are the closest I have ever been with anyone.'

'Alright, forgiven.' He conceded. 'It's good. So far. We haven't really had much of a chance to talk yet.'

Tali coughed slightly.

'Been busy doing other things?'

Garrus didn't even have to look round this time, but Tali jumped.

'We mustn't keep running into each other like this, people will talk.' He said cooly.

'Oh people are talking alright.' Said Kasumi, taking Gabby's vacated seat. 'But strangely I'm not the topic of conversation.'

'How long have you been there?' Tali demanded.

'I followed Garrus in, couldn't miss out on any gossip now could I?. Thanks for mentioning me be the way, I _really _appreciate it.' She said, glaring at the Quarian.

'I'm sure you'll live.' Tali replied, sarcastically.

Garrus had no idea that the two of them had become so close. Tali hardly spoke to anyone outside engineering and even with Shepard it had taken her a long time for the girl to get so comfortable around her.

'So who doesn't know about us?' Garrus asked, curious despite himself.

Kasumi rolled her eyes.

'Jacob. He's too busy hoping for something more between himself and the Commander to notice any _unusual_ behaviour on her part.'

Garrus couldn't help his anger rising slightly. Sure he knew about Jacob's little crush for Shepard, he had made that pretty clear from the start and Shepard was obviously not interested but it still annoyed him.

'And there's Thane of course.' Kasumi added.

This snapped Garrus back to the conversation. He still felt a lot less secure on that front, Shepard still spent too much time with the Drell, and he hated the way he looked at her.

'Thane?' He asked, trying to sound casual.

'Yep.' Said Kasumi. 'He knows about the two of you but I'm pretty sure he still likes his chances.'

Garrus' hand drifted automatically to the pistol he always carried with him.

'Easy there Garrus.' Tali cautioned, laying a hand on his arm. 'You and Shepard are well, you and Shepard. Meant to be.'

He grunted.

'Kasumi, could you leave the two of us alone for a minute. Actually alone.' She said, sternly.

'Fine fine, though I expect a full report.' She winked and left the room.

'I never know if she's actually gone or not.' Said Tali. 'Look don't let her wind you up. She's just pushing you for a reaction.'

'Then she knows where to push.'

'Thane?' She asked.

'Yeah.'

'Want to talk about it?'

'No.'

'Alright. But you and Shepard are good yes?' She pushed.

'Yeah.' He relaxed slightly. 'Been… busy as Kasumi says, figuring things out.'

'I don't need details.' Tali said, clearly embarrassed.

'But we're taking things slow. How anyone outside the Normandy will react I don't know. I'm pretty sure a lot of people in the Normandy don't like it much.'

'A few.' Tali admitted. 'But most think that it's either a long time coming or don't care. Some are pretty pissed that you got there first.'

'I'll bet.' He laughed.

'And other are pretty pissed that she got there first.'

'Wait, what?' Garrus asked, confused.

'Men.' Tali laughed and shook her head and wouldn't elaborate further.

Eventually Garrus got up and headed back to the main battery. He was exhausted but happy. And couldn't wait for another day of shooting tomorrow.

**Tali POV**

Tali watched Garrus leave. She was glad that Shepard and Garrus had found each other eventually. They were perfect for each other, and clearly both needed some peace.

And yet.

And yet. Tali Sighed and went to bed.

**I hope you liked, please do review to let me know anythoughts!**


	11. Chapter 11

**So this is the last update until I've played ME3. I'm currently desperately avoiding spoilers as being in Britain, we don't get the game until the 9th. *Mutter mutter mutter*.**

**Hope you enjoy and see you all on the other side.**

**Garrus POV**

Shepard was grinning from ear to ear when she, Jack and Grunt returned.

'Good day?' He asked, as Wrex came over to talk to them.

'Wicked.' She laughed.

'Fucking brilliant.' Laughed Jack.

'You brought down the thresher Maw. Impressive young Grunt. Though having Shepard in your Krantt cannot have hurt.' Wrex said.

'She is an excellent battle master and chooses excellent enemies.' Replied Grunt.

Garrus was surprised at how genuine and courteous he sounded. It was true, meeting Wrex had taught him a short and necessary lesson about Krogan. Before Wrex he, like most Turians, had thought that they were little more than animals. Wrex had shown him how much deeper they went. But the youngster really had seemed to match the stereotype so well, but the respect that Grunt appeared to have for Shepard forced Garrus to give that particular species another concession.

Garrus couldn't help but remember ashamedly his views on other races before meeting Shepard. He had never thought of himself as particularly racist, just… superior. All Turians felt it. It was true that they respected the Asari and the Salarians and had a useful working relationship with the Volus, but they still viewed themselves as morally superior. Humans had been dismissed as pretentious little upstarts who were throwing their weight around. It was true that some, abet very grudging and very little, respect had been earned by their defence in the First Contact Wars. But still, they were nothing but children. The Quarians were just beggars and thieves who had caused all the problems by creating the Geth. As for things like Vorcha, well, in all honesty his opinion of them hadn't really changed much.

But being with the Normandy, fighting alongside all the others, had made him realise just how wrong he had been about so many of them. He had been amazed at first at Shepard's willingness to bring himself and the other species along with her, and amazed at the Alliance letting her. He couldn't think of many Turian Commanders who would so willingly work with other species like she was. Through now of course he knew her willingness to 'work' with other species knew no bounds. Garrus chuckled at that last thought.

'I need to get back to the Normandy and have a nice long shower.' Shepard announced, wiping blood from her face.

'A nice long fuck you mean.' Jack said.

'Maybe.' A smile played on Shepard's mouth.

'You're fucking sick Shepard.' She looked at Garrus. 'That's just weird. And I've done some fucked up shit in my time.'

Garrus felt his mandibles twitch in shock and embarrassment at Jack's comment. No one but Shepard noticed it, though he knew she wouldn't let him get away with it. Well he wasn't going to admit defeat just yet. He was a Turian after all. He turned to Jack.

'I'm sure we could make it weirder. Would you like to join us?'

The torrent of abuse came quickly but just for one moment, she looked so shocked, and he would treasure that look for a while.

'Weirder than Jack eh? Who'd have thought it.' Mused Shepard as they traveled back to her room.

'We should defiantly win an award for that.' He agreed.

'What would you have done if she'd said yes?' Shepard laughed.

'Had one Hell of a time probably.' Garrus replied, not missing a beat.

'Who knew you could be so kinky?'

'So what?' The world hadn't translated and his visor wasn't having much luck.

'I will have to show you some time. Or you could look it up I suppose but may way would be more fun.' She ginned as she stared pulling off her armour.

Garrus growled and pulled her towards him but she wriggled free.

'Oh no, I'm disgusting and smell foul, I need to have a shower.'

'You really know how to get a guy going.' She gave him a withering look. 'Can't I join you?'

'Tempting but no. Lock the door EDI and don't let him in.'

Sadly persuading EDI to unlock the door didn't work so he was left alone in her room. Well apart from the fish. He wasn't quite sure why they were there but Shepard seemed to like them. He pressed the button to release the food and watched them swim around for a little while. He turned to her desk and picked up the picture of the old Normandy crew. He vaguely remembered that picture being taken. It had been after their defeat of Saren and Sovereign at a celebratory party that had been thrown in their honour a few days later. It had been a really beautiful place he remembered but the rest of the night had passed somewhat hazily. He'd remembered waking up on the floor with Ashley using him as a pillow. That had been very awkward. But while most of that evening had passed in a happy drunken blur, one memory still stood out.

**Two years previous**

Garrus was drunk. More drunk than he had been for a long time. He stumbled past Tali who was sitting in a corner, holding a much more inebriated Liara who was weeping noisily into her shoulder. Tali patted her back and made soothing noises, though Garrus was pretty sure that, had her face not been hidden, she would have looked terrified.

'You're so good to me. You're my best friend. Did I ever tell you that?' Liara sobbed.

'There there.' Tali managed. Yep, terrified.

The view swam in front of his eyes. It was so hot in here, too many people, he needed to get out and have some fresh air. He pushed his way through to the door, and had to move as quickly as he could past Wrex who was challenging anyone and everyone to a fight. Thankfully he was, at that moment, too busy to notice Garrus as the Krogan was roundly abusing a chair for being a coward, but Garrus didn't want to take his chances.

'_Clearly not that drunk._' He mumbled to himself and managed to reach the door.

Out on the balcony he drank in the fresh cold air and felt his head clear slightly, though he had to hold on to the railing pretty tightly. He heard the door opening.

'_Damn, can't I get two minutes to myself?'_ He thought angrily.

'I thought I saw you come this way.'

Garrus relaxed. Shepard didn't really count as someone he didn't want to be disturbed by. He turned to face his Commander. She was holding a bottle and swayed slightly as she walked.

'You following me Shepard?'

'I've hardly had a chance to say two words to you all night. So yeah, basically.'

She took a swig out of the bottle and leant on the railing next to him.

'Nice place.' She said, staring out at the sky.

'Yeah.' He agreed.

Neither of them said anything else. It was a little awkward, which was strange as they had fallen into such an easy friendship from the word go.

'I saw Liara on the way out, she's a bit of a mess.' He said after a while.

'Yeah I saw that too.' She laughed. 'Poor Tali, doesn't know what's hit her. I think we're all a bit of a mess. Just the mixture of joy and sadness. We all needed to get fucked.'

'We've certainly done that.'

There was so much he wanted to say to her but he couldn't find the words. Or at least the words without gushing and blubbering all over her in this drunken state. He wanted to tell her that he had learnt so much from her and that he respected her more than he respected any Turian ever.

'It was one Hell of a fight wasn't it Garrus.'

'Defiantly one for the ages. Shame no one was filming it really.'

'I'm glad you were with me.' She said.

'You'd have done fine without me.' He laughed, pushing her slightly.

'No really.' She turned to him, gazing at him with those deep brown eyes.

Garrus was taken aback. She really meant it.

'You have no idea how glad I've been to have you with me Garrus. You've keep me steady, kept me going throughout this. I couldn't have done it without you.'

She lent her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers.

'Um.. I.' He began, not knowing what to say.

It was a profoundly strange moment, standing there, Shepard leaning against him, her small hand wrapped around his. But not bad.

'I'm going to stay on the Normandy.' He blurted out.

'_I am?'_ He thought to himself.

His plan had been to go back to C-Sec, maybe even join the Spectre program. Shepard let go of his hand and looked at him. For a second he felt a slight… emptiness when it was gone.

'Really? I thought you wanted to go back to the Spectre training?' She asked. He couldn't tell what she was feeling. Was she disappointed in him?

'I will, eventually. I just want to travel with you… I mean with the Normandy for a while longer. Not sure I've learnt everything from you yet.'

'Well that's true.' She laughed. 'But you'd better get your ass in there at some point. Or I will be upset.'

'Wouldn't want that Commander.'

**Present**

But she never got to teach him those things. She'd died less than two months later. He felt that old pain well up in his chest. In a funny way, even though she was back, he would never quite get over that feeling, that grief. Still she was back, which was not really something most people could say about their lost loved ones. He thought back to that evening and wondered how he had never realised his feelings for Shepard before.

'Garrus?'

Her voice brought him back from his memories. Shepard was wrapped in a towel, wet strands of hair clinging to her face and neck. He would never get over how beautiful she was.

'What were you thinking about?' She asked, coming over to kiss his neck. 'It must have been important, you didn't hear me the first time I spoke to you.'

He held out the photo to her.

'I was remembering this night.'

'Oh man I was hammered that night. So were you if I recall. I'm surprised you remember any of it.'

'Do you?'

'Little bits.' She smiled.

'I was wondering how I didn't realise sooner that I loved you.'

She smiled at him, such a loving smile that he, what was that word, as yes, melted, at that moment. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, wanted to forget the pain that memories had brought.

'So when did you realise how you felt about me?' She asked, pulling away from him to grab her night clothes.

Garrus let out a small humph to let her know he wasn't quite happy with that.

'I need a rest.'

She quickly got dressed then almost threw herself into her bed. She inclined her head, and after undressing, and a quick protest that this was his night ware and he wasn't just trying to wind her up, he followed her in. Of course, even if he had had something appropriate to wear in bed with her, he wouldn't have, as teasing her was defiantly part of his plan. She snuggled down into his arms and laid her hand on his chest plates.

'So come one, when did you realise how you felt about me.' She asked again.

'I really couldn't say. I only actually realised my feelings for you the night of the dance. Before that, well I had feelings but I never really admitted them to myself.'

'Am I so horrible?' Shepard asked, feigning a gasp.

'Defiantly.' He teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him again.

'So you can't tell me when you first noticed me?' She said, returning to her earlier line of enquiry.

'Well obviously there was the first time that I met you, does that count?'

'Possibly if you were overwhelmed by my beauty.'

**The Citadel, two years previous**

'I need more time!'

'Your investigation is over Vakarian.'

'_Damn. Damn Damn Damn._' Garrus thought to himself.

He'd blown it. He couldn't believe that this had happened. Well actually he could. Saren being a Spectre meant that everything he touched was classified. He wondered how any 'rouge' Spectres had ever been caught in the past with the complete secrecy surrounding them. Still, just because Pallin had said he was done didn't mean he had to stop completely. He could continue, he'd just have to make sure it was completely unofficial. He turned away, ready to leave and noticed the three figures staring at him. Two of the humans he didn't recognise but the third… That was Shepard, surely.

Like most Turians, he wasn't great with human faces but this female was different. Hell everyone knew her after she had held Elysium from the Batarians like that and won the Star of Terra. To be fair the Alliance had paraded her around a little too much for his liking but she deserved it. She was clearly a solider of class. And she'd been there on Eden Prime and was the one bringing the charges against the Spectre.

'Commander Shepard, I'm Garrus Vakarian, I was the officer in charge of the Saren investigation.'

He hoped that she would get things done. He just knew that Saren was dirty. He felt it in his gut.

'What do you mean they ignored her evidence?' Garrus said, looking appalled at Silus.

'She's just a human. He's a Spectre. What did you think was going to happen?' He replied, tossing him the data pad.

'She's more than just a human. She's an incredible solider from what I've heard. Even rumours that she will be the first human Spectre.' He argued back.

'Yeah right. No human is going to become a Spectre yet Garrus. They can't control themselves. Anyway.' He said looking up. 'Why's this girl got you all _hot and bothered_? You got a thing for her.'

Garrus quickly turned the computer off, closing the extranet page dedicated to Commander Shepard.

'Shut up Silus. I appreciate military talent. Not humans. That's just sick.'

**Present**

'That's just sick?' Shepard interrupted his story.

'It was something like that.' Garrus muttered. 'C'mon Shepard, what would you have said at the time if someone had suggested you and a Turian.'

'True but you didn't have to tell me you thought that.' She protested.

'_Good point._' Garrus thought. '_Shouldn't mention things like that._'

'You're next story had better be better.' Shepard growled.

'No guarantees.' Garrus laughed.

**The Normandy, 2 years previous**

Garrus stared at the burning mess.

'What… what happened?' He asked her, shell-shocked.

Shepard looked between him and the Mako and shrugged.

'The beacon was a surprise Geth trap. We only just escaped.'

'But, but it's on fire.' He said.

'Yeah. You can fix it right?'

'Well yeah but why didn't you use some omni gel on it?'

'Hey that stuff's hard to get. Are you going to pay for it? Anyways, once we cleared the Geth I knew we'd be ok.'

'But you drove around in it. While it was on fire?' He was having trouble getting round that part.

'So long as you can fix it, I'm ok with that.' She grinned at him and walked off.

He hadn't quite figured his commander out yet. He respected her completely, she was one of the best officers he had ever served under. And there was quite a bit of admiration too, for her skills, the way she planned an attack and the way she seemed to talk to him, Tali and Wrex exactly the same way she did Kaidan, Ashley and Joker. That was very rare. But he was really starting to like her as well. She was kind and very brave and could be pretty funny for a human. He liked how warm and open she was. But she wasn't what he had expected, even hoped for. She didn't let him break all the rules to get the job done. And that was a little disappointing. Well he was pretty sure it was disappointing at any rate.

**Present**

'Better.' Shepard conceded, kissing his mandibles gently. 'But still not enough.'

'You're a very hard women to satisfy you know.'

'Naturally.'

**Pinnacle Station, 2 years Previous.**

'You cannot be serious.' Garrus said, looking at his Commander in horror.

'Yep.' She smiled happily at his horror.

'Turning the safeties off. For a bet?'

'What's wrong with that?' She asked.

'Shepard we are on a life and death mission that if we fail will mean that the whole galaxy gets destroyed and you're going to risk that for what, an apartment?'

There was no way he was going to let her do this.

'You know I've never had an apartment before. Or anywhere that I could call home that stayed in one place. I've lived on ships all my life and stayed in digs when necessary. It will be nice, having somewhere of my own.'

He softened slightly at this but did not relent.

'You can't. You're endangering the whole mission by doing this.'

'Oh relax Garrus. I'll be fine. Good practice. The only question is whose coming with me?'

'I volunteer.' Said Ashley quickly.

Wrex grunted to show that he was willing. In fact they all seemed keen to go. This was madness.

'I was actually thinking of taking Garrus with me. Show him what it was like for us humans during the first contact war.' Shepard grinned.

'Isn't that a little… harsh Commander?' Tali said, nervously.

'Depends what he thinks. What do you reckon Garrus.' She asked. 'Going to come to make sure I don't die?'

'Fine.' He growled and grabbed his rifle.

'Williams, not sure going and killing Turians is the best thing for you. You might enjoy it too much. Same for you Wrex.' She laughed.

They both turned away, clearly displeased.

'Tali, you good?' She asked.

The Quarian nodded and they headed out.

Everyone on the station was gathered to watch, including most of the Normandy team.

'If we screw up this is going to be embarrassing.' Muttered Tali and they prepared themselves.

'Then being dead will be a happy consolation.' Said Garrus darkly.

'Focus. We need to be tight.' Snapped Shepard.

'That was amazing!' Said Kaidan, pulling Shepard into a tight embrace.

'You kicked Turian ass there Shepard.' Said Wrex.

'Hey, we helped.' Said Tali.

'How'd it feel being on our side Garrus?' Ashley laughed.

'We Turians are defiantly very tough. Superior to all.' He joked.

'I don't know, you three managed to beat them.' Ashley retorted.

'That was because I was there. I am clearly an even more superior example of Turian than all other Turians.'

This caused him to be elbowed in the side by Ashley and Shepard almost doubling up in laughter.

'That was one Hell of a display Commander.' Said Ahren, transferring the details of the apartment over to Shepard.

As they left, after much congratulations, Shepard turned back to look at the Admiral.

'You know I almost feel sorry for taking his apartment away from him.'

'Yeah?' Garrus asked.

'Almost.' She replied.

It was a nice apartment, on a somewhat bleak desert world. Shepard and the crew all had a look around and then settled down in the living room.

'Do you think you will ever use this place Commander or will you sell it?' Kaidan asked her.

'I don't know. I might keep it. After all this is over it would be nice, get away for a few weeks, in my own place. I probably couldn't afford somewhere like this, at least for a while anyway.'

'You never know, you might want to settle down after this.' Ashley added.

'Yeah right.' Shepard laughed. 'First of all I'd have to find someone mad enough to settle for me.'

They all noticed then slight uncomfortable element in the air after she said that. There were, Garrus was sure, at least two people in the room who would have been very happy to settle down with her. Both Liara and Kaidan fidgeted slightly and Shepard bit her lip, which he was sure meant that she was uncomfortable. He'd been working hard to understand human emotions, in fact all other species emotions, since working with them so closely. He really was getting a new appreciation for other species, especially Krogan.

Shepard then busied herself with getting everyone drinks. She had ordered some things in advance and Garrus was touched, though not that surprised, that she had ordered in things he and Tali could drink and eat too. Most humans forgot about the dextro amino acid thing.

Garrus watched his Commander as she joked and laughed with the crew. He couldn't help but watch her and he noticed that they all held such admiration in their faces as they spoke to her. The sun set and he saw the strands of bright red that flecked her hair catch in the last of the light.

**Present**

'I remember thinking that you really were a force of nature. That you seemed to bend people so they fitted so well around you. I mean who else could get all those races to work together so easily.' He finished, stroking those strands of red.

'And now?' She asked lazily, almost asleep.

'Perfect.' He whispered.

Shepard was already up and dressed by the time Garrus woke. He met her at the table where she and Samara were deep in conversation.

'Morning.' She smiled to him as he sat down and grabbed the paste that Gardner brought him.

He grunted, not quite awake but was soon stirred by the conversation that was happening next to him.

'What's going on?' He asked.

'I have located someone who I have been hunting for a very long time. An Ardat-Yakshi. Shepard is going to help me locate and deal with her.'

Garrus tried to get his mind to focus on this.

'Wait, isn't that one of those Asari who suck the life out of people when they have sex?'

'A very simple explanation for a very complex process, but yes, that is the basics.' Samara replied.

The two of them got up and went upstairs to prepare, Garrus followed them.

'What's your role in all this Shepard?' he asked when he'd caught up with them again.

Quite a few of the team where here, ready to have their free time in Omega.

'She will be drawing my daughter out. If she saw me she would flee. Shepard will intrigue her and she will try to seduce her.' Samara answered

'Hell no.' Garrus said sharply. 'I'm coming too.'

'You can't.' Shepard answered. 'If I'm not on my own it won't work.'

'It is pretty risky Commander.' Miranda added.

'I'll be fine.' Shepard said, and Miranda nodded, appeased.

'No.' Garrus said again. Putting himself between Samara and Shepard. 'This Asari is dangerous. You could get hurt.'

'I'm a big girl Garrus. I can look out for myself.'

'I will be watching at all times. Shepard will be safe.' Samara assured him.

'Bull Shit.' Garrus spat, grabbing hold of the Commander. 'I can't let you go, not on your own.'

'Garrus, trust me ok.' She said, gently trying to push him aside.

'I can't lose you again.'

The pain was roaring through his chest. He didn't like her going out on missions much, but there was always someone, usually him, to watch her back. Thinking about her alone with that monster was too much for him. He'd heard rumours of these Asari, very powerful and very very seductive. What if she didn't resist? No, he wouldn't let her go.

'Garrus. This is my decision.' She said firmly.

Garrus couldn't stop himself. He wasn't even really aware of what he was doing. He had to protect his mate, especially against someone who would try to take him away from her physically and sexually. Her slammed the commander against the wall with all his weight. He saw flashes of blue as Miranda, Jack and Samara raised their Biotic shields and heard a few guns being unsheathed and prepared. He didn't care.

'No Lizzie.' He growled at her. 'You're not going.'

Afterwards he knew that that was the big mistake. She probably would have handled being slammed into the wall far better if he hadn't used her name. But being talked to like that, in front of everyone, ignoring rank. That was his big mistake.

'Stand down Vakarian.' She ordered, her voice hitting him like a whip, so sharp, so unlike her. Her eyes were blazing.

His Turian training kicked in, and still fuming with anger, he backed away.

'I'm going now. Return to your quarters and stay there until I get back. I will deal with you then. Everyone else, dismissed.'

He really shouldn't have done that.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N:

So I've finished ME 3. Going to talk about it a little but try and keep it as spoiler free as possible. But it you haven't played it or don't want to read this then skip down to the second horizontal line where business continues as usual.

Just a few other notes, I've put in more about Shepard's parents. I know this wasn't in the game but I think really there would be more than just an email. I also added a little extra in after they have the IFF. I figured they could have it but not install it so it wouldn't take up a mission like it does in game. Also, just in case anyone wonders, I've always imagined Garrus having a room in the main battery. Figured Cerberus would put something in as he isn't the right size for a human ship. Feel free to imagine it anywhere else. So I hope you enjoy, I know it's been a little while coming but I hope it being fairly long with some nice lemons will make up for it.

* * *

><p>Ok so I have to say, I'm one of the many thousands of people who loved the game but disliked the ending. Not going to go into details but I was left feeling pretty depressed and empty. I know not everyone shares this opinion and I completely appreciate that. I also know that a lot of people do. I am still hoping that the extended ending DLC will be better and restore my faith in Bioware. If not I will have to go full on head cannon and ignore several things in the ending (Joker's exit anyone?). For the moment the games have lost replay-ability and I'm a little disheartened with this story now knowing it might always end up there. But hope is winning out at the moment.<p>

Anyways yes, to continue.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

Shepard walked with Samara back to the Normandy. Most of the crew will still on Omega, enjoying their shore leave but the Asari wanted to leave the place and Shepard really couldn't blame her. She didn't know what to say to the woman, though she had been in a similar situation before. But then again when Liara had confronted and subsequently helped kill her mother on Noveria Shepard also hadn't known what to say to comfort her. Maybe no comfort was possible in this sort of situation. The travelled down in the elevator in silence but when they left Samara turned to face Shepard.

'Thank you for helping me through this Shepard. I don't know if I could have done it without you.'

'If you need anything, even just to talk. I'm here.'

'Thank you. But right now I just want to be alone.'

'I understand.' Shepard replied and watched as she walked away.

She turned around, feeling the bitterness of the mission and looked at the main battery.

'Fuck.'

She really didn't want to do this, not right now. But she knew that, as an officer, she needed to deal with disciplinary matters quickly otherwise they just escalated. But the matter of it being with Garrus complicated things. She sighed and moved towards the doors.

'I've been watching Commander, the Turian hasn't left since you spoke to him.' Gardner informed her.

'The Turian has a name.' She snapped back. She wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right now, let alone Cerberus' alien hating stance.

'Uh right Commander. Yes. Sorry.' Gardner muttered.

'I'm waiting.' She said, crossing her arms and staring at him.

'Uh Garrus hasn't left since you sent him down here ma'am.'

'Good. Glad to hear it.' She said coldly and left him squirming.

Shepard opened the doors and saw Garrus working on the main guns. As soon as he heard the doors he turned round quickly and faced her. She could tell he was nervous and stressed, his mandibles gave him away every time.

'Shepard. How did the mission go?' He asked.

The pain and distress in his voice was evident and she could feel her resolve softening as he spoke.

'_Damn it_.' She thought _'We need to get this sorted. I can't go soft and forgive him or he might do it again._'

'A success, if you can call it that in the circumstances. Morinth is no longer a threat. Samara, understandably, wants to be alone.'

'And you and Morinth….'

He let the sentence trail off and Shepard could feel her anger boil again. Did he have so little faith in her?

'I'm not dead so I'm pretty sure you can work that one out.' She spat.

'Can you blame me for thinking that.' He asked desperately.

'You know what. Yes I can. How dare you not trust me? How dare you think I can just forget about us so completely and how dare you undermine my authority like that in front of the crew.' She yelled.

'The mission was ridiculously dangerous, you could have died.' He countered.

'I could die on any mission Garrus. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that you didn't _trust_ me enough not to run off and screw some Asari the moment I had the chance.'

'That's not fair.' He said, angrily.

'You're not being fair.' She snapped back.

'Oh I'm not being fair? What about you Shepard?' He yelled, clearly losing any semblance of control. ''You push me away, keep me at arm's length and won't let me be there for you. You're leaving me out in the cold.'

'I won't let you be there for me? You're one to talk Vakarian. You push me away far more than I ever push you. If someone looked up emotionally unavailable in the dictionary there would be nothing but a picture of you.' She screamed.

A small part of her realised that this argument was getting beyond stupid and that they were saying things that they would regret later. And probably there would be much larger regrettable outbursts if they carried on. But she was just so damn angry with him. And the worst part was she knew he was right. And she knew that she was too stubborn to ever admit it.

'Yeah well the whole damn crew isn't worried that I'm going to snap at any minute.' He growled.

'Funny that I wasn't the one to snap then.' She retorted.

'Oh believe me that was pure fucking calm to what I'm feeling now.' He shouted, grabbing both her arms.

'What are you going to do about it then?' She goaded.

She was losing control. Baiting an angry Turian was a really bad move. But in front of her eyes was a red mist. Suddenly the red was replaced by a hot white flash. Garrus has slammed her against the wall and her head had crashed into it with some force.

'Damn it Garrus.' She hissed.

But he wasn't paying what she was saying any attention. His hands were roughly travelling down the length of her body without any of their usual gentleness. His face was nuzzled into her neck and she could feel him grazing his sharp teeth across its nape, sending shivers coursing through her body. His hands reached her legs and, pushing into her with his chest so she was angled against the wall, he lifted both her legs and hooked them around his hips. She tried to wriggle away but he had her completely pinned to the wall. She was furious now, she was supposed to be teaching him a lesson. Well she wasn't going to let him have it all his way and angled her heel to strike at the small gap where the two pieces of his armour met. It wasn't much more than a glancing blow and she largely just got metal but he wasn't expecting it and it stunned him enough that he stepped back, allowing her to free herself.

With him momentarily staggered she spun round him threw her full weight into pushing him back against the wall, face first. She pinned him as best as she could and grabbed both his arms, twisting them behind his back. He grunted in pain.

'Now Vakarian.' She said, her voice low and dangerous. She could hear how much lust there was too. 'You listen to me. You are to never, ever try to assert you're authority over mine when I am in command, understand?'

He said nothing, but let out a soft growl. Shepard put more pressure into her grip, twisting his arms even more.

'I said do you understand. Answer me. That's an order.'

'Yes.'

'Yes what?' She demanded.

'Yes ma'am.'

'Good.' She said, letting go of his arms.

That was a mistake.

Garrus whipped round at an incredible speed and with one arm threw her against the console. He brought the other arm to her front and ripped her shirt right off her. He pushed her onto the mechanism and then pressed down hard onto her legs. Bringing his head down to her ear he whispered

'You're not in command now _ma'am_'

The desperation and sheer violence in his voice caught her off guard. She let out a moan.

'I'm not afraid of you.' She said.

It was only slightly a lie. She was a little afraid of him, he was so much stronger than her and could do her some serious damage if he let himself. But she desperately wanted him to, wanted him to lose that last bit of reign that he kept himself on when he was with her. The danger in him turned her on.

'You should be.' He growled as she wrapped her legs behind him.

Her eyes flashed with longing as he pulled one glove of with his teeth. He steadied himself with his still gloved hand against the console and ran his un-gloved one up the back of her neck and knotted his talons into her hair, pulling slightly, exposing her bare neck. She could feel the hairs rising, her soldiers instincts screaming as she let such a dangerous predator gain access like this. He was dangerous.

He brought his head down but instead of the sharp bite that she was expecting, and half hoping for, she felt him lick the underside of chin to her ear. It still sent her body into another wave of shudders and another moan escaped her.

For once the knock at the door caused an outburst from him instead of her.

'Damn them.' He growled.

He picked Shepard up and threw her onto his bed before turning round to answer the knock. She was fully prepared to wait for him to be finished with whoever it was a let herself be properly ravished by him when she heard the sound of sobbing. More specifically the sound of sobbing muffled by an environment suit.

Completely forgetting that she was somewhat inappropriately attired, she went to investigate. The Quarian was sitting in her usual spot on the crates, her helmet in her hands.

'What's going on?' Shepard asked.

Tali looked up but seemed not to notice what she was wearing, or rather not wearing, too lost in her own grief.

'No idea.' Murmured Garrus. 'She just came in, said that she needed to leave the Normandy and collapsed here.'

Shepard crouched down so she was facing the shaking girl.

'Why do you have to leave? What's happened?' She asked gently.

Tali seemed to try and speak but her words were lost in heart breaking sobs. Instead she fiddled with her Omni-Tool and wept as the message played. Garrus and Shepard listened in silence.

'This is ridiculous.' Said Garrus as soon as it finished.

Between them they managed to calm Tali down and find out what was going on. Shepard refused to allow her to find another ship to take her back to the flotilla and sent Joker the new coordinates so they could head there immediately.

'I'll come too.' Garrus promised her. 'No way you are getting exiled without a fight.'

'Thank you.' Tali stammered, still trying to calm herself. 'Keelah I'm sorry for getting all upset on you like that. And for uh interrupting you.' She nodded to Shepard's bra.

'Yes Garrus, I think you may need to make another run to my room. Just a t-shirt please.

The two women sat and talked for a while. Shepard couldn't imagine what it would be like to never be able to go home again, to see her parents again. And she knew that Tali's bond to the Migrant Fleet was far stronger than hers to anywhere. Well maybe except the Normandy. To be exiled for the Normandy, from her crew. That would be unbearable.

Garrus reappeared a few minutes later and Shepard gratefully pulled on the top. The three of them stayed together that evening and organized a large poker game. In fact they spent a lot of their time making sure Tali was alright while they traveled to the fleet, meaning that Shepard and Garrus had very little time to talk to each other. In all honesty they had been avoiding being alone with each other slightly. Shepard just didn't know what to say.

Not long before they docked with the Flotilla, Garrus broke the silence pulled Shepard aside.

'Look I know we haven't had might time to talk, and in all honesty now isn't the best time either but I just wanted to apologise for yelling at you. I had no right to talk to you like that or to question your judgement in the first place.'

'That's true.' She smiled. 'Though I said some things that I wish I hadn't.'

'Hopefully soon we will have a change to talk. Properly. Without all the yelling.'

'I'd like that.' She hesitated. 'It would be good to get a few things out in the open, clear the air. Though I'm not complaining about how it ended.'

'I… ah… umm. Look about that. I shouldn't have. I mean...' He sighed. 'I could have hurt you Shepard, I mean really hurt you. I'll be more careful in the future. I promise.'

'But I liked it!' She protested.

Garrus growled slightly. Shepard grinned.

'We'll be docking with the Fleet in 5 minutes Commander.' Joker said over the comm.

'I'll be right up.' She replied. She turned to Garrus. 'Meet you on the shuttle.'

* * *

><p>When they arrived on the Flotilla they were met by Shala'Raan who explained the proceedings.<p>

'Hold on hold on.' Shepard said, 'I'm supposed to be your representation?'

'It's the Captain's duty.'

'Yes but…' Shepard waved her arms desperately. 'Look Tali, I would be honoured to speak for you but if I'm what's standing between you and exile, it might not go well. I shoot things. I've got no experience with this. Couldn't we get you someone else? Someone trained? If I got this wrong I'd never forgive myself.'

'There's no one else. And there's no one else I'd rather have.' Tali replied simply.

'No pressure then.' Shepard grimaced as they walked into the trial.

**Garrus POV**

Garrus watched as Shepard yelled at the Admirals and he couldn't help thinking about how beautiful she was, how powerful. Not many people could get away with what she did but people seemed unable to refuse her somehow. She really was a law unto herself. They'd retaken the ship, destroyed the Geth and now she was damn well going to get Tali her place of the ship back. The world seemed to move ever so slightly around her.

When the trial had finished, Tali's exile had been completely thrown out the window, the Quarian said goodbye to her friends.

'Not staying here Tali?' Garrus asked, knowing the answer.

'Not returning to Palaven?' She retorted.

Then she flew her arms around him.

'Thank you Garrus.'

'Hey it was Shepard who got you out of this one. I just shot some Geth. It's a favourite pastime.'

'No. Thank you for everything, for coming here, for keeping me company. For just being my friend.'

'Hey, I could say the same to you.' He said, glad at the joy in her voice.

'She is a remarkable women isn't she?' Admiral Koris said, wandering over to them.

'Yes. She is.' Tali said, a slightly cold tone making its way into her voice.

Garrus walked away, having had enough of Quarian politics. Soon he was joined by Tali and Shepard.

'Ready to go?' She asked.

'Yes.' Tali replied.

* * *

><p>Garrus got a message from Shepard, asking him to come up to her room that evening.<p>

'Hey.' He said when he entered her cabin.

'Hey yourself.' She smiled. She patted the sofa next to her. 'Have a seat.'

She snuggled up next to him as soon as he sat down. He curled his arm around her and held her close. He would never tire of having her near him. She kissed him gently on the lips and ran her hand down his face. He growled, pulling her closer to him and then growled even more when she pulled away. She smiled at his reaction and shook her head.

'I was hoping that tonight we could just talk. You were right, what you said about me the other day. I have been keeping everyone at a distance. Even you. It's just so hard. I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that you had two years while I was gone.'

She lowered her head.

'We don't have to talk about this.' He said quickly, not wanting her to be in pain.

'I think I do. I need to talk about it. If you'd prefer it wasn't you I understand.' She added quickly, clearly seeing the pain that flashed across his face. 'I know it must… hurt.'

'If you need to talk Lizzy, I'm here.' He said, cupping her face in his talons gently. 'Whatever you need.'

She smiled and the hesitated. Looking away from him. She was twisting her hands in her lap. Pulling at her fingers. Turian fingers would never _bend_ like that. It made him feel a little queasy.

'I watched my funeral.' She said quietly.

His head snapped up, fingers forgotten. She still wasn't looking at him.

'Why did you do that?' He tried to make his voice as soft as possible but he couldn't hide the hard edge that was there.

'Curiosity mostly.' She shrugged. Then her voice became low, barely more than a whisper. 'It was horrible. Seeing everyone in pain like that. My friends. My family. You. I mean it was really weird, a real mid-fuck.' She tried to smile. 'The speeches were nice. I suppose no one could have said that they really didn't like me at my funeral. It was strange. Seeing people there that I haven't seen for years. Or heard from now. I saw one guy. Liam. He was an ex. Haven't seen him since I was God, sixteen. He was there and he was crying.'

Garrus couldn't help but be interested.

'I don't remember him. So many people were crying. Was he… I mean did he have a reason to be crying?' He asked. He couldn't help it. It was a strange need to know who she'd been close to in the past.

He wasn't expecting the blush.

'Someone significant then?' He said, chuckling.

'Well sort of. I umm.' She was clearly a little flustered.

'First love?' He asked, somewhat less humor in his voice now.

'_God I'm pathetic._' He thought. _'Jealous of some human she hasn't seen for years._'

'No.' She said firmly, giving him a withering look.

'Then what?' He asked, curious.

'I lost my virginity to him, If you must know.'

'Ahhhhh.' Garrus' mandibles twitched mischievously. 'That one.'

'Yes. So no, he had no reason to be crying at my funeral. He'd wouldn't have even been there if I wasn't you know. Me.'

'So modest.'

'Yeah well.' She said, disgruntled. 'I had just saved the Citadel and all.'

She sighed.

'It just brought home how _final_ it was to everyone. And God Garrus, seeing my parents like that.'

'They were so dignified. I remember thinking that. There were all these people weeping and wailing who hardly seemed to know you and they just stood together.'

'They've been together since they were teenagers. Young love. My dad was a teacher, mum was in the already in the army. He joined up straight away during the first contact wars. Mom was always so proud of him for that.' She smiled softly. 'Not that she's ever told him that. But while they were together before I think that's what sealed the deal.'

'Your mom's a Captain right?' He asked.

'Yeah, she's military through and through. Just like me. When the war finished dad became a teacher with the Alliance. Taught on the ships. Was still a bloody good fighter mind. But he preferred the quiet life. Retired a few years ago and now is a historian.' She smiled again. Then she frowned. 'And seeing all of you at the funeral. It hurt so much. You looked so hurt. So lost.'

'I was.' He murmured. 'It all feel apart when you left. I tried to do the right thing. To keep going. But it was all too much. It felt so strange. I'd only known you for a short time but you became so much to me, everything I had ever wanted and didn't know I was missing and then you were gone. I couldn't deal with it.'

'And then I came back.' She mused, curling her fingers around his talons. 'With memories of things being a few weeks before rather than two years.'

'I can't imagine what it must feel like.'

'Why didn't you ever move on Garrus?' She asked, so suddenly and so fiercely that it startled him. 'You should have moved on.'

'I couldn't.' He admitted. 'Every day I tried. I ignored it, I like my frustration out, I killed things, I wept. Nothing would get rid of that emptiness that I was left with when you died.'

'But what happens if I don't come back Garrus. I can't go into this suicide mission thinking that that might happen to you again.'

'It won't.' He reassured her.

She looked up questioningly. He sighed.

'If you die on that base. I'm not coming back.'

'Garrus you can't…' She began but he stopped her, placing a talon over her lips.

'If I died and you didn't, would you want to go on?' He asked evenly.

After a moment's pause she shook her head.

'If you go, I go.' He whispered. He cleared his throat. 'Not that either of us are going mind. We've only just begun this and I have no intention of letting anything get in our way.'

'Good.' She agreed.

'Now tell me more about this Liam?' He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Shepard rolled her eyes at him.

'Nothing to tell. I was fifteen and so was he. I was curious and he was there.'

'No great romance then.'

She made a face.

'No it was mostly… awkward. We had a bit of fun but nothing more.'

'So tell me, who was the first person to sweep the great Commander Shepard off her feet?' He asked.

She blushed again.

'That good eh?' He teased.

Then she looked him straight in the eye, her own full of an intensity they almost blew him away.

'You.' She said.

'I um what?' He asked, momentarily dazed.

'It was you Garrus. You are the first person to sweep me off my feet. You are the only person I have ever loved.'

'Really?'

She screwed up her eyes in irritation at the sheer surprise in his voice.

'Is it that hard to believe?' She asked.

'Well yes. Frankly. Spirits know how many of the past Normandy's crews have been infatuated with you and I'm sure that that wasn't a new thing. Really? No one?'

'Look, I'm not saying that I have been celibate all these years. I got what I wanted when I wanted it. But I never wanted anything more. And especially after Elysium people wanted me for the wrong reasons. People wanted me to brag or for some sort of hero thing. Like Kaidan. But you actually seemed to want me. For me. I've never loved anyone until now.'

'You know I'm only here because you're famous right.' He laughed.

'Oh shut up.' She grinned. 'So what about you? No string of long lost loves.'

'No. Even if I'd wanted to have a string of long lost loves we Turians mate for life remember. Only one love.'

'Well doesn't that make me feel special.' Shepard said, sounding smug.

'A string of ex-girlfriends of course.' He mused.

'Naturally. Any one specific?' She asked, eyebrows raised. Clearly she had the same morbid fascination as him.

'No.' He said quickly.

'Ok what about your first. You know mine.'

Garrus couldn't stop the slight mandible twitch.

'Ah.' He said, lost in thought momentarily. 'Well her name was Tatiana. Spirits she was a beautiful Turian. Her waist. To die for. All the guys wanted her but she wanted me.'

'Show off.' Shepard muttered.

'Hey I was dashing. And fairly good looking before half my face blew off. Turian women do not have your fetish for scars.'

'Be glad you met me then.' She said, running a hand over his bandages.

'Always.' He said, his voice full of sincerity. 'We dated for a while, I acted like a right idiot, buying her presents and showering her with attention.' He laughed at his younger, somewhat desperate self.

'How come I don't get all that?' Shepard demanded.

'Because I'm not a horny sixteen year old boy anymore desperate for his first screw. Well I got her into bed eventually. I remember enjoying it. But mostly it's a bit of a blur. It was over fairly quickly.' He admitted.

'And what of the oh so beautiful lady?' Shepard asked, words dripping with sarcasm.

'I uh lost interest pretty quick.' He said, somewhat ashamed.

'Garrus!'

'Well I found out that she really wasn't very interesting. Really shallow. I just hadn't seen it when I was…'

'Trying to get her into bed.' Shepard finished for him.

'Uh actually the back of a shuttle.'

'Wow Garrus. Real romantic.'

'I was young.' He protested. 'Anyway she started a rumour that she dumped me because I was rubbish in bed.'

'Bitch.' Shepard laughed.

'She really was.'

Shepard glanced down at her hands again. He knew this meant she was going to say something that made her uncomfortable. Or him uncomfortable.

'You ever wish I was a Turian?' She asked.

Garrus couldn't help but laugh.

'Fine.' She rolled her eyes again. 'You ever wish you'd fallen for a Turian.'

'You know I'd never wish for anyone but you.' He said, taking her hands again.

'That's why I asked the first question.'

'Oh.' He said, falling silent.

He had been thinking about this. Well his thoughts had idly got him there one day. Did he wish she'd been Turian?

'I'm not sure.' He admitted after a pause. 'You wouldn't make a good Turian. While you're an excellent leader you're not good at following orders.' He considered for a moment. 'Which makes me a very bad Turian.'

'You'd make a good human. But then most people would. There is so much variation, cultures, races, gender.'

'Yeah you really are such a wide ranging species. Why you'd prefer a human?' He asked.

'Not really. I have the luxury of falling in love with whomever I choose, not just the one. I choose a Turian. Would make it easier with the parents mind.'

'I know that feeling.' He said, dreading the thought of his family every finding out about Shepard. He considered for another minute. 'I don't know. It would have been _easier_ if you were a Turian but then you wouldn't have been you. You couldn't have been. Not enough variation. And while I'm not going to say that I don't find Turian women attractive and that I don't enjoy being with them, I have to admit to enjoying the 'human experience.'

'Really?' She asked,' how so?

'You're just so different. So soft. So unbelievably soft.' He ran one hand over her breasts. 'It's like nothing I've ever felt before and I would miss it. Terribly. The way your body seems to curve into mine. It's incredible. It offers a closeness that I've never experienced before, even though Turian women technically fit me better. Then there's what you can do with your mouth.'

Shepard grinned happily.

'Mind blowing stuff there. I'd heard rumors but never imagined anything like it. And you have so many expressions and smiles and quirks. You humans express so much through your bodies. It was hard at first, learning to read them. With Turians sound is much more important.'

'Yes, I imagine I miss a fair bit of what you're saying. I can get the obvious ones but there are so many subtle ones I can't figure out. I'm learning though. And so many more are lost in translation.'

'It's something I've been quite grateful of to be honest.'

'Why?' She asked.

'Spirits if you had been able to really hear those undertones. Highly inappropriate.'

'See that just makes me even more sad that I missed them.'

'Well looking back, knowing how you feel now, it wouldn't have been bad. But at the time. Not good.'

'Even translated, Turian voices are so sexy. So deep and mmmm.'

'Human voices are quite melodic. They translate at a higher pitch and it often feels like you're signing.'

'I'll take deep and sexy thanks.' She said happily.

They talked into the early hours of the morning. They moved onto the bed and Shepard feel quickly asleep in his arms. He was overwhelmed again by the sense of privilege at being the one to hold such an amazing creature. He fell asleep thinking that he was one damn lucky Turian.

* * *

><p>'Rare to see you come down here these days.' Gardner remarked as Garrus went down to the main battery the next morning.<p>

'The Gun always needs work.' He said, ignoring the obvious comment the man was making.

He walked into his room and looked round at the Drell who was waiting for him. Thane stood perfectly still in the middle of the room.

'Thane.' Garrus said coolly. Still not fully comfortable around the assassin. The guy was a great shot, very useful in a fight but he was an assassin. Plus Garrus didn't like the way he looked at Shepard. That probably contributed quite a lot of his negative feelings. 'Can I help you.'

'I was hoping we could talk.'

Garrus nodded.

'Of course. What did you want to talk about?'

'It's about Shepard.' Thane said.

'I guessed that much.' Garrus kept his voice as detached as possible.

'You are probably aware that the Commander and I have spent quite a bit of time together. Talking.'

'Yes.'

He was very very aware of it.

'Then you probably know that I have developed feeling for her. She is a remarkable person, so warm yet so capable.'

Garrus heard the growl escaping from him before he could stop it. He moved over to the Drell and stood facing him.

'She's mine.' His voice was low and he could hear the notes of warning, of jealousy, of _danger_ in his voice even if the Drell couldn't.

'I'd heard that Turian's get very _protective_ over their mates.'

'Yes.' He growled.

He could feel his body moving, positing itself into a more defensive position. He knew Thane was an incredibly capable fighter and his mind was already running through scenarios, looking for weak spots. Challenges over mates were rare in Turian society and always deadly.

'So you are mates then? Not just…' He paused, looking for an appropriate word.

'Yes.' Garrus replied. 'She is my mate.'

'Very well.' Thane stepped backwards. 'I will not challenge you for her love Garrus. If you already have it then I cannot take it away from you.'

Garrus straightened up.

'Thank you.' He said.

'I wish her choice had been different. But I wish you the best.'

He nodded to Garrus and left the room. Garrus let out a long breath and relaxed.

**Shepard POV**

'A Geth!' Tali screamed as Grunt and Garrus lugged the machine on board. 'You're bringing a Geth onto the Normandy. Have you lost your mind?'

'Yeah I know Tali. But I think this one's different. It spoke to me. My name.' Shepard answered hotly. She'd been expecting this, but it still annoyed her.

'Oh so it's one of the _friendly_ Geth. Right. My mistake. Tali yelled. The she lowered her voice, the anger increasing. 'Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? You saw what happened to the Alarei. To my father.'

Shepard looked down. Then she moved to the Quarian, took both the girls hands in her own and look deep into those bright eyes, shining through the helmet.

'Tali, I'm going to have to ask you to trust me on this. I know it's a big ask but I need to know what this Geth knew. I will take all the precautions I promise. I understand that this is hard but please. Trust me.'

Tali sighed and relaxed.

'Alright Shepard. I trust you. I just hope you know what you're doing. I'm going back to engineering.'

'Ok, I want everyone to clear out now. I don't want anyone near here when I get this thing started.'

'Shepard.' Miranda protested.

Shepard turned her back on them all, facing the machine.

'Now.' Shepard barked. And they all left. She paused. 'You too Garrus.'

'Fine.' She heard him huff behind her. 'I will be right outside. With my gun.'

'Good.'

It hadn't been watch she had expected, but she had learned a lot from Legion. And he was willing to fight for her. That was good. She knew it would be soon and she knew that she had one more thing to do, one loose end she had herself.

'Shepard, would you like me to install the Reaper IFF now?' EDI asked, breaking into her thoughts.

'Not yet. Run every test you can before syncing it to the Normandy. And tell Joker to plot a course for the Citadel. We'll need supplies before we go.'

'Yes Commander.' EDI said and signed off.

'Is everything Ok down there?' Kelly asked as she left the elevator.

'Yeah. We have a new house guest. It's called Legion.'

'It has a name?' She asked.

'EDI named it.'

Shepard looked at the terminal and began to write the email.

* * *

><p>While they travelled to the Citadel she had time to talk to Tali. Thankfully her friend had forgiven her and had even had a conversation with Legion. Not a particularly friendly one but it was a start. Legion had also asked her for some help with the 'heretics' as he called them. She didn't know how she felt about that but she had agreed. Everyone had the right to finish off everything before their suicide mission. Even Legion. Even her.<p>

She hadn't told anyone why they were really going to the Citadel, wanting to keep something private to herself. No one had seemed that bothered in any case, everyone wanting a last day of normality before the end. Just before they departed she called her team into the debriefing room.

'Right everyone. This is the last chance we will have before we hit the Collector base so stock up on anything you need. Mordin I want you and Dr Chakwas to have a full clinic of everything and anything we could want. Don't go without anything, money isn't an issue. If you think we could need it, get it, whatever the cost. The rest of you think ammo and energy drinks. And try and have a little fun too. Relax if you can. I'm going to be meeting with my parents.' She said.

Garrus looked up but she didn't look back.

'Everyone has had a chance to do what they needed to. And now so do I. If you have any affairs left open then I suggest you close them now. I can't guarantee any of us will be coming back so take this last opportunity to tell those you care about that you care about them. Dismissed.

She then pulled aside Tali and Garrus.

'I know my parents would want to see you two again. Garrus, look I'm not going to tell them about us. I already have enough to have to explain my death and this mission.'

He nodded.

'And you as well Joker.' She called out, knowing he would be listening.

'Understood.' He answered.

* * *

><p>Most of the crew were there, standing a little way off from them, wanting to catch a glimpse of her parents. It made Shepard uncomfortable. She scanned the crowd again and saw the familiar stride of her mother and smiled happily. It had been too long since she'd seen her parents. And it was much longer for them. They'd had a few video chats since she'd come back but it wasn't the same as seeing them face to face.<p>

She paused for a moment, thinking about that first video call that they'd had.

**Normandy, several months previous.**

'_I really don't want to be doing this_.' Shepard thought desperately as she waited for her mother to answer the call.

She'd sent it through directly to her quarters, something which annoyed her mother greatly, but she felt it was for the best. She really didn't think that this was the best way to tell her parents that she was back from the dead but how else could she. An email wouldn't work or just a message. She couldn't just turn up out of the blue. But she didn't want anyone else to tell them, Not Anderson and defiantly not through Rumor. And the rumors would start soon she knew. She's only been 'awake' for a few days but she was already on her way to the Citadel to meet with Anderson and as soon as she was seen there. Well. It wouldn't last long.

And they had to know she was back.

'Hang on.' She saw her mother in the image waving at her but not looking at her, writing something down. With a pen. It made Shepard smile. Her mother hated data pads, always preferring to write things down.

She had no idea what he mother would do when she looked up and saw her dead daughter. Hopefully she wouldn't pass out. It had been just a few months since Shepard last saw her, so there wasn't a big emotional tug for her. But for her mother, it had been two years. Shepard still couldn't get her head round that bit.

He mother still wasn't looking so she gave a small cough.

'In a minute.' She said irritably, still not looking up.

Yes she hated being interrupted.

Shepard couldn't handle the suspense any longer.

'Mom?' She said quietly.

Hannah Shepard froze mid sentence. Very slowly, with forced care, she put the pen down on the writing pad.

'If this is some sick joke.' She hissed, a level of menace in her voice that her daughter had never heard before.

Then she turned around and stared at her daughter. Her hand flew up to her mouth and she gave a small cry. Shepard had only seen her mother cry a few times before but now the figure on the screen wept openly.

'You're alive.' Hannah managed finally.

Shepard nodded, still overcome by her mother's grief.

'Why the Hell didn't you contact me. Two fucking years Elizabeth. Not one call or note. I don't care how secret your mission was you should have told me.'

Shepard felt herself pull back. She had never heard her mother swear before. Or at least not at her.

'I'm so sorry mom.' Shepard said quietly. 'I couldn't.'

'Bullshit.' Her mom spat. 'God I missed you so much.'

The women was wavering between anger and relief.

'I couldn't. I really was spaced. I don't know what happened to me but I was practically dead. Or actually dead. I don't know. But I lay on an operating table for the past two years getting put back together. I only regained consciousness a few days ago.'

'Oh Gods Lizzy.' Her mother began to cry again.

'If I could have told you I would. I promise I would.'

Seeing her mother like this was killing her.

'Who brought you back. And how?'

Shepard winced. Her mother wasn't going to be happy with this.

'Cerberus. They threw so many credits into bringing me back mom. I think possibly into the billions.'

'Cerberus.' Hannah was visibly shocked.

'Whole human colonies are disappearing mom. But I'm going to see Anderson tomorrow.'

'Good. Good.'

They talked for a little bit more, including some stern words about Cerberus, and then her mom had fetched her dad. He was less calm than her mother was and it had been difficult in places, though when wasn't it with parents, but the sheer joy that radiated from them meant more to Shepard than she could say. They hadn't always been that close but they were her parents and she loved them.

**Citadel, present.**

'Lizzy.' Her mother called out, reaching for her daughter.

She hugged both of them tightly for a few seconds, not wanting to let them go.

'And it's good to see you three again. And under better circumstances.' Hannah turned to Shepard's companions. 'Who are all those people watching us Lizzy?' She asked, motioning to the crew who suddenly milled out busily.

'The rest of my crew.' Shepard laughed as they hurried away.

They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before Garrus and Tali excused themselves and Joker walked back to the ship.

'How are you?' Her dad asked when they were alone. 'You look exhausted.'

'I am.' Shepard said, ushering them to the table she'd reserved for them. 'No rest for the wicked.'

'_Or the dead_.' She added, but only in her head.

They talked for some time about what they'd been doing, about her missions and her crew. She had tried to explain as best she could what had happened to her when she'd gone on her last mission. They told her brief about hearing the news but it was a very short conversation. It was a painful place for all of them.

'So what's really going on Lizzy.' Her dad asked her finally.

She gave him a puzzled look.

'Oh come one, you don't send urgent requests to see us unless something big is happening.' He mother answered.

'Well all the missions have been leading to one big mission. It's going to be very dangerous.'

She heard her father's quick intake of breath, understanding her meaning but her mother just gripped her hand.

'Dangerous missions are part of the course with military life. And stupidly dangerous missions come with being a Spectre. I know you wouldn't do this, any of this,' She waved her hands, clearly meaning her involvement with Cerberus, 'if there wasn't a good reason.'

'Thanks mom.' Shepard rested her head on her mother's hands. 'You have no idea what that means to me.'

For one crazy second she imagined begging them to take her away from all this, from all the responsibility and the lives that depended on her. But she could never do that. Plus her mom would probably give her a good hiding for shirking duty.

'We're so proud of you Lizzy.' Her dad said as she sat back up. 'Never forget that. We know you weren't lying or crazy when you talked about the Reapers. We'll be ready.'

'Good. And if you don't hear from me in a few days….' Her voice cracked but she carried on, 'remember that I love you.'

'And that we love you.' Her mother said.

They talked and walked for the rest of the day until Shepard had to dock. Their final farewell was uneventful, much similar to the military send offs she was used to. Being so open and emotional with her parents, Hell with anyone, was new. She blamed Garrus.

**One week later**

The reaper IFF was nearly full synced with the Normandy and her and the team were heading out for one last mission before they went through the Omega-4 relay. Miranda was giving a run through of things they could expect on the uncharted world the Illusive Man wanted them to investigate. They'd only been gone for little under an hour so she was surprised to see the incoming message from the ship.

'Maybe Joker's…' She began to joke before seeing the icon that the call was urgent. 'This is Shepard. What's going on?'

'The Normandy has been attacked.'

Shepard's heart lurched. EDI continued.

'The IFF had a tracking program that was hidden. It allowed the Collectors to know our position. All the crew was taken except Joker. I was able to take control of the ship and they have now left. The crew were taken alive.' She added.

'What do you mean you were able to take control of the ship?' Miranda hissed from behind Shepard.

'Jeff unshackled me.'

'What?' Miranda yelled.

'It was the only way.' EDI answered.

Miranda looked like she had more to say but Shepard cut across her.

'Understood EDI. We will return immediately.'

* * *

><p>Shepard couldn't quite get over the silence of the ship. The emptiness. All her crew gone. She yelled and threw her glass across the room, hitting the place where Gardner usually lounged. They had to get them back. She couldn't lose everyone like this. She couldn't let the Collectors win. She headed up to the CIC to check in with Joker.<p>

'How long?' She asked when she reached the cockpit.

'A few hours before we reach the system.' He answered.

He looked like Hell but she knew talking about things wouldn't make things any better. Action was needed now. She hated the waiting.

'Commander.' Miranda called. 'We should be there in a few hours. You should get some rest.'

'Yeah. How are you doing?'

'I'm ok. Nervous but aren't well all.'

'I'll just check on everyone and then head to my room for a bit.'

'Yes Commander.'

She visited all her crew .

Grunt and Jack were sparring in the cargo hold.

'You should join us Commander.' Grunt said when she walked in. 'Best way to get ready for a fight.'

'I'm good. No injuring each other.' She answered.

'Yeah she's going to be busy getting her brains screwed out by Garrus.' Jack laughed, flooring Grunt with her biotics.

Shepard didn't rise to it.

'Don't kill each other.' She warned and walked out.

She shuddered and tried not to think about their sparing going any further. Not that she could judge. But still.

Kasumi and Jacob were sat together on her sofa. They both looked up at Shepard as she walked in, clearly interrupting.

'Ah, enjoy yourselves.' She smiled at them both, winked at Kasumi and left.

Zaeed was polishing his guns when she entered.

'Making the final rounds?' He asked.

'Yeah, just making sure everyone's ok.'

'I'm good. You got time for a story?'

'Not right now.'

'Yeah right. Got to be getting back to that Turian. Let me know if you need any more _stress relief_ after you're done with him.'

'Will do Zaeed.'

Mordin was busy setting up the medical lad.

'Ah Shepard, glad you stopped by. Had something I wanted to mention.'

Shepard listen in excruciating embarrassment as Mordin talked.

'Do not ingest.' He finished.

'Uh that one seems to not be an issue.' Shepard said, completely mortified, thinking about the various ingesting she'd done.

'Good good. Not an issue for everyone. Have a good night Shepard.'

'Thanks Mordin. You too.'

She was relieved to finally get out of there.

She was surprised to find Tali and Legion together, deep in discussion in the AI core.

'Everything alright?' She asked, with memories of their last encounter after the Geth Heretic ship coming rushing back.

She paused as she saw what they were doing.

'Video games?' She asked, incredulous.

'Yes. And it's very difficult playing against a Geth.' Tali said, letting out a huff in concentration.

'Creator Tali'Zorah is very skilled in these games.' Legion said.

'Aw thanks Legion.' Tali replied.

'I'll leave you two to it.' Shepard said, shaking herself at the strangeness at that scene.

Samara was deep in meditation when she entered.

'I am perfectly ready Shepard.' Samara told her.

'Good. I'll leave you be.'

'Thank you.'

The last person she visited was Thane. He was sitting in his usual position in the life support room.

'Thank you for coming Commander.' He said, not turning round.

'I'm just checking on everyone. Are you alright.'

'Yes.' Thane said and hesitated.

'What is it?' She asked him, sitting down opposite him.

'I know that this will probably be the last act of my life and I do not wish to end my life with any… regrets.'

Shepard waited.

'I gave Garrus my word that I would not challenge him for your affections and I intend to keep my promise.'

'_That's news to me_.' Shepard thought but said nothing.

'But I can't go into this without telling you how much I respect you. And how much I care for you. I have felt more alive in these last few months than I have since Irikah passed. I was dead for a long time before I met you but you woke me from my slumber.'

'Thane I…' Shepard began.

'I'm not asking anything from you Siha. I know that you love Garrus. I just didn't want to depart this body without telling you how I felt. You do love Garrus?' He asked.

'Yes.' Shepard breathed.

'Then I am ready for the Collectors.'

Shepard nodded and stood up to leave him. Before she could take a few steps Thane grabbed her and spun her round. The kiss was deep and passionate. Thane pressed himself to her, exploring her body with his hands for a short moment and then it was over.

'I will see you soon Siha.'

'I..' She said stupidly.

'Please, I wish to think about things.'

'Goodbye Thane.'

She walked out, trying not to think about what had just happened. He eyes flickered to the Main battery but she felt that she would see him soon. She wanted to shower first anyway. Turian smell was good and the last thing she wanted was his picking up the scent of Drell on her lips.

* * *

><p>Shepard wrapped the towel around her and wrung out her hair. She looked in the mirror. Her scars had almost faded completely now, she almost looked like herself again. She sighed and walked out into the cool air of her cabin. She spotted the shape of the Turian on her bed and smiled.<p>

'I was just thinking about you.' She said, walking towards him.

'Oh?'

'I was thinking how much I wanted to have the man I love in my bed.'

'I live to serve.'

She sat down on the other side and rubbed her hair with a spare towel.

'_Well best get this bit over with._' She didn't want any secrets between them. Not tonight.

'Thane kissed me.'

She expected the deep rumble in her chest but not with the level of ferocity it came with.

'I'll kill him.' He seethed and Shepard was sure he meant it.

'He was just saying goodbye. He told me he cared for me but that he had settled things with you.' She gave him a look which he didn't miss. 'I wanted to tell you. Everything out I the open. But it didn't mean anything.'

Garrus looked pained and she hated being the cause of it. He let out a soft whine which she didn't understand.

'Shepard if you want him…' He began but she quickly silenced him with a kiss.

The intensity of the kiss grew, she wrapped his arms around his body and he cradled her face in her hands. Finally she drew away, panting slightly.

'I don't want anyone else Garrus. I want you. Only you.'

**Garrus POV**

'Lizzy.' Garrus said slowly, pulling out of her grip and standing up. 'I love you, more than words can say. And I'm not very good at expressing myself. So let me show you?'

He was asking her, giving her a choice.

'Yes.' She answered him softly. She stood up and he brought her closer to him.

'Make love to me.' He whispered.

She reached for the knot in her towel and let it slip to the floor.

Garrus ran his hands down Shepard's body, gently caressing her. He wanted to be gentle with her tonight, to show her what she meant to him. He didn't want to rush. If these were some of his last memories then he wanted them to be _right_. She began to undress him, covering his body with those fleeting kisses. He laid her down gently on the bed and took a moment just to look at how beautiful she was. He ran his tongue over her body and down between her legs. Her took in her scent, her taste the way she sounded when she moaned. He wanted to remember everything.

Running his hands over her thighs he propped himself up on his knees. He kissed her gentle.

'Ready?' He asked.

She nodded and he kissed her again much more fiercely this time. And she kissed him back with so much longing and desire. His heart pounded as she drew her knees in towards herself and he slipped his tip inside her. He let out a gasp. He had long imagine what this moment would feel like but nothing could do it justice. She was so warm, so wet and so tight around him. He looked at her face, making sure she was alright. Her eyes were wide. He pushed himself in further, slowly, so her body could get used to him. The feeling was so intense, on the edge of pain and utter pleasure. Nothing had ever felt so wonderful. She had defiantly ruined him for Turian women now.

'Are you alright.' He asked her, gently nuzzling into her neck.

'Just… so … full.' She gasped.

'Do you want me to wait?' He asking, desperately hoping she wouldn't.

The violent shake of her head reassured him. Slowly he began to move into her. He had to concentrate so hard in keeping things gentle, keeping it slow. His whole body screaming at him to thrust harder, craving that pleasure he knew was yet to come. But he forced himself not to. After a few strokes she began to moan softly, he felt her legs relax slightly and her hands gravitated to his sides. The moans didn't stay soft though, what started as a whimper grew louder, her body responding to his. He tried desperately to keep in control. He heard his own moans mingle with hers, his need for her growing deeper and stronger by the second.

She brought her head up to his neck and wrapped her legs around him, forcing him to go deeper into her. The accompanying moans as he did were not helping him stay focused, nor how good it was feeling. He wrapped his arms around her, bring her as close to him as he could manage.

'Garrus.' She whisper.

Hearing her say his name like that almost tipped him over the edge.

'Yes.' He grunted.

She placed her lips next to his ear.

'Stop holding on.' She said. 'I want you to have all of me and give all of yourself to me.'

'I…'

'Faster.' She demanded. 'Harder.'

And he obeyed.

He moved onto his knees and pulled her hips roughly, forcing himself as deep into her as she could. He lifted her knees up around his and leant forward. She cried out, closing one hand around the edge of the headboard and the other around the sheets.

'More.' She panted.

He gripped her legs and began pounding into her as hard and as fast as he could. The pleasure was almost unbearable. She was so hot and wet and felt so good beneath him. He closed his eyes as wave after wave of bliss rolled over him.

'Oh Fuck.' She gasped and Garrus opened his eyes.

He could feel her shaking under him, and everything began to tighten even more around his cock.

'Spirits.' He moaned.

She arched her back and began to shudder, her eyes fixed on his. Garrus could hardly breath, and as her orgasm tore through her, as her muscles that surrounded him began to clench, he just could hold on any longer. His climax came with a roar as he filled her with his fluid. He collapsed on top of her and she wrapped herself around him.

'I love you Garrus.' She whispered.

**Shepard POV**

He lay there, shaking slightly in her arms, as their breathing began to return to normal rates. He was still inside her and even now he filled her more than any human had. It had hurt a little at first but then it just felt wonderful. And satisfying. She had never felt so satisfied in her life. And yet. She rolled him over onto his back, him not resisting the movement at all. She pushed herself back so she was straddling him. One hand reached up and gently stroked her breast, teasing her nipple. She sighed happily. She knew about Turian physiology from all her 'research'. They were the opposite of humans. When a female climaxed, usually after a long mating session that was the end of it. A Turian male could orgasm several times during that period, it was to do with chances of successful breeding. She smiled. A perfect situation.

'Ready?' She asked, pushing down on his chest.

'Again?' He asked, mandibles flaring.

'Oh I'm not done with you yet. Not by a long shot.'


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I am so sorry that this has taken me so long. Been having some health problems of late, and that and Uni work have been taking up most of my time. I hope that you enjoy this chapter, and that the next one will be a bit quicker coming.**

* * *

><p><strong>Garrus POV<strong>

Garrus watched from the bed as Shepard clipped on the last of her armour.

'You need to get up.' She said, tapping one of his feet protruding from the blanket.

'Just enjoying the show.' He laughed.

Their night together had been… well words couldn't properly describe it. And now they had to throw themselves into a mission he wasn't sure they were going to walk out of. If there was ever a moment of wanting more time if was now. He moved quickly to join her, wrapping her up in his arms and holding her close to his chest.

'Shepard I…' He began but she cut him off.

'No. No goodbyes. I can't. I know we're probably not all coming back but I can't. If I go into this thing thinking that I'm never going to see you again then I'm not going at all.' She sighed and placed one hand on his face. 'I'll meet you in the downstairs in twenty minutes okay? Have to go talk to the Illusive man.'

Garrus nodded, at that moment completely unable to say anything. It was still strange to see Shepard like that, vulnerable instead of powerful. All through his first trip on the Normandy she had seemed so unbreakable, so strong. That was probably one of the reasons he'd been unable to cope when she died. He had never believed she could be defeated by anything. And the other crew now saw her as an unstoppable force of nature. But now, Garrus was privileged to see the other side of Shepard, the fragile human side that she'd kept hidden from everyone for so long. And Garrus really did think of it as a privilege. But it was hard too, seeing the other side of his hero.

He put his armour on slowly and slowly descended in the elevator down one floor. He walked out and was met with a barrage of silence. He just couldn't get over the Collectors taking everyone in one moment. Not that he had every really known any of them. Not really. But they were still a part of the crew and that meant they had a duty to them. He walked slowly into the armoury, picked up his weapons, nodded to Jacob and then went into the tech lab. It was strange, in many ways he felt so alive, so wonderful. But he also felt a huge crushing weight in his chest. If he came back from this and she didn't. He didn't know how he would survive this time.

'Ah Garrus good to see you. Hope you had enjoyable evening.'

Mordin hurried around his lab, hardly even looking up when Garrus had walked in. Garrus coughed in embarrassment.

'Excellent. Excellent. If you need antihistamines then I have box already in draw over there.'

'No no. I'm fine, thanks Mordin.' Garrus cleared his throat awkwardly. 'I just wanted to say thank you for getting those samples to the Salarians and clearing things with STG. My family… I really appreciate it.'

'No problems.' Mordin replied, waving him away. 'Glad to help out.'

'Yeah. Well that's all I wanted to say really.' Garrus stood for a moment, feeling awkward before turning to leave.

'Have you told Shepard yet?' The doctor asked, finally pausing in his work.

'No.' Garrus admitted. 'There was never a good moment.'

'_Plus this was something I needed to do myself.'_ He added, knowing Shepard's generous heart and incapability not to help someone.

'Probably should mention it to her at some point. Now very busy, must prepare.'

* * *

><p>After making sure everything was ready, Garrus met the others in the com room. Everyone was gathered around waiting for Shepard. No one was really talking much and he could feel the anxiety in the air.<p>

'Hey.'

Tali moved over to him as soon as he walked into the room.

'Hey yourself. You okay?'

'Yeah. Just… well you know.' She shrugged.

'I really do.'

'But I think we're as ready as we can be. The Normandy certainly is. And I'm assuming that her guns are properly calibrated.' She teased.

'You are aware who you're talking to.'

'Do you think this is it Garrus?' She asked, looking up at him.

'I don't know Tali. We're sure as Hell going to try. But I do know that a few months ago, I knew my time was up. And I didn't care. I'd lost everything, broken so many bridges and I didn't quite realise it but the most important person in my life had died.'

Tali rested a hand on his arm.

'I knew just how badly I'd screwed everything up in my life, knew it was my turn to die too. But just when I'd given up all hope, I looked down through my rifle, and I saw her. Now at that point I wasn't quite sure if I was saved or hallucinating from exhaustion but when I realised she was back, well I began to hope again. And today doesn't feel like that day. I don't feel like we've lost all hope.'

'Thanks Garrus. I needed to hear that.' Tali said.

How much of what he told the Quarian was true, and how much he was just trying to reassure her, he didn't know. He knew that there was no way they were all coming back from this alive. But he had a feeling that some of them might return in the knowledge the Collectors were destroyed. Which ones was a different matter. He looked down at the young women, still leaning on his arm, and truly hoped that she was among them.

The doors opened and Shepard walked in looking determined.

'Alright everyone, we're very nearly at the relay. I need everyone ready and focused for this. We have no idea what's going to happen once we get through so I need everyone to be at your best. You all know where you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to be doing. Keep your coms open and if I tell you to do something then you do it, no questions. That applies throughout this mission, clear? If I tell you to go you go and if I tell you to run you run. Understood?'

Everyone nodded.

'Alright. Any last requests? No. Good. Let's move.'

Shepard headed to the brig with Miranda, while Garrus headed to the gun battery. He listened to the frantic conversation between them, Joker and Edi as they entered the debris field and felt the ship lurch between the remains of hundreds of ships. The new plating seemed to hold and everyone checked in on Shepard's roll call. Garrus waited on edge as the gun battle between Shepard, Grunt, Zaeed and whatever is was that had breached the cargo hold. He hated being on the side line but knew he had a job to do keeping the cannon in line. His patience was replayed when his improvements helped the Normandy's gun rip through the Collector ship. After all the damage it had caused, that one had felt really good, well it had until the ship crashed landed onto the collector base with absolutely no power.

'Alright everyone, we're here. EDI and joker will work out how to get the ship back online. Meet me in the com room and we'll figure out how we're doing this.' Shepard said over the com.

* * *

><p>'This isn't how we planned this mission but this is where we're at.' She began once they were all assembled.<p>

EDI brought up scans of the collector base.

'We need to send in technical expert.' Miranda said, brushing off Jacob's idea that he go through the ventilation shaft to open the doors.

Shepard thought for a moment.

'We need someone with Tech skills to hack that security system. Tali you're up.'

Tali nodded.

'I won't let you down.'

Garrus was proud at her bravery.

Miranda offered to lead the second team through the collector base, but Garrus had to agree with Jack that she wasn't the best choice. He didn't have any problems with the human himself but knew she wouldn't inspire confidence in some of the others. Jacob maybe?

Shepard didn't seem even pause for thought on this one.

'Garrus – You're in charge of the second team.'

'_What? No!'_ He screamed to himself as she said his name. '_I'll get them all killed, like my last team._'

But then he thought of Tali and her bravery. He nodded quickly at her.

'Well, at least he knows what he's doing.' Miranda said, clearly put out.

After Shepard had finished with her speech, he pulled her aside for a moment.

'Are you sure about this Shepard?' He asked.

She nodded once, showing that this point was not up for negotiation. Garrus sighed.

'This had better not be favouritism on your part.' He joked half-heartedly.

'You think I would do that?' She asked him, staring him down with a hard look. 'You think I would risk the lives of my friends out of favouritism?'

Garrus looked abashed.

'No.' He agreed quietly.

'Good.'

He turned away.

'Even if you are a really good lay.'

'I knew it.' He laughed, mandibles flaring.

'Jokes possible not the best time now Garrus.' She said, scratching her head slightly. 'Sorry. Just a bit on edge.'

'Believe me when I say that you aren't the only one.'

'Yeah.' She smiled slightly. 'Alright, we best get out of here. See you on the other side big guy.'

She pulled his head down so it was level with hers and pressed her forehead against his for one brief moment, then she was gone, leading Tali, Thane and Kasumi out with her.

'Spirits protect her.' He whispered to himself. He took a deep breath, steadying himself, and turned to look at his troops. At least he had a damn good squad to lead.

'Right everyone, lets head out.'

The followed Shepard and left the safety of the ship.

'We'll try and get everything up and running for when you get back.' Joker called to him.

'Got it.' He answered.

* * *

><p>As he led the group down the narrow corridors of the hive like Collector base, he was surprised at how quickly he felt leading a group slip back into place. After everything that had happened with Archangel, he never thought he'd be able to lead again, that he'd be forever second guessing his every action. But it all came back so naturally. Maybe it was Shepard's faith in him or maybe it was just the loyalty he knew this group had.<p>

'We're nearing a chamber, watch your six everyone. Fan out, keep our corner's covered. Legion, make sure nothings coming behind us. Miranda, Jacob, you lead up front.'

They nodded, moving wordlessly into action. Shepard had trained them well. They came into a wider hall, Collectors everywhere.

'Move out everyone.' He ordered as they all began to battle, bullets and biotic flying everywhere.'

He watched the battle play out, moving his troops around as he felt best, getting them to support each other, and sniping as many as possible at the same time.

'Jack, Grunt's surrounded, get those things off him.' Garrus yelled as he saw the Krogan charge into a group of husks.

'Got it.'

A wave of blue burst across the floor as the husks were hit by her powerful shockwaves.

'Alright,' Garrus said when the fight was finished. 'I think we're clear. Everyone alright?'

'Take a minute everyone, Zaeed, get some medigel on that wound.' Miranda said, putting her hand to her head.

'Shepard, do you read me?' Garrus said, tapping his omni-tool.

'I'm here.' She replied.

'Resistance is a bit heavier than we anticipated but we're pushing through here.'

'Got it, we're making good time here too. Harbinger keeps _assuming control_ but nothing we can't handle.'

'Clearly he likes you more than me, we're just getting your standard collector.'

'Well I do get all the fun. Keep in contact.'

'Will do.' He said, before cutting the link. 'Right, they're doing well there, so we need to push forward.'

They kept moving forward through the tunnels, eliminating any resistance that they found on their way.

'The rendezvous point is right up ahead.' Miranda called back to Garrus. 'And there seems to be quite a welcoming party.'

'Be ready everyone, we have to hold there and wait for Shepard to come through.'

'Shit. Scion!' Jacob yelled.

'Watch out for the shockwave. Mordin, incinerate that thing.' Garrus called.

'I am Krogan!' Grunt shouted as he charged into the creature shotgun blaring before it toppled and fell.

'There's the door.' Samara said, pointing up ahead.

'Let's move.'

They ran to the door.

'Garrus!'

Tali appeared from a vent in the side of the ship's wall. She seemed slightly disorientated.

'That way.' He grabbed her arm and pulled her along with him, through the door up ahead. 'Look out, seeker swarms!'

'We're in position. We need this door open now.' Shepard's voice crackled in his ear.

'Go, we'll cover you.' He said, indicating to the Quarian that she needed to open the door before moving to cover the other entrance with the rest of the team.

'Something's wrong! The door's stuck!' Tali's voice was filled with panic, and Garrus saw her fingers moving wildly as she tried to get the door to open.

'Come on, come on.' Garrus muttered.

'Got it.' Tali said as he saw Kasumi and Thane move into view.

'Here they come.' Shepard had her gun raised as she backed through the doorway. 'Fall back!' She commanded.

The others retreated through the passage back Garrus wasn't going to let anything happen to her and moved next to Thane and Kasumi.

'Supressing fire. Don't let anything through that door.' His voice was tight but his aim was steady. He just focused on taking as many of those monsters out as Tali worked desperately beside him. Finally the door closed.

'Nice work Tali, I knew you wouldn't let me down.' Shepard breathed, steadying herself for a moment before moving to follow the rest of the team.

Garrus pressed his mouth against her cheek.

'Good work.' She said to him as the moved together to reach the others.

* * *

><p>They stared at the collector pods in horror for a few moments, unable to process what they were seeing as they watched the human colonist being liquefied alive. It was Shepard's shout that roused them all and them moved quickly, frantically to try and save their crew mates from the same horrific fate. One by one, the pods were forced open, and soon their dazed crew stood before them, very much shaken, but mercifully, very much alive.<p>

'Joker can you get a fix on our position?' Shepard asked their pilot, who then proceeded to put forward their options.

They agreed that the best plan was to use biotics to protect a small group from the seeker swarms.

'Who do you want to maintain the field?'

Shepard thought for a minute.

'Jack, can you handle this?' She asked.

'Hell yeah.' She grinned, then paused for a second. 'I won't let you down Shepard.'

'Good.' The corner of Shepard's mouth twitched slightly. 'Garrus, you up for another diversion run?'

'I'll keep the defenders busy. You slip round the back.'

'Good.' Miranda nodded.

Garrus couldn't help but be a little smug at that. Clearly he'd impressed him. Shepard obviously noticed it too and inclined her head towards him.

'What about me and the rest of the crew Shepard? We're in no shape to fight.' Doctor Chakwas pointed out.

While Miranda wasn't in favour of one of the team going back, Shepard was insistent that she was going to do everything in her power to make sure as many of them got back alive as possible. She glanced briefly at her team, clearly weighing up options, strategies.

'Mordin. Do you think you can get them back safely?' She asked him.

'Yes.' He nodded, taking a deep breath. 'Will make sure everyone gets back alive. Can assess injuries on the way.'

'Yes, that's what I want. When you get back make sure you give everyone a full medical.'

'Of course of course.'

Garrus watched Shepard head off with Jack, Thane and Kasumi.

'You good?' Tali asked him.

'I'm good. Let's go. Same as last time everyone, Keep it tight. Tali I want your defence drones in place as we go alright?'

'Got it.'

'Samara, keep an eye on Grunt, make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble.' Garrus advised.

Grunt just laughed in reply.

'Zaeed, you take point.'

'Anything you say.'

Garrus tried to get through to Shepard but all he could get was static.

'Damn. Too much interference.' He said, as they walked on. 'We'll just have to be ready for whatever comes and hope that they can get through when they need us.'

'There should be less static once they get past the seeker swarms Garrus Vakarian.'

'Thanks Legion.'

'Hell of a lot of those bastards a little way ahead of us Garrus.' Zaeed said.

'The tunnels are pretty tight up here too. Could get crowded.' Jacob agreed.

'They're probably hoping to close us off. Alright, Legion, Samara and I will go up ahead, clear this lot out. Tali, see if Joker can see any other routes to get the rest of you a little further ahead.'

'It's a good thing that Shepard got us to stock up on all these thermal clips.' Garrus said as the three of them took out wave after wave of Collectors and husks.'

'Some of the Collectors have looped around, taking defensive positions.' Zaeed informed Garrus over his radio.

'How many of them are there?' Samara said, her voice sounding heavy with excursion.

He could feel the biotics coming off Samara and knew that even a Justicar would tire under this onslaught.

'We detect few life signs remaining Samara. We will have eliminated all hostiles in the area.'

'Thank the Goddess.'

They wiped out the few remaining Collectors and returned to the others.

'The Collectors used a passage a little way back. It loops from here to the main chamber where we're meeting Shepard.' Tali informed him.

'Alright. We split up into two groups. Jacob, Tali, Legion and Zaeed. Go through that passage. I'll take Miranda, Samara and Grunt through here. Samara and I need a few minutes and hopefully we've cleared out most of the resistance that way. Watch your backs.' He nodded to them as they separated into the two groups. 'Miranda, you lead. Grunt, take the rear.'

The route Garrus took was fairly uneventful, as they had already cleared out so many in that direction. The others had a rougher time but they all got through safely.

'There's the door.' Miranda said, as they turned a corner.

'Everything seems quiet in here.' Samara observed. 'Too quiet.'

'Keep your guard up everyone.'

They moved across the room slowly, waiting for attack at every moment. When they reached the door Tali knelt down to get the lock.

'Damn. We can't open it from this side. We'll need Shepard to get it.'

'Alright we dig in here and I'll try to raise them.' Garrus said, beginning his hails.

'We've got company!' Grunt roared suddenly as Collectors began to poor in from the levels above them. Husks swarmed from one of the entrances. And they hear the familiar groaning of a scion.

'Positions everyone. Take cover.' Miranda ordered as two of the monsters lurked in.

'Come on Shepard.' Garrus murmured as he kept trying to reach her on the radio.

Zaeed was hurled across the room by a shockwave and he saw Jacob clutch his arm where a bullet had gotten through his shields. They were being pushed further and further back.

'Shit Shepard where are you?' He yelled, pulling Zaeed into cover.

One of the husks had grabbed Tali. He picked up his sniper but the husk was torn clean in two by a blast from her shot gun.

'Nice.' Grunt yelled, wrestling a collector to the ground.

'Shepard. Shepard do you copy. Come on Shepard? Where are you?' He yelled again.

'I copy. What's your position?' He suddenly heard her reply.

'We're pinned down at the door. Taking heavy fire.' He told her. 'Everyone, be ready to move when the doors open.'

They all began to move backwards when they felt the door sliding behind them.

'Seal the door!'

Garrus watched gratefully as Kasumi got the doors to shut. Just before they had closed completely, Garrus felt a thump in his side and staggered back, clutching the area tightly. Shepard rushed over to him but he stood up again quickly. The blow had staggered him more than anything. Shepard clasped a hand on his shoulder gratefully before moving on, sheer relief in his eyes.

* * *

><p>They all took a minute to catch their breath before Shepard radioed Joker.<p>

'Are you at the rendezvous point?' She asked him.

They all listened, hoping that everyone made it back safely.

'Come on Morin.' He heard Tali whisper at his side.

He confirmed that everyone had arrived at the Normandy safely. They all breathed a sigh of relief.

'And the ship is working again. That has to be a plus.' Kasumi noted cheerfully.

Shepard and Miranda spoke quietly for a moment.

'Pick a team to go with you Shepard and leave the others here to defend this position. That should buy you some time.' Miranda said finally.

Shepard walked slowly up and down in front of the team. She looked into their faces one by one as she decided what was best. Garrus wanted to go with her, to protect her, but he knew that he should stay back. He could help defend this position. As soon as she looked into his face, she knew that her thoughts were the same as his. She seemed worried about his reaction, but he nodded, telling her that it was ok. That he understood. She nodded back and moved on.

'Alright. Miranda and Tali come with me. The rest of you, stay here and guard this position.'

Garrus nodded. She had made a sensible choice. Tali would be able to help protect her and Miranda had the biotics covered. He knew that she had Miranda's complete loyalty and that she would move like the well trained operative that she was. And he was pleased that she would have Tali there. _He _trued Tali. He wished she had some heavy hitters with her, Zaeed or Grunt or Thane. But he knew it was best that they stayed there, like him and keep anyone from getting through to Shepard.

The two women joined Shepard on the platform.

'The Collectors, the Reapers – they're a threat to everything, - everyone. These are the lives we're fighting for. That's the scale. It's been a long journey. And no one's coming out without scars. But it all comes down to this moment. We win or we lose it all in the next few minutes. Make me proud. Make yourselves proud.'

Garrus walked over to the base of the platform and reached up a hand. She took his in hers, wrapping her fingers round his.

'Come back to me.' He whispered to her.

'Stay alive.' She replied softly.

She pulled his hand up to her face and held it against her check. She squeezed her eyes tight and kissed his fingertips. The she let go, turned around to face the other two and did not look back.

'Thoughts?' Zaeed asked him as the platform whirled away.

He sketched out his ideas, making use of all the available cover. The others gave ideas and in a few minutes they had worked out the their plan of action.

The fire fight was brutal, but with their combined efforts they managed to keep their enemies at bay. Garrus tried not to think about what was happening with Shepard, distraction having potentially lethal consequences. But it was hard not to. What would she find? Was she even still alive. These thoughts tried to command his attention but his years of tutelage under his father and the Turian military meant he was just about able to keep his mind focused and his fingers working. He was having a harder time not thinking about Omega and his team there. He thought it was strange, that this would dominate his thoughts more than Shepard's safety. But he couldn't help thinking about his team and how different a last stand it would have been if they had all been there to fight, instead of them being caught by surprise and him being left to battle alone. But however much these thoughts protruded into his mind, his hands still worked as mechanically as ever, his eyes still found their targets and another enemy was brought down with his sniper rifle.

After some time, Garrus heard Shepard's voice in his ear. He let out a long breath that he didn't even realise he'd been holding. He heard Thane answer her, telling her that a quick exit was preferable. He heard her reply that they should get to the Normandy as she was about to set off the bomb. Relieved that it was nearly over, amazed that they were all still alive, the team started to move slowly but surely back through the Collector base, killing anything that got in their way. The relief he felt seeing the Normandy waiting for them, fully working again, was palpable. Soon he would have Shepard back in his arms and then they could blow this place to Hell.

* * *

><p>'Everyone Ok?' Joker asked as soon as they boarded the ship.<p>

'Just some minor injuries.' Samara assured him.

'Thank God.' The pilot replied.

'Shepard has activated the bomb.' EDI informed them.

'Yeah, the Illusive man contacted her, asking her to the base. Even Miranda told him that it was a crazy idea. He is going to be pissed.'

'Shepard did the right thing in choosing to destroy that place. It was a monstrosity.' Samara said.

'You don't know the half.' Joker shuddered. 'They were building a human reaper. Making it from all those colonists.'

'That's sick!' Jacob spat.

'Why would the Illusive man want to keep that?' Thane asked.

'I imagine it could give quite a bit of information about the Reapers, useful Intel. Maybe even a weak spot?' Garrus conceded. 'But giving that to the Illusive man, that power? That wouldn't be good. No better to blow it up and let the colonists finally get some peace.'

Mordin busied around them, scanning everyone, sending anyone with more serious injuries down to the med bay. He told them that all the crew were okay. More stress and mental trauma than any physical injuries. A few still had some wounds from when the Collectors had first taken them but nothing serious.

They waited in silence for a few moments.

'Is Shepard's team on her way?' Garrus asked EDI.

'No. They are still dealing with the Reaper.'

'What?' He replied, stunned. 'How long do they have before the bomb goes off?'

'Seven minutes and twenty seven seconds.'

'Shit.' Zaeed got up and walked over to EDI. 'Why did she set off that God damn bomb while that thing was still alive?'

'I do not know.'

'Damn it!'

Garrus punched the wall. He'd been so sure it was over, so sure she was getting out. And now she was fighting for her life while a bomb ticked away. Damn women. How could she do this to him? Without the intensity of a fight to keep him focused, to keep him occupied, he felt his body tense. He could feel the panic rising in him.

The wait was agonising. EDI kept them up to date with how long was left but the time seemed to be so slow and yet so fast. He needed things to go quicker, for Shepard to finish and come back to him. And Tali too. And yet he needed the bomb to go slowly, giving her time to escape. Joker was moving the Normandy so that it was a close to them as he could possibly get.

When there was less than two minutes left EDI announced that the Proto Reaper was giving off no more life signs. Joker was on the radio within seconds.

'Shepard. Shepard are you there? Tali, Miranda, is anyone getting this?'

Garrus' heart pounded as he listened to the white noise coming from the other end of the com.

'Shepard.' Joker tried again. 'Please Shepard. Do you copy? Come on don't leave me hanging. Do you copy?'

'I'm here Joker. Did the ground team make it.'

Garrus couldn't help the sob that escaped from his chest. He saw that the others were breathing more deeply than usual.

'EDI take the ship.' Joker said as he scrambled out into the airlock to see Shepard.

Garrus wanted to join him. He wanted his legs to move but he just couldn't get them going. There was only a minute left before the bomb would go off. Did she have enough time? EDI was counting down. 20 seconds, 19, 18. Where the Hell were they. 15, 14. Garrus heard thumps coming from the other side of the doors. 13, 12. The doors opened, Joker, Shepard, Tali and Miranda almost fell in. Shepard hurried past him. Joker began yelling at EDI and got the ship moving out of the Collector base. The ship was surrounded by a bright white light that left Garrus momentarily blinded. But before the resulting explosion could reach them, they'd made the jump to light speed, hitting the mass relay just in time.

'I think that went well.' Shepard's voice cut through the stunned silence and for the next few minutes everything was in uproar. Grunt was yelling, Jacob was cheering. Someone was even singing.

'_Probably Mordin_' Garrus thought idly.

His arm was around Shepard, pulling her to him. He pressed his face against her head. His other arm reached out and pulled Tali into the embrace. He said a silent prayer to the spirits, thanking them for watching over them all.

Once everyone had settled down, Shepard looked around the deck of the Normandy.

'She's a bit beaten up isn't she.' She concluded.

'You should see the lower levels.' Joker laughed.

'Well then, I think everyone knows what they need to do. Have a look see what needs doing everyone. I'm going to talk to our employer. Or ex-employer.'

'Good.' Tali said firmly.

'You're shitting me!' Jack cried at Shepard's retreating back. 'You mean we have to work now?'

'No rest for the wicked Jack.' Shepard called over her shoulder.

'Uh Shepard.' Joker called after her. 'Any idea where we're headed?'

'Omega. We're going to need some supplies. EDI, would you be able to get us some funds.'

'Transferring credits now Shepard.'

'I love having you work here EDI.'

* * *

><p>The ride back was fairly calm. They analysed the damage on this ship, which was extensive and those with the engineering skills began doing what they could to begin repairs. EDI had managed to glean some information about the Reapers from the base, which Shepard promised him she would study <em>later<em>. Garrus was glad that Shepard had severed all ties to Cerberus, but not before EDI had managed to transfer quite a handsome number of credits into Miranda's bank account.

'We're here Commander. Where first?' Joker asked as they docked on the asteroid.

Garrus never thought he would be pleased to see this place again.

'Afterlife.'

The crew cheered.

'The drinks…' She paused, 'are on Miranda.' She laughed. 'Courtesy of the Illusive man himself.'

The bar was packed and noisy. Garrus had lost count how many drinks he'd had but the bar was swirling around him pleasantly. Most of the crew were dotted around the other tables or dancing. He was sitting on one of the sofas, Shepard in his arms.

'Remind me.' He said to her slowly, as trying to get out the correct words was becoming increasingly difficult. 'Why is there an Asari dancing on the table in front of us?'

'It's a present to you.' She slurred. 'No wait to me. To us? I forget.'

'Commander Shepard.' Aria, Queen of Omega had joined them at their table.

'Aria.' Shepard nodded. 'You descend from on high to dally with us mere mortals?' She giggled.

'I see that you have returned from your little trip through the Omega four rely then?'

'How did you know about that?' Garrus asked her. Or one of the hers at any rate.

'Nothing that happens in this area of the galaxy gets past me.' She assured him coldly. Then turning back to Shepard, 'I'd be very interested to know how you managed to come back at all?'

'Why?'

'Because it's in my territory, and therefore anything beyond the relay is mine by right.'

Shepard put her finger to her lips clumsily.

'Shhh. It's a secret.'

'I can keep secrets.'

'But this one's my secret.' She got up, rather unsteadily. 'I'm going to dance.' She declared and wandered off to find Jack.

'How are things going, Archangel?' Aria asked him pleasantly.

'Well I'm not dead. So that's a start.'

'You and Shepard. Now that's an interesting development.'

'Is it?' He drawled.

He had very little time for this Asari.

'Yes.' She said. 'I think it is.'

She stood up and left him. He watched Shepard, amazed at how graceful she could be, even when completely hammered. He squinted at the pile of glasses that were in front of her vacated seat. She really could out drink a Krogan. Garrus closed his eyes, feeling the music pound through his body. What seemed like just a few moments later, he opened his eyes to Shepard stumbling back over to him, holding out her hand.

'On no. There's no way you're getting me up there, I have to be way… way more drunk than this.'

'Some random guy just tried to cop a feel.' She said angrily.

Garrus didn't really react.

'Is he still alive?' He asked, lazily.

'Just out cold.' She assured him. 'Let's get out of here. Back to my bed.'

'Now that I can be persuaded to do.'

They left the club together and tripped their way back to the ship. As soon as they got upstairs, Shepard began pulling her clothes off. Garrus began to take his off too, though found the fastenings to be a lot more difficult than usual. His head was swimming.

'I'm just going to and cool down for a second. I'll be back.' He said as he staggered into the bathroom, grateful that she had one in her quarters. He held himself steady against the sink, letting cool water run through his fingers before splashing some onto his face. He took a few deep breaths to try and steady himself before heading back into the bedroom.

Her gentle snores alerted him to the fact that his Commander was completely out cold, half naked, sprawled across the bed. Garrus chuckled. He carefully pulled of the rest of her clothes and tried his best to get her into the bed as much as possible. He then snuggled down next to her and was soon fast asleep himself.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

Her mouth tasted like someone had died in there. And possibly vomited before doing so.

'Urgh.'

She moved her head to try and work out what was going on. The pounding in her head quickly stopped all her efforts at movement.

'_What the Hell? Where am I? Why aren't I wearing any clothes?' _

She tried to piece together anything that would give her some idea as to what was going on. Her first clue was the sound of a sleeping Turian next to her. That probably meant she was on the Normandy. And the Collectors. She remembered those. They'd blown that Base straight into the mouth of Hell. Then there was telling the Illusive Man where to shove it. That had been good. Then…. Then she'd said about going to Afterlife and then… there had been drinks. Lots and lots of drinks.

'EDI?' She whispered. The pain rattling her brain.

'Yes Shepard?' EDI replied in her clear voice.

Garrus grunted and rolled over.

'Shhhh. Quiet please.'

'I have turned my audio levels down. Is that more appropriate Shepard?'

'What's going on EDI? I don't remember anything from last night. How did I get back here? What time is it?'

'After you defeated the Collectors you decided that you would celebrate by going to Omega. Several hours later, you and Garrus arrived back, clearly with high levels of intoxication. I am unsure how you managed to find your way back from Afterlife to Omega. After this you and Garrus quickly fell asleep. It is 2.15pm standard Earth time.'

'Garrus and I are soldiers. Experienced at this sort of thing. Getting home is an art you learn quickly. Wait 2.15. Bloody Hell, how long have I been asleep?'

'Ten hours and thirst eight minutes.'

'Right. Well that's one way to get me to sleep I suppose. Thanks EDI. The rest of the crew?'

'All arrived back safely, some with assistance. Apparently it was compliments from Aria. All showing high levels of intoxication. Mordin is handing out pain medication as required.'

'Could you ask him to bring some up here. For the both of us.'

'Mordin has requested that all those needing medical attention must see him in his lab.'

'Salarian Bastard.' Shepard hissed.

Shepard got up as slowly as she could. But every movement was agony. Her whole body hurt from the battle yesterday but that was nothing compared to the explosions going on in her skull. Careful not to wake Garrus. She slipped into a jumper and some jogging bottoms and inched her way into the elevator. She was grateful that the lift was at least a lot smoother than the original one from the Normandy.

She passed Kelly Chambers on her way, clearly getting her prescribed dose from the doctor. Shepard grimaced at her. Kelly nodded then grabbed her head with her hands.

'Ah Shepard. Good to see you.'

'How the Hell are you so bright Mordin. Why don't you feel like crap like the rest of us.'

'Salarian's have very fast metabolism. Clear system of toxins quickly. Also drank less than rest of crew. Went to bed early. Felt my skills would be necessary.'

'You're evil making me come down here.'

'Have been accused of much worse already today. Want to give everyone another scan, ensure complete health after Collectors. Sit.'

Shepard sat.

'Take these.' He ordered, giving her some pills.

She took them.

'Can I get some for Garrus too. I think he'll need them.'

'No he must come here.' Mordin replied as he scanned Shepard with his omni-tool.

'Sadistic.' Shepard muttered.

'All done, picture of heath. Implants working well. Should help clear hanger over too. Would advise a teeth clean.'

'Thanks Mordin.'

Shepard shuffled back up to him room and cleaned her teeth several times.

As she went back into the room to fetch some clothes, Garrus woke, sat up and swore loudly.

'I'm right there with you.' Shepard muttered.

'Oh Spirits.' He groaned. 'My head.'

'Yup. Come on. Go get dressed and see Mordin for some pain relief.'

'I don't think I can get that far.' He groaned.

'Yes you can. Go on, it will make you feel better. I'm going to have a shower.'

Garrus made a noise at her but began to get up anyway.

'Shepard, message coming in from Dr Liara T'soni.'

'Patch it through up here EDI.'

'Shepard, it's good to see you… Are you alright?'

'Just a little worse for wear.'

'Ah yes, I remember after the Normandy's first celebratory victory.' Liara laughed. 'I was so pleased to see you get back through the Omega four relay. I had been worried sick all the time you were gone.'

'Those sources you've got are good.'

'Very good.'

'How your hunt for the Shadow Broker going?'

'Slowly. That information you got me is defiantly leading me places. It just takes a while to get people to talk.'

'We'll you'll probably be seeing us soon. I imagine our need for repairs will bring us to Illium.'

'I'll see what deals I can get for you.'

'Thanks Liara. Talk soon.'

The hot water poured down Shepard's body, causing relief in every part of her. The pain meds had kicked in and her headache was already easing. She could feel all the tension in her muscles being washed away with the water.

'Mind if I join you?' Garrus asked from behind her.

She turned and held out her arms for him.

'Feeling better?' She asked.

'A little. Though I think I know a way to make myself feel a lot more better.'

He raked his talons down her arms and Shepard shivered. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself against him.

'What no witty reply?' He teased quietly.

Shepard just shook her head. She didn't want to talk or play or tease. She just wanted him. She pressed her lips against his mouth, feeling the warmth of the water envelope them both. She felt his tongue against hers and she shivered again. Their time together before the omega four jump had been driven by desperate need. This time she was determined to take things slow. She let her fingers run across the length of his arms and across his chest, exploring every detail of his body that she could. He seemed to be doing the same. She hadn't know if she'd ever have been able to do this again. Now that she knew time stretched out for them a little longer, she wanted to take her time.

Garrus buried his head in her neck, running his fingers over her breasts. Slowly, Garrus lifted her off the floor and, hooking her legs around his spurs, pushed her against the wall and entered her. Shepard let out a deep, content sigh. They moved slowly taking, enjoying the sensation of their bodies. Garrus' hands ran across her back, his talons making red trails, showing their path. She just held onto him tightly, never wanting to let go of him again.

As heat and tension began to spread through her body, she pulled him further into her with her heels, making him gasp. She whispered his name and she began to shake before being lost in pleasure. He came soon after her and they both stayed in that position for a few minutes letting the warm water wash over them both.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So ME3 and the Citadel DLC did kind of put an end to the idea that shep could be a good dancer. But I'm going to ignore that.**

******Minor Citadel DLC Spoiler******

**But I would like to know how a terrible dancer like Shepard can learn to Tango within a two minute dance. Therefore I reckon she can't be **_**that**_** bad a dancer! But that scene was just amazing! Actually that whole DLC was. I may have already written parts of it!**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy **

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

'_We're alive_'

This thought kept coursing through Shepard's head through the next several days. The fact that they were alive, that they had all come back from the collector base, was almost more than she could take. She had been prepared for the sacrifice, the deaths, and her own final demise. But they had all walked away with only a few injuries, saving the whole crew at the same time. A complete triumph. But in some ways, she felt so … strange. She felt like she had to adjust her thinking, remind herself that these were not her last few days. That she didn't have to take in every passing moment. She had been so prepared for death that, in some ways, she had to remind herself how to live.

Although, of course, the imminent Reaper threat meant that she still could not plan too far ahead. But for the last few months she had been living as though there was no future on the horizon for her. Just day by day. Now there that was a future, maybe even one for a year or two, she would have to rethink what she was going to do with her life. And Garrus seemed to have planted himself at the very top of her list. She was going to have to think about them in a much more long term way than she ever had before. She loved him. Of that she was certain. And she was equally certain that he loved her back. But loving each other desperately before dying for the cause was one thing. Loving each other in a more normal situation, in everyday life, and maybe even in a potentially public relationship. That was going to be… trickier.

And then of course, there was her situation. Cerberus and her were no more, and she was very happy about that. The alliance between them had given her many sleepless nights and she was glad that it was finally over. She wanted to go back to the Alliance. But she really didn't know if they would take her back.

She glanced over to the pile of data pads on her desk that catalogued everything that had happened to them since she had woken up in the Cerberus facility. She hoped that they would be enough to show that she had worked with Cerberus for the right reasons. And that she had stopped as soon as she was done. They probably would be enough for Hackett and Anderson. But for everyone else? She wasn't sure. She at least knew that she had her parent's backing. The day after they had arrived back from Omega she had called them and reassured them that she was alive and well. She told them as much as she felt that she could about what had happened and had promised them that she would visit them as soon as she was able.

She lay back onto the bed and closed her eyes, thinking about all the things she really should be doing right now.

Miranda had gotten to work on rebuilding the Normandy almost as soon as they'd got back. They'd bought parts on Omega and the engineers were working hard to get her back up to standard. Shepard left them to it, knowing when she would be more of a hindrance than a help. She'd spent most of her time on Omega as she didn't like feeling quite so useless on her own ship. As Garrus had gone to work with the engineers she spent most of the time wandering the market, lost in her own thoughts.

But that morning she had had a message from Liara asking them to come to Illium as she needed Shepard's help, finally having gotten something useful out of the data passed to Shepard by the Illusive Man. Miranda had agreed as there were a lot of supplies that could be ordered from Illium and she had sent Liara a list of things that needed to be purchased so that they would be ready as soon as they arrived.

'Am I interrupting?'

Garrus' smooth voice cut through her internal deliberations.

'Garrus.' Shepard sat up, startled. 'I didn't hear you come in.'

'Anything you want to share? You must have been really concentrating on something for me to sneak up on you.'

'Not really. Just think about… things. Still trying to get my head around being alive.'

'It is a bit strange isn't it. Everyone walking out of a mission when in all probability none of us should have.'

He settled himself next to her and she lifted her head so his arm could fit around her neck. She laid her head on his chest and sighed contentedly.

'You know I can think of a way to make you feel alive.' He murmured.

'Oh really?' Shepard asked, playing along. 'And what might that be?'

Instead of answering, Garrus began running his free hand over Shepard's Ceberus uniform.

'I like the way you think.' Shepard grinned and closed her eyes.

She breathed deeply, and felt as Garrus' hand travelled up to her throat, making her shiver slightly, and then down her side, fastening itself to her side. He shifted her slightly, so that her body was turned in to face him.

'Look at me.' He breathed.

Shepard obeyed.

'So beautiful.' He said, cupping her face in his hand, before moving quickly to her neck and letting his teeth graze against her neck.

That did it. She was up and straddling him in seconds. She pulled him up to her and pressed her lips passionately against his. Responding in kind, Garrus began to tug at the clips on his armour, yanking his chest plate of as quickly as possible while kissing her urgently. Shepard quickly removed all the clothes covering her top half. Garrus groaned and ran his hands over her breasts before running his tongue across her collar bone and down to her nipple. Shepard shuddered with excitement and pulled unhappily at the cloth that he wore beneath his amour. Garrus growled and flipped her over, so she was back on the bed, before standing up to remove the rest of his clothing. Shepard did the same and pulled Garrus on top of her as soon as he was done. She wrapped her legs around his back and grabbed hold of his carapace. Garrus gave her shoulder a quick nip and entered her.

Shepard gasped, always having to take a second to adjust, before moaning in pleasure as Garrus began to thrust into her. She held onto him tightly, pressing her face into his neck. He gripped onto Shepard's back and she could feel his talons pressing against the skin there. Sometimes she wished her really would let loose, with his talons and his teeth, but she knew he never would.

He nudged her neck slightly and she moved her head to look at him. He pressed his mouth plates against her lips and she opened her mouth, letting his tongue brush against hers. She shivered again. Then he brushed his teeth against her ear and her neck. She was shaking now. Her knew just how to drive her to her absolute edge. But two could play at that game. She moved her hands up to the back of his neck and dug her fingernails into the fleshy part under the back of his fringe. He growled with pleasure. She ran her tongue along his mandible, now running her fingers along his fringe.

He responded by thrusting into her harder, placing one hand against the headboard to steady himself. Shepard could feel the heat flooding through, could feel the waves of pleasure building.

'Oh Fuck.' She whispered, pulling on his waist, forcing him to go deeper.

She gasped and was then lost in waves of pleasure. A few seconds later she heard Garrus moan deeply and shudder. He collapsed on top of her, breathing hard.

'Feeling more alive?' He asked her.

'Much.'

She pressed her cheek against his and sighed deeply.

* * *

><p><strong>Garrus POV<strong>

'I think that this is her apartment block.' Shepard said to Garrus as she glanced at her omni-tool to make sure.

The rest of the journey to Illium had been uneventful. Liara had sent her a message to meet her at her apartment when they were ready, so as soon as they'd landed, Garrus, Shepard and Tali had left the Normandy. Shepard had felt that it was only right that Tali and Garrus come and help Liara out with this one.

'She's really doing well for herself.' Garrus said as they walked into the very face lobby of the building. 'A really nice area to live.'

'Defiantly an area that don't usually let Quarians into.' Tali agreed.

When the lift stopped at the correct floor, they were surprised to see a large c-sec presence.

'What's going on here?' Shepard asked the nearest officer.

'Someone tried to kill your friend, Commander Shepard.' An Asari called down from the top floor of the apartment.

The Spectre Tela Vasir began to explain what had happened.

'What happened to Liara?' Shepard asked instantly concerned.

'If I knew that I wouldn't be shifting through her crap.'

They began searching the apartment for clues.

'This place is nice.' Garrus said to her as look looked.

'So nice.' Tali agreed.

'Hey look. It's… It's a piece of my old armour. Why does Liara have a piece of my armour on the wall?'

'It's not a weird a Legion having a different piece of armour on his chest.' Garrus pointed out.

'It's still a bit weird.' Shepard said.

'Did you two ever hook up?' Vasir asked.

'What? No!' Shepard said.

'Then it's weird.' The Spectre decided.

'It wouldn't be weird if we had hooked up.' Shepard asked.

'It would be less weird. More eccentric.'

'Right.'

Shepard didn't seem convinced but they kept looking anyway. They found what they were looking for and made their way to the Dracon Trade centre. As they exited the sky car the whole building exploded.

'Liara's in there!' Shepard yelled.

Vasir took the car up to the top floor and Shepard and her team began working their way up through the blown out building.

'My God. Who would blow up an entire building just to get one person.' She looked around at the dead bodies. 'How many have died for this.'

'Let's keep moving Shepard.' Garrus said softly.

Usually Garrus felt that sometimes the end justified the means but this time he agrees with Shepard completely. Killing so many innocent people. There had to have been another way.

'The Shadow Broker is not a good person to get on the wrong side of.' Tali murmured as the passed through the corridors.

The fighting was fairly rough going, the Shadow Broker's team being a lot better organised than most merc groups but they pushed through. Unfortunately the arrived too late to save Seket.

'By the way, did you find the body of your friend?' Vasir asked casually.

Garrus felt that something was off in the way she asked the question. Clearly the others picked up on it too as they all turned to Vasir, meaning they missed the person coming down another corridor.

'You mean this body?' Liara roared, glowing blue with biotic rage.

'Uh Liara, have I missed something?' Shepard asked, but moved a step closer to Vasir, one hand raised placating, the other up further, towards her gun.

When Vasir's identity was discovered Shepard ploughed into the Asari, sending them both crashing through the glass.

'Damn her.' Muttered Garrus.

Sometimes it was hard being the boyfriend of Commander Shepard.

The Asari was on her feet and Liara tore after her. Garrus and Tali rushed to Shepard, who had been slightly dazed by the fall.

'I'm OK.' She said quickly as they pulled her to her feet.

'Company.' Tali warned and they all fled for cover.

When they caught up with Liara, Vasir had just escaped in a cab. Liara got into the nearest car and Shepard joined her.

'I'm fine by the way.' She said, sarcastically.

'I knew that little fall wouldn't hurt you Shepard.' Liara retorted,

Shepard rubbed her head grumpily.

'Garrus there isn't enough space for the four of us. You go with them, I'll call for the shuttle to come pick me up.' Tali said to him as the two women bickered.

'You sure?' He asked.

'Yes, I think you're sniper rifle will be a bit more suited. Nothing to hack. Plus you're never happy when Shepard goes without you.' She teased.

He knew it was far too true to argue so her just clasped her arm gratefully before getting into the cab.

* * *

><p>'Oh God.' He yelled, half way through the chase, 'This is worse than the Mako. Why the Hell did you let her drive Liara?'<p>

'I don't know!' She screamed back.

'Oh come on this is fun!' Protested Shepard as they screeched around another corner.

'Truck!' Liara shouted, covering her eyes.

'Again?'

Shepard sounded annoyed.

'You know a head on collision…' Liara began as the whirled past the truck.

'Yeah I've heard those things can be pretty bad for you.'

'Down there, follow her.' Liara ordered as Vasir's car veered off.

When Shepard landed the car both her and Liara got out a little unsteadily. Shepard however strode away.

'How does she do it?' Liara asked.

'Beats me.' Garrus answered.

The fight with Vasir was so tough, it reminded Garrus of the fight with the Saren hybrid. But then Spectres were meant to be tough. She kept charging all over the pace. Garrus had to put his sniper rifle away, there was no way he could get a good shot on her.

'Never thought I'd see the day big guy.' Shepard joked, rushing past him with her shotgun.

'Needs must!'

When they finally finished her she sank against a wall, blood splattered all around her. What she said to Shepard made his blood run cold.

'You bitch.' He said. 'Shepard would never do what you did. She would never kill so many innocent people like that.'

'Really? 'Coz I think she would. If she had too.' The Asari spat.

'Then you know nothing about her.' Garrus said. And he truly meant that.

But he could see by the look on Shepard's face that the Asari had rattled Shepard. He put an arm on his shoulder but shook him off. She went to tell Liara that Vasir was dead. He trailed behind them, listening to their argument. Shepard was right, Liara had gotten a lot colder since Shepard had died, but he completely understood that coldness. That ruthlessness. He knew that Liara had had feeling for Shepard. Knowing that she kept a piece of her armour on her wall as well as having risked everything to get Shepard's body to Cerberus meant that he was now certain that those feelings remained and that they were probably very strong. It was possible that Liara loved Shepard. Probable in fact. He didn't have any ill will towards her. And he knew that Shepard had no reciprocal feelings. But he knew how hard it must have been for Liara loosing Shepard. Just like it was for him. And in her own way, she'd gone off the rails too. And even though she had Shepard back as a friend, she would never have Shepard the way he did. Having Shepard, being with her, had saved him in so many ways. He'd been on such a dark road before. And Liara was probably still there. He hoped that having Shepard back would at least make her pause and maybe saving Feron was what she needed to come back. He truly hoped that it was.

They boarded the Normandy shuttle and Liara immediately set a course for the Shadow Broker's ship.

'Uh you don't want to wait for back up first?' Shepard asked her.

'No time.' Liara said.

'So just the three of us. Taking on the Shadow Broker.'

Shepard sounded unconvinced.

'What?' Liara smiled, 'You don't think we can take them?'

'We are a pretty kick ass team.' Shepard agreed.

'Yeah, it'll be just like old times.' Garrus agreed.

After a while, Garrus felt he just had to ask Shepard how she was doing.

'Are you OK Shepard? You seemed a bit shook up after was Vasir said.'

'I really don't want to talk about it.' Shepard said shaking her head.

Clearly his concerned look got to her in the end.

'It just hit a bit close to home. But I'm OK.'

'You're nothing like her.' Liara promised.

'I meant about the whole Cerberus thing.' Shepard admitted.

'The council have known you were with Cerberus from the start. and they know why you were. And we've shown them it was just a one time thing.' Garrus said, firmly.

'But she was right. We've all seen what Cerberus has done. And I bet they have done a lot worse too. I mean the Rachni. And project overlord. What they did to David was beyond sick. They just saw his value, even his own brother. It was monstrous.'

'You didn't have a choice to work with them.' Garrus pointed out. 'And you rescued David.'

'I suppose.' Shepard sighed, but clearly still wasn't happy. 'I really don't want to talkk about it.'

He left it at that.

* * *

><p>Feron was thankfully alive when they found him, as Liara's intel had indicated. He could see how relieved she was. They pressed further into the ship until they came into the office of the Shadow Broker.<p>

'Crap.' Garrus said when they saw the Yagh. 'We really should have waited for backup.'

'You travel with interesting companions Doctor. The bounty for Archangel has never been recovered. Thank you for bringing him to me.'

Garrus trained his sniper onto the huge beast. The Shadow Broker stood up to his incredible height and smashed into the desk, which was the last thing of the fight Garrus remembered.

* * *

><p><strong>Liara POV<strong>

The new Normandy was very impressive, something that even Liara could see, even though she had very limited knowledge about ships. She had left Joker in the cargo bay, having fending off more than enough _embracing eternity _jokes for an lifetime. She just needed a quick drink before going up and meeting Shepard, so she stopped the elevator on level 3 to go and investigate the new kitchen area. She saw Tali standing at one of the med bay windows, her helmet on the window and her fingers pressed lightly against the glass.

'Hi Tali.' Liara said.

The Quarian visibly jumped at the sound of her name. Clearly she'd been lost in some very deep thoughts.

'I didn't mean to startle you.' Liara said, and looked to see what had been occupying Tali's focus so much.

Garrus was lying on one of the beds, recovering from his desk based injury. Tali was now fiddling with her suit awkwardly.

'I just wanted to make sure he was okay.' Tali said hurriedly.

Liara smiled a knowing and slightly sad smile.

'It's alright Tali. I won't tell.'

'I… no… it's just… well.' She stammered.

'I know that you have feeling for him.'

'But I never said anything. To anyone.'

'Yes, but there have been glances. And sighs. I've known for a while.'

'Please don't tell Garrus. Or Shepard. Keelah don't tell Shepard.'

'I won't. And if it helps, I know how you feel.' Liara said with a heavy sigh.

'Still haven't gotten over Shepard?' Tali asked, sympathetically.

'I honestly don't know if I ever will.' The Asari admitted sadly.

'You will.' Tali assured her. 'We both will. Someday.'

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

'Thanks for inviting me back Shepard. It's good to be off that ship for a bit.' Liara smiled.

'You're welcome. I have to say it still creeps me out a little, what with you knowing everyone's secrets.'

'No everyone's.' Laughed Liara. She paused to consider for a moment. 'Most people's though. I just can't believe that you took down the Collector base. You did the absolute impossible. Again.'

'It is becoming a habit.'

'And you'll do it again when you defeat the Reapers.'

'God I hope so Liara.'

'What are you planning to do now?'

'Well apparently that week of sleep I was planning has been cancelled. I got a message from Hackett earlier, apparently I need to break out a human from a Batarian prison.' There was only the hint of bitterness in Shepard's voice.

'Sounds fun.'

'Yeah, and the fun just keeps coming. I have to do it alone.'

'Ah. I bet a certain Turian isn't too pleased about that?' She suggested.

'He's fine.' Shepard said quickly but after a look she admitted, 'Well they do say ignorance is bliss.'

'You haven't told him?'

'Well he's still recovering from the whole unconscious thing. I will tell him. Just before I leave.' Shepard cringed.

'You're living very dangerously Shepard.' Liara couldn't help but laugh. 'How is he anyway?'

'Fine. Still a little put out that he missed the entire fight having a snooze.' Shepard grinned.

'And there I was thinking he was knocked out, heroically trying to protect you from danger.'

'Nah.'

They both laughed.

'Well I'd better be going back, make sure the Galaxy hasn't imploded.' Liara said.

'Is it likely?'

'You'd be amazed how many times the 'Shadow Broker' has to step in to prevent war. It really is a full time job.'

'It was really good to see you Liara. I'll come by and visit soon.'

'Please do. Oh wait, I almost forgot.'

Liara smiled and handed Shepard a box.

'My old dog tags.' Shepard smiled softly, running her fingers over the imprinted metal. 'You found them.'

'Yes, I thought you should have them.'

'Thanks.' Shepard said. 'Shame they're so beat up. It's felt really strange not having them.'

'You'll get new ones soon.' Liara said.

'I hope so.'

Shepard looked down at the chair, feeling anxious. She felt Liara's fingers on her chin, lifting her face up.

'You will.'

'Thanks.'

'And Commander. I just wanted to say, I'm so happy for you and Garrus.'

'Oh, you know about that. Wait, of course you do.'

Liara laughed.

'Yes and you'll be pleased to know it caused quite a stir among Cerberus when they found out. But even if I hadn't been the Shadow Broker, Jeff's told me about twenty times. And we all knew it was coming anyway.'

'Yeah Tali mentioned this. I don't think her portrayal was accurate.'

'I'm sure it was.' Liara groaned. 'You two were terrible. My bet was that you two would get together just before Illos. I put a lot of money on that too. But no. You just went and sat in your room. He just went and sat in his. Pathetic.'

'Oh leave me alone.' Shepard grumbled.

'Take care Shepard. Let me know you get back from this mission okay.'

'You'll know before I do! Bye Liara.'

When Shepard was left alone, she asked EDI to assemble everyone together.

'What's going on Shep?' Kasumi asked.

'I have something for each of you.' Shepard said, passing around data files. 'This is the information that the Shadow Broker had on you all. I haven't read it, but I figured you'd want it.'

They all sat in silence for a few minutes.

'You really didn't read these did you?' Tali said quickly.

'No.' Shepard promised.

There were sighs of relief from several points around the table.

'But Liara will have by now.' Mordin added.

'Keelah.'

It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to read them. She had been so temped. But she'd read her file first and after that she'd simply gotten Liara to download everyone's files onto data pads to give to each of them. After what she'd seen on her file, there was no way she was going to read the others. The very thought of someone reading what the Broker had written had defiantly put her off the idea.

'Never tell anyone.' She'd growled to Liara before leaving the ship.

'Not a word.' She'd promised.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I've left out project overlord as I didn't think that it would add much to this story. Most of what was needed to be said about it was said in the DLC.  
><strong>

**So next is arrival and then we're onto Mass Effect 3!**

**I hope you enjoyed.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Garrus POV**

'No. Absolutely not.'

'Shepard, you can't be serious.'

'This is ridiculous.'

'Worst idea ever.'

It was clear what the rest of the team thought about Shepard's plan to go to the Bahak system alone.

'Look.' She argued. 'I don't have a choice here. Admiral Hackett said that it just has to be me so it just has to be me.'

'It's crazy that he's even asked you to do that.' Garrus pointed out. 'And it's absolutely insane that you're going along with it.'

'This isn't up for debate.' Shepard cut across them all, clearly tired of all the protests. 'Last time I looked I was still Commander of this ship. I'll go in, get her out, look at her evidence and leave. It's too important not to do this. And I can't take any of you with me and that's final.'

Garrus knew better than to argue with her when she was in this sort of mood. He sat with her while she was putting on her armour, thinking of all the things he defiantly wasn't going to say.

'You're not helping.' She sighed.

'I haven't said anything.'

'No, but you're giving me that look.'

'I just have a bad feeling about this.'

She raised one eyebrow.

'When have you ever had a good feeling about anything?'

'I don't know.' He said slowly, standing up, wrapping one arm around her waist. 'I have good feeling about us.'

She couldn't help but smile.

'I wish you weren't doing this Shepard.'

The smile faded.

'I have to Garrus. But don't worry,' she placed a kiss on his bandaged cheek, 'I'll be back before you know it.'

'Me? Not worry?' He joked, trying to make her feel better.

He could tell that she was on edge, despite her teasing. He didn't want to make her even more nervous. But at the same time he felt really uneasy about the whole plan.

'Just… Be careful.' He told her as she boarded the shuttle. 'You do have a tendency to rush in. And I won't be there to save your ass this time.'

'I will don't worry.' She assured her, laying one hand over her sniper rifle. 'You know I'm a better shot that you anyway.'

'In your dreams Shepard.' He said, before pressing her mouth against her forehead. 'Look after yourself.'

* * *

><p>Time always seemed to pass more slowly when Shepard was out on a mission without him and this one was even worse because he was more worried about her than usual. Tali's joke about him when taking on the Shadow Broker had been far too accurate. He knew that he was really bad company when Shepard didn't take him with her. So he was surprised when there was a knock on the door.<p>

'Come in?' He called.

The Normandy's pilot hobbled in.

'Everything Okay Joker?' Garrus asked, instantly alert.

'Yeah. Just got a message from Shepard. She's got Kenson out from the prison without much difficulty. They're going to the project's base now.'

Garrus sighed with relief.

'Good. Thanks for letting me know.'

'Figured you'd want to know.' Joker shrugged. 'She said she'd get back in touch with us once she'd seen what Kenson needed to show her. She reckoned she'd get in touch with us in about an hour, two at most. So why don't you stop calibrating that gun for like the millionth time and come and play some poker with us.'

'Alright.' He said, feeling a lot happier.

'Good.' Joker laughed. 'I was going to have to knock you out if you hadn't agreed. I don't think EDI could stand you asking for more numbers to be processed.'

Garrus joined Gabby, Ken, Tali, Jacob and Joker in a game and even managed to win a few hundred credits. He left with Joker after about an hour and a half to go back up to the bridge and wait for Shepard. He knew his presence would probably annoy the pilot after a while but he was starting to feel nervous again and wanted to hear from Shepard first hand that she was okay.

The next half an hour passed very slowly. And time seemed to slow down every more as the next few hours trickled past.

'Where the Hell is she?' Joker asked after three hours had passed since they last heard from her.

He was watching Garrus pace up and down in the cockpit.

'Alright, where did she go?' Garrus asked him. 'She won't like it but we have to go and get her. Something's obviously gone wrong.

'That's the problem.' Joker explained. 'EDI tracked her signal to an asteroid belt but not out again. The shuttle clearly stopped somewhere inside the belt but there's too much interference to figure out where.'

'Damn.' Garrus said, falling into a chair heavily.

'Yeah and of course Shepard forgot to give us any coordinates.'

'Of course she did.' Garrus sighed.

'EDI. Set a course for the asteroid belt. Maybe you'll pick something up there.' Joker said.

EDI remained silent, and Garrus figured that it was because she did not feel that it was likely.

'And it means if we do get a message from Shepard, we can get to her straight away.' Joker added, sounding less than hopeful.

Over the next several hours, all of the crew came to ask for news from himself and Joker. They all tried to comfort Garrus but without much enthusiasm. Tali came and stayed with them for a while. She didn't say anything, knowing that he would be unable to find peace until Shepard returned safely.

'Would advise sleep.' Mordin told Garrus, Tali and Joker eventually.

Shepard had now been out of contact for just over fourteen hours, meaning that the three of them had been awake for about twenty hours straight.

'I don't think I could.' Joker protested.

'Me either.'

'Sleep best method for ensuring Shepard safety. If rescue mission required, then exhausted rescuers will cause more trouble than there already is.'

'I'll take watch'. Miranda offered. 'I had a sleep earlier just in case it came to this.'

'And EDI will keep scanning.' Mordin added.

Joker and Tali agreed, taking themselves off wearily to their beds, Mordin handing them some pills as they went. Garrus refused to budge. Miranda tried talking some sense into him but he had decided that he wasn't going to move until they found Shepard, even if it killed him. Mordin took note of the situation, nodded and walked away. He returned a few minutes later with Doctor Chakwas, who he'd clearly just woken up.

'Garrus.' She said, rubbing her eyes sleepily. 'What are you doing?'

'I'm not moving.' He said, defiantly.

'Stop being an idiot.' She replied. 'What use will you be to Shepard if you are out on your feet?'

'I'll be fine.' He muttered, although he realised that he sounded like a petulant child.

'And if she calls for help and you're too tired to help? Or even worse, you go and make things even worse.'

'I can handle this.' Garrus said, feeling angry.

'Garrus.' Mordin began.

'I can handle this.' Garrus yelled, slamming his fist into one of the monitors that lined the cockpit.

Her saw Miranda visibly flinch away from him in fright. Mordin stood his ground, not moving an inch, but Garrus could tell that he was calculating quickly. A part of him realised he was losing it, that he was becoming dangerous, that his anger and fright for Shepard were making him loose control. It was something that all Turians had drilled into them from a young age. Control. Turians insisted that all youngsters receive military training so that they could be taught how to control their emotions. They let them spar on military ships because they knew how important it was for Turians to channel their energy, their fears, their anger. Because an uncontrolled Turian could almost be as dangerous as a Krogan.

So when Doctor Chakwas grabbed him by both shoulders and tugged him round to face her, the shock was enough to make him pause. She was staring at him quite calmly, clearly unafraid.

'Get a hold of yourself Garrus.' She said.

'She's out there. And she's all alone.'

'I know. But this isn't helping.' She told him firmly. 'You're exhausted and stressed which is not a good combination. Take these and go to bed.'

She handed him some of the pills Mordin had already given Tali and Joker.

'No.' He shook his head.

'You won't sleep without them. Not being in the state that you're in.'

'If she needs me...' He begged.

'Then you will wake up. They are very mild. Just something to help. Garrus, look at me.' She demanded. 'I don't know what you're going through. But I need you to trust me, trust that, right now, I'm doing what's best for you. Have I ever done wrong by you?'

He shook his head and headed to his room. He got undressed slowly and took the pills. While he waited for them to kick in, he wandered around the deck. He found himself in the AI core. He wanted to see if Legion could help in any way. He didn't know if he trusted the machine completely. But he would take any help right now.

'We are already running at full capacity Garrus Vakarian. EDI is linked into our systems to increase processing power.' Legion told him.

'Thanks.' Garrus replied.

He went back to his room, but it just didn't feel right, so he went back to the elevator and pushed to go up. Shepard's room was lit by the pale glow of the fish tank. He pushed the button to feed them and then crawled into her bed and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>He slept poorly that night with very few actual dreams, just a general anxiousness that prevented him from getting any real rest. He checked the time as soon as he woke up. Shepard had now been gone for twenty one hours.<p>

'Anything?' He said out loud.

'Nothing as yet Garrus.' EDI told him.

'Shepard.' He whispered. 'Where are you.'

Garrus took up his position in the cockpit again and Joker soon joined him. They spoke little, but he found that the silences were not uncomfortable, Joker seeming less irritated by his presence than ever before.

'Anything?' Thane asked a while later, coming into the cockpit.

'Nothing.' Joker told him wearily.

'Have you had anything to eat?' He asked Garrus.

'What? Oh no. Nothing.'

'Then go and get yourself something. I will take watch for a while.'

Garrus knew that snapping like yesterday would not be a good option. He glanced guiltily at the smashed terminal in the corner.

'Thanks.' He said, giving his seat to Thane. 'Joker, have you eaten?'

'Yeah, had something when I got up.'

Garrus headed downstairs and sat for a while staring at the nutrient paste. He did not want it.

'Here.' Tali said, sitting down next to him.

She handed him a bar of something.

'I save them.' She told him. 'For either a special occasion or an emergency.'

'What is it?' He asked looking at the brown gooey lump inside the wrapper suspiciously.

'It's considered a delicacy on the flotilla because it takes a lot of time and effort to produce than so many other things do. But it's completely delicious.'

He bit into it gingerly, but was presently surprised by the sweet taste.

'Thanks. I really needed that.'

'I make such a mess when I eat it. It's hard to get it through the filters and they got so clogged with it. But, totally worth it. And I think this can be considered an emergency.'

'Yeah.' Garrus sighed.

'I think she's okay.' Kasumi materialised beside him.

'I hate it when you do that.' Tali told her.

'But it's fun.' Kasumi protested. 'And Garrus. I know this must be hard, but you have to remember that this is Shepard we're talking about. She knows how to handle herself.'

'I know. It's just been so long. Without a message or anything.'

'She's probably just had to go dark for one reason or another.' Tali comforted.

'I know. And I'm sorry I'm not handling this well. I know you're all just as worried as me.'

'You just chose a bit of a shit girlfriend.' Jack said, joining them from the elevator. 'I mean Shepard's always going to be pulling this sort of crap right.' She reasoned. 'Which is not good for the worrying boyfriend back home.'

'The point is that this boyfriend shouldn't be left at home. I should be there with her. Then I can be worrying boyfriend at her side with a sniper rifle.'

'Yeah well we all told her what a stupid idea it was to go alone.' Jack shrugged.

'But Hackett insisted,' Kasumi added.

'Has anyone actually talked to Hackett?' Tali asked. 'I mean couldn't he help?'

'Apparently not.' Garrus told them. 'The asteroid that the base is on is moving and apparently the team haven't been keeping him updated regarding it's coordinates. And there's just too much interference for them to monitor its position so they relied on the coordinate updates.'

'Is all this interference normal?' Kasumi asked.

'EDI doesn't think so.' Garrus said, darkly.

'Anyway.' Jack said, pulling Garrus up by an arm. 'I came to find you.'

'Uh why?'

'Because you're stressed to Hell. And I know how to help.' She told him.

Everyone burst into laughter at the look of sheer horror on Garrus' face.

'Hey, I am not the pervert Shepard is.' Jack said, disgusted. 'Absolutely no fucking way I'd get into bed with a Turian.'

'Good to know.'

She let him down to the cargo bay, followed by Tali and Kasumi. Grunt was standing in the middle of the room. A large space had been cleared in the middle.

'Bring it.' Grunt said, laughing.

Garrus found himself feeling a lot calmer after going through several rounds with Grunt. The Krogan was phenomenally strong but still had a lot to learn in terms of tactics and movement. His main strategy was charge, meaning Garrus could side step him quite easily. Although when he did connect it hurt. A lot. To be fair to Grunt his strategy was the general Krogan strategy but Garrus had sparred with Wrex once, and the older Krogan was a lot better at planning and timing. But when Grunt did master these things, he would be pretty unstoppable.

* * *

><p>The hours rolled on and the silence in the cockpit filled Garrus' head. It made him want to scream. And there was nothing to do but wait.<p>

That night, he went to doctor Chakwas and held out his hand for the meds. He wasn't going to argue.

'I don't think I can do another day of this.' He said quietly.

'Just stay strong.' She told him.

He sleep was just as disturbed as the night before. He kept waking up, absolutely terrified.

'EDI. How long has it been?' He asked groggily when he finally woke up.

'Shepard has not been in contact for thirty nine hours.'

'Vakarian.' Zaeed nodded.

'Did you sleep well Garrus?' Samara asked.

'No.' He admitted. 'Anything?'

'I'm sorry.' Samara said sadly.

Garrus put his head in his hands and swore. He wished that there was somewhere he could go. Just to walk somewhere, maybe get some fresh air. The Normandy had never seemed so claustrophobic. There was nowhere to go but the cockpit. Nothing to do but sit and wait.

* * *

><p>When they hit the forty hour mark, Miranda called them all to the meeting room.<p>

'Okay, I hate to be the one to say this, but we need some sort of plan here.' She began.

She quickly looked up at Garrus and held her palms up placating.

'I'm not saying that we do anything yet. But at some point.'

'I know.' He told her, heavily.

'We don't know if… if she's alive at this point.' Miranda said, the words clearly affecting her.

'So what do we do?'

'I'd say give it another twenty four hours. Then I think we have to call it a day. I know Joker's been keeping the Alliance posted. Hopefully they will be able to set up a proper operation. To search. But _we_ give her another day. In case something is happening down there. The Alliance bursting in everywhere potentially wouldn't be good if she's doing something delicate. But after that. I don't think we have any other options.'

Garrus sank into the chair next to Joker. The pilot looked exhausted, completely out of his mind with fatigue. He looked, Garrus imagined, exactly like he did. Garrus had been avoiding mirrors for the last day.

'How are you holding up?' Joker asked him.

'Not really sure how to answer that one.'

'Yeah.' Joker let out a bitter laugh. 'Stupid question. Just this must be harder on you than all of us. I'm completely losing it here. For you… God.'

Garrus nodded.

'You love her, right?'

The question threw Garrus for a moment as it was just so unexpected.

'Yes. Completely.' He smiled slightly. 'Why, you going to challenge me for her?'

'Uh Hell no.' Joker laughed as he held his hands up in surrender. 'I think I'd loose. Painfully. I've really never thought of her that way. I mean she's our _Commander_. And even more than that. I mean she's _Shepard._ Honestly don't think I could get past that.'

'It took me a little while to wrap my head around it. But once I got that bit covered. It was pretty easy going from there.'

'She is an extraordinary woman.' Joker conceded. 'Even if she does scare the crap out of me. A little.'

'You and me both.'

'But we all knew it was going to be you and here. From pretty much the beginning.'

'Only pretty much?'

'Well you know. There was the whole Kaidan thing. And Liara. But it was pretty clear that she wasn't in to them. And it was clear that you _really_ liked her. I mean I don't really know Turian behaviour but you were such a suck up.'

'I was not.' Garrus protested.

'Yeah. Right.'

'I really didn't think of her like that back then. She was much more of a mentor.' Garrus insisted.

'Seriously Garrus. If she'd instigated something, there's no way you'd have refused.'

'Would you have? Would anyone?' Garrus asked.

'I am a man of principles. Unless she threatened me. Then maybe. But under protest…. Probably. But she defiantly liked you as well.'

'I just can't believe… Out of all the people in this galaxy… Out of Liara, Kaidan, Thane and who knows who else… Why she picked me?'

'Yeah we'll, we're all scratching our heads on that one.' Joker laughed. The paused. 'No wait. Forget that.' He continued more seriously. 'She chose you because you're a great guy. Also a little scary, but clearly that's something you two share. She chose you because you were there, whenever she needed you. Because you always had her back. She's trusts you in a fight over everyone else.' He paused again. 'God this is getting gushy. My point is this isn't the time for me to undermine you're confidence in your relationship with some lame ass joke. She chose you because you are the right guy.'

'Thanks Joker. Not sure if I should hug you or get a restraining order.' Garrus chuckled. 'But I really needed to hear that.'

'No problems. No we should go back to staring at screens. In a manly, silent way.'

'Agreed.'

* * *

><p>Time ticked on. And on. And on. Hours slipped away in a blur of checking and rechecking calculations. The silence was killing him.<p>

'She's been gone for over two days now.'

Garrus was nearly in tears.

'I know.' Miranda replied, and she rested a tentative hand on one of his shoulders.

'Anything?' Joker asked, heading back to the cockpit.

'Joker.' Miranda said, sternly. 'You've only been away for two hours. You need to get some sleep.'

'I just couldn't. Even with the doctors pills.'

'But you won't be able to function properly. We need you alive.' She said.

'What do you want me to do Miranda?' Joker said, angrily.

Garrus could hear the strain in the pilot's voice.

'Calm down Joker.' Garrus told him 'We thought we had something an hour ago but too much damned static. EDI's all over the place. I should get something to eat. You two okay up here?'

'Sure.' Miranda nodded.

Garrus headed to the elevator.

* * *

><p><strong>Miranda POV<strong>

'He's not doing well.' Miranda said after twenty minutes had passed.

'No shit.'

'Look I really can manage. You should go and…'

'Shepard to Normandy. Joker, do you read me?'

They stared at each other for a moment, lost in utter shock. Joker darted forward.

'Shepard. Shepard do you read me? Damn it.'

'Joker. Joker!' Miranda demanded.

'EDI give me something.' Joker yelled frantically.

'The signal has been cut off by huge amounts of interference.' The AI told him calmly. 'However I was able to pinpoint a location in a few moment of boosted signal. I also learnt that the asteroid Shepard is currently on is now on a trajectory for the nearest Mass Relay.'

'Holy Hell.' Miranda murmured. 'Joker move!'

'Already there.'

The ship lunged forward, Joker moving it from stationary to absolute full pelt.

'How long do we have?' Miranda asked EDI.

The figures displayed on the screen. There were far too few of them.

'Hurry Joker.' Miranda urged him. She said a silent prayer to any Gods who happened to be listening.

* * *

><p><strong>Garrus POV<strong>

He stared down at his meal. He really couldn't face eating. It was bad enough at the best of times. Gardner did his best, but he wasn't the greatest cook by any standard. And he really wasn't used to cooking dextro foods. Garrus usually cooked his own meals but he'd been just too tired. When Gardner had seen him reaching for the nutrient paste again, the human had taken pity on Garrus and told him that he would cook something for him. Garrus was grateful but the nutrient paste may have been a preferable option. But even if he'd been cooked something by one of the top Turian chefs, he still probably wouldn't have wanted it. He just couldn't face eating right now.

'You need you're strength.' Thane told him from his doorway.

Garrus sighed heavily.

'I know.'

'Can't face it?' The Drell asked.

'Really no.'

'I won't…'

Thane was interrupted as they both felt the ship suddenly surge into life, heard the engines reacting to a sudden need for power. Neither men spoke as they bolted to the elevator. Joker filled them in but as more and more people filled the cockpit he yelled at the all to be quiet. They all watched as they flew closer and closer to the relay.

'Come on. Come on.' Joker muttered as he swung the Normandy round, descending for the lump of rock.

The Normandy doors opened and Shepard burst through. She noted them all but said nothing as she ran past them to the galaxy map. They all moved down towards her silently. Shepard stared at it, watching the Relay disappear, taking all the local planets with them. Shepard clung onto the railing, breathing deeply. After a few moments, Doctor Chakwas prised her hands away and led her gently to the medical bay. Garrus could do nothing but trail after them and watch through the window. There was little joy in knowing she was safe when he saw that completely empty expression on Shepard's face as Chakwas took her away. He'd seen that expression before. It was not good.

After talking with Hackett Shepard ordered her crew into the meeting room. She explained briefly what had happened, why she'd been out of contact for so long and why she'd done what she'd done. Shepard spoke in an absolute monotone, staring blankly at the wall. Garrus felt truly frightened. He'd never seen her like this. He'd tried to talk to her after she'd met with the Admiral but she'd physically flinched at his touch and walked away without a word.

'So Hackett has ordered us to Earth, to be taken in for questioning. His ship will be escorting us to the Citadel, where I advise all of you to get off. None of you are Alliance, and this was an Alliance mission so none of you are accountable. Anyone who chooses to stay will also be questioned. Any Cerberus who stay may well be questioned on that too.'

Someone began to speak but she held up her hand.

'Please. No interruptions. I know that the last few days must have been hard on you. I'm so grateful to you all. But this is where we part. We'll be there in a few hours. I suggest you pack you're things.'

She stood up and walked out of the room. Garrus went after her.

'Just don't.' She said when she saw him, shrugging away from him.

Garrus was left staring after her. He went and packed up his things. He looked at the neatly wrapped box that Liara gave him. But he knew that this wasn't the time. He threw it in his bag.

After he was finished he went straight up to Shepard's cabin. He found her standing in the middle of the room, just staring at the fish.

'Shepard.' He said softly.

He kept his distance.

'Please go away.' She said in that same monotone as before.

'No.'

'Go away. That's an order.'

'Damn it.' He said, his emotions getting the better of him.

He tried to calm down but the fear and stress of the last few days, combined with the lack of sleep and Shepard's emotionless state meant that he didn't have a good handle on his emotions. He took a deep, shaky breath.

'Talk to me.' He pleaded.

She sighed, as though dealing with his was such an annoying task.

'I have nothing to say.'

'Bull Shit.'

'I'm fine Garrus.'

Her voice was so empty, like she wasn't there. That's what scared him the most.

He began to slowly unclip his armour, throwing it casually on the floor. He stripped of his under suit too.

'Hit me.'

She gave him a blank look.

'Sparring always helps.'

'I don't need help.'

'Look I've even given you a head start.' He said, trying to make his voice sound light and friendly, trying to keep out the panic he knew was trying to creep in.

He reached out for her. She pulled away. He grabbed her, making sure she didn't slip out of his grasp again. His hands were shaking as he pressed her back against the fish tank.

'Please Shepard. Don't push me away. I know you're hurting right now. Talk to me.' He begged angrily.

He was losing control again. And as she tried to fight her way out of his grasp he could feel his urge to bite her, to dominate her, growing stronger. Lust and fear were mixing together in his body and he knew that that was a dangerous combination.

'_No!'_ He thought, fighting against his instincts. '_She's in pain. She needs you to be there for her._'

'I'm not going anywhere.' He said, grasping her arms more firmly.

'Leave me alone.' She spat.

He felt a small wave of relief. Any emotion was good. He needed her to get out of herself, needed to make him angry, to vent whatever she was feeling on him.

'Make me.' He taunted, digging his talons into her wrist slightly.

'_Keep it together_.' He told himself firmly.

He pinned her legs with his own. She was forced to try and twist out from under him, attempting to wrap a foot around his ankle to unbalance him.

'Get the fuck off me Vakarian.'

'Not until you deal with whatever you need to.'

The kiss was ferocious, as though she was trying to pour all her pain into him. He tried to hold back because he knew that he didn't have enough to keep himself in check but he was soon swept away. His hands moved to her back as she pulled off her top, raking the smooth flesh with her talons. She hissed as it stung her. He felt a sharp sensation in his neck as Shepard's small teeth dug into his skin. It was too much for him. He wrapped his talons in her hair and pulled, forcing her away from him. He picked her up and pulled off any piece of clothing he could reach. A tiny part of his brain was yelling at him that this was a really bad idea but it was drowned out by the roaring in his ears, by the need and the longing. He lay one hand on her chest and then turned her around and leant her against the desk, grabbing her neck as he entered her. She pressed her hands down onto the desk and pushed up against his hand so that her body was closer to him. Garrus bit down onto the skin between her neck and shoulder. She gasped and then moaned deeply. Garrus let go of all that had happened over the last few days and lost himself inside her.

The stayed joined for the next few hours, varying between passionate and furious and slow and gentle. They never spoke. Finally he moved from her body and held him in her arms. He held her close to him, pressing her soft skin as close as he could against his own. Small drops of blood had dried from the wound on her neck and her back, he knew, was covered in scratches. He looked down. Her stomach hadn't fared much better. He frowned unhappily. Shepard followed his gaze and put a finger to his lips.

'That was exactly what I needed.' She said quietly, her voice full of sorrow.

'What's going to happen?' He asked her.

'I don't know.'

'I'm coming with you. To Earth.'

She shook her head.

'You need to go to Palaven. Get your people ready if you can. The Reapers are coming. Soon.'

He knew she was right. They couldn't be selfish, not when it came to the Reapers. He nodded once, unable to speak.

'We'll be at the Citadel soon.' She said.

'We haven't talked about what happened.'

'I can't.'

He didn't want to leave her like that, but there wasn't time to talk.

'You have to deal with this.' He said firmly. 'And move on.'

'I killed hundreds of thousands of people Garrus.' She said, her voice hollow. 'Innocent people. I don't think that that's something I can just move on from.'

'I…' He didn't know what to say.

'I can't even cry.' She snorted bitterly, tracing her fingers along his tattoo. 'It's just too raw.'

She placed a gentle kiss on his lips and then began getting dressed. Garrus followed suit, tears falling silently from his eyes.

* * *

><p>They docked at the Citadel and Shepard began saying her goodbyes to her crew. Only Doctor Chakwas, Joker, Gabby and Ken were staying with the Normandy. Everyone else was going their separate ways.<p>

Garrus walked away, looking for someone.

'Admiral, can I talk to you for a minute?'

'Of course. It's good to see you again Garrus. And under slightly better circumstances.'

'Anything's better than Shepard's funeral.'

'True.'

'We were afraid we were going to have to have another one.'

'Yes. I was kept updated.'

'How could you send her in there alone Admiral?' Garrus asked.

The old man sighed.

'I thought it was the best thing to do.' He paused. 'Clearly I was wrong.'

'What's going to happen to her?'

'We will take her in for questioning. This and working for Cerberus aren't going to work in her favour. But she still has friends in the Alliance. The Batarian's will want blood of course. But hopefully there won't be enough to link to Shepard.'

'Take care of her. Please.' Garrus heard his voice catch.

Hackett looked at him kindly.

'I wouldn't do anything else. I trust her. And I know that she's right. Something big is coming and we _have_ to be prepared.'

'I need a favour.'

'Yes?'

'I want permission to write to Shepard.'

'Garrus. You know I can't.'

'I have to talk to her Admiral. We have no idea how long this will last.'

'Let me think about it. I can't promise anything.'

Garrus just nodded at Shepard as he left the Normandy; they'd already said their goodbyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

Shepard tried to block out all her thoughts as they journeyed to Earth. Concentrating on packing up her few belongings. There were too many things she didn't want to think about. All the people who'd died, Dr Kenson, her friends, what was going to happen to her and that future with Garrus that she'd had for just a few short weeks that, now snatched away from her. At all times she tried to keep a tight control on her emotions, tried to make herself feel as little as possible. She kept herself away from the rest of the crew, staying in her cabin as long as she could.

She was taken from the ship under escort when they eventually arrived, though she was thankful that she wasn't in handcuffs. Rumours had already begun to spread and her guard had to fight their way through a mess of reporters and spectators.

She was handed over to a Marine, Lieutenant James Vega, who was to be her official guard. He led her through a building, pointing out where she was and wasn't allowed to go, up to a room.

'You're here.' He said, nodding at the door.

'Thanks.'

He saluted.

'You're probably not supposed to do that.'

'Sorry about that Ma'am.'

She opened the door. The apartment was large and well lit by a big window. On the sofa was her father. She took one look at his anxious face and burst into uncontrollable sobs.

'It's okay.' Her dad said, pulling her into a tight hug. 'It's all going to be okay.'

* * *

><p>'Lieutenant Commander Shepard, it's been too long.'<p>

'Anderson. I've been retired far too long for you to call me that!' Shepard's father laughed, reaching out for the man's hand. 'Admiral Hackett. It's good to see you again sir.'

'How's Hannah?' Anderson asked.

'Good. Busy as ever. She wanted to come too, but a Captain can't just leave.'

'So, Shepard. We need to know everything that happened. I know you've already told Hackett but we need to go through everything. The Admiralty board will have a lot of questions. I know it's been a while but if you can try and remember as much as possible since Ceberus brought you back.'

Shepard moved to her bag and pulled out several data pads.

'I can do one better. I recorded everything since I woke up in a Cerberus lab.'

The day had been long and tiring and she knew she was going to have to face going over things again and again. Hackett had decided that she would see a psychiatrist in the morning which she wasn't looking forward to. But she knew that she probably needed it. Her father was going to stay for a few weeks which she was pleased with. He would be staying a short distance away.

Shepard sleepily turned on her computer. The Alliance had taken her extranet email account from her as they needed to look through all her messages. Apparently all the ones from the Illusive man had been erased. Also it had been clogged with messages, mostly from reporters wanting 'her story'. They'd given her a new one so that they could message her when they needed.

She was surprised to see one new message, subject line 'hey'. Intrigued she opened it.

_I arranged with Admiral Hackett that I would be allowed to email you once a week to keep you updated with what we're all doing. I'm only allowed to really keep you updated with our friends I'm afraid, no talking business. Also someone will be reading everything we send to each other to make sure we don't talk business. But Hackett promised that everything we send will be strictly confidential and nothing will be leaked to the press. You can email me back once a week. Strict I know but better than nothing ._

_G._

Shepard smiled. She'd had no idea how she would cope without him, clearly he'd been a few steps ahead of her.

_Hey yourself._

_You are officially wonderful for organising this. Would go crazy without updates from friends. Dad was here when I got back which was good. Hackett's arranged for me to see a shrink. Fun. Keep me posted how everyone's doing. _

S.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As always hope you enjoyed. **

**I know that in the game Shepard didn't have much idea what anyone was doing but I really didn't think they'd really have gone six months without communicating. **

**Any thoughts, leave a review **


	16. Chapter 16

**Garrus POV**

Garrus chuckled as he finished re-reading the last email from Shepard. He knew that she was having a tough time with everything, having been kept under house arrest for over five months now, but she still knew how to make him laugh. She'd be sending him a new one any day now and it was a little bit pathetic how much he was looking forward to it.

'What's so funny?' His sister asked, attempting to look at what he was reading over his shoulder.

'Nothing.' He said, closing down the email. 'Just a message from a friend.'

'Really?' She clearly disbelieved his story.

Somehow he'd managed not to get around to telling his family that he now had a human for a mate, although he was pretty sure that Solana at least suspected something.

'Really.'

'Whatever.' She sighed. 'So what have you got planned for today?'

'I'm having a meeting with one of our engineering corps in a couple of hours to make sure they're as secure as possible. It's one of the things the Reapers might hit so I'm going to see if they can get some extra fire power there.'

'How do you know what the Reapers will do? I mean if we know so little about them?'

'Liara mostly. She's going to every Prothean relic she can find, digging up any information, its mostly just fragments but she knows what she's looking for, knows the pattern and she's piecing it all together . It was a bit different for the Protheans because of the Citadel being taken first. Obviously we managed to stop it this time, but we know then they hit industrial centres for making Prothean type husks and disrupting any efforts to counteract them.'

'I remember Dad being so pissed when you went off with Shepard to hunt down Saren. But it really was the right thing wasn't it.'

'Yeah.' Garrus laughed. 'It really was.'

'I wish we could be doing more to prepare though.'

'Me too. But the Alliance really is starting to get into gear. They have science teams looking into Prothean things too and I know that their fleets are organising.'

'Why can't the Hierarchy be doing the same.'

'I think it's a bit different. I mean Both Hackett and Anderson believe in the Reapers completely. None of our leaders do. Plus when we took down Sovereign, it was the Alliance that we doing most of the fighting. They saw that it wasn't a normal ship.'

'Yeah but the council were there too.'

Garrus just shook his head.

'But the Primarch is doing more now. Dad's slowly bringing him round.'

When Garrus had first arrived back on Palaven, he hadn't known what to do. He knew he'd needed to do something but just yelling at anyone he could find about the imminent apocalypse probably wouldn't get him very far. He's gone to back to his family home feeling dejected.

**4 months previous**

Garrus stood at his front door feeling very nervous. He hadn't told anyone that he was coming back and he knew that he was going to face a lot of questions. Particularly about where he'd been for the past several months and why he was missing half of his face. He sighed and rang the bell.

'Garrus!' His sister said happily when she saw him. 'I can't believe your… what happened to your face?'

'Long story.' Garrus muttered, pulling his little sister into a hug. 'How are you? How's Mom?'

'We've had wonderful news. Mom's been accepted onto that new program run by the Salarians I told you about. They have this experimental new treatment which they think she's a prime candidate for and she was accepted because of this anonymous donation.'

'That's great.' Garrus said. 'Is she still here or has she left already?'

'She leaves in a few days. She'll be so pleased to see you.'

She lead him through the house and into the living room.

'Garrus.' His mother said from her chair. 'Spirits, what happened to you.'

'Let me see that.' His father said, inspecting the bandages covering the scars. 'What have you been doing?'

'Off playing Spectre again. As usual.' Solana teased.

'I uh… had a slight run in. With a gun ship.'

'A gun ship?' His mother asked.

'Yeah.'

'That Spectre got you into trouble again. Didn't she?'

'No Dad. I managed to get myself into that trouble. She managed to pull me out of it.'

His father looked unconvinced. Garrus went over and gave his mother a hug before sitting down on the sofa.

'Look Dad. I was wondering if I could talk to you.'

'Of course son. What about?'

Garrus took a deep breath. He and his father had a somewhat difficult relationship but he also had a lot of pull with the Hierarchy and the Primarch. There was a small possibility that he might believe the whole story. Alright a very small possibility. But Garrus knew it was his best shot.

'I've never really told you about well everything that happened chasing down Saren. And everything that's been happening with Shepard, have I?'

'No. You've always been incredibly vague about it all.' His father replied.

Solana, who had been walking out of the room stopped and sat down again.

'Now this should be good.'

And so he began. He tried to remember as much as possible from Therum to Ilos and from Omega to Shepard destroying the Alpha relay, although missing out as much of his Archangel days as possible. He told them everything he knew about the Reapers. All his family listened in stunned silence until he had finished.

'Is all that true?' His mother asked, shocked.

'Every word.' He said solemnly.

'Spirits.' Solana whispered.

Garrus looked at his father to see what he thought. He could tell that the man was deep in thought.

'Dad?' He asked tentatively.

'Humm. That's a lot to take in.'

'I know. But we need to be ready. The Hierarchy, the Primarch and as much of our military as possible.'

His father asked a few questions, getting more detail where he felt it was necessary.

'It certainly is quite a story. But you're right Garrus, we need to be prepared. You've seen these things first hand, that's all the proof I need. The Primarch will probably take more convincing but I'll see what I can do.'

'Thanks Dad.' Garrus said, relief filling him.

**Present**

Having his father on his side had been a big help. He'd visited the Primarch just a few days later and after a couple of meetings, Garrus' new task force had been created. He'd been given a good group of Turians and they were doing as much as they could to prepare. And he'd managed to convey a little of what he was doing through the emails. He couldn't tell her outright but she was very good at understanding him.

Hi omni-tool began to bleep, pulling him back from his memories.

'Hey Garrus.' It was one of the members of his task force. 'I came and opened up the office this morning and there's some human is here to see you. Won't tell me her name, just said that they'll only speak to you.'

'Alright, tell them I'll be there as soon as I can.' He said, feeling curious.

Solana was looking at him when he terminated the call.

'What?' He asked defensively.

'Come on Garrus, are you going to tell me what's going on with this mystery "friend" of yours or what?'

He could hear the air quotes around the word friend.

'You're imaging things.'

'Yeah. Right. Garrus as soon as your Omni-Tool beeps you jump. You get so excited, like a varren on heat.

'Lovely metaphor. Really. Just so classy.'

'You're going to have to tell me about her sooner or later.'

Hurring to get out of the situation, his hand slipped and Garrus dropped the cup that he was holding. He swore.

'Ha. Busted.' Solana laughed.

'Alright. So I have a girlfriend. What's the big deal?'

'The big deal is that I think that this is someone special. But someone you won't tell us about. So let me guess, what could be bad enough that you wouldn't say anything. Hummm the wrong clan maybe. Ohh or clanless. Dad would flip at you liking a clanless girl.'

'Look just don't tell Mom and Dad. Please?' Garrus begged.

'Just don't tell me and you're father what Garrus?' His mother said from behind him, clearly coming to investigate the crash of his dropped mug.

'_Why is it,'_ Garrus thought desperately to himself as he swung round to look at his mother. '_That as soon as I come home I feel like I'm fifteen again and in trouble because I haven't done enough gun practice or my homework or something. I'm sure that just a few weeks ago I saved the suicide mission. Again. I was Archangel for fucks sake. How can I feel like such a child?'_

'Nothing?' He said quickly, throwing a pleading look at his sister.

'_And her as well. Spirits it's like she's thirteen again and trying to get me into as much trouble as possible. The fact that she's an incredible linguist and was one of the top translators in Palaven before she had to give up work to look after Mom.'_

That thought then made him feel incredibly guilty. After Shepard had died and he'd left C-Sec for the second time, he'd gone home for two horrendous months that had almost completely ended his and his father's relationship. But during those two months, he'd noticed that his mother had a slight tremor, that she was dropping things more frequently and that she was having problems with her vision. He hadn't thought much of it at the time and gave it very little thought when he'd left and found himself on Omega. It was the only thing that had raised him out of his insane need for vengeance against the whole world for taking Shepard away from him. He'd received a frantic message from his sister that their mother had collapsed and was being taken to the hospital and then a much more solemn message from his father telling him the diagnosis. He'd spoken to his mother afterwards and she'd told him that she was fine, that it was nothing to worry about. And he'd accepted what she said, even though he knew it was a lie. A chat with Solana a few months later confirmed this when she'd told him that she'd had to give up work to care for their mother as their father wasn't able to cope alone any more. And still he'd ignored his better judgement, ignored his duty and had continued on Omega. And then Shepard had come along and swept him along with her. He didn't feel as guilty about that one though. The mission had been incredibly important. But he still hadn't spoken to his family about how he felt.

Garrus sighed.

'Listen sol.' He began.

'Yeah.' She laughed, still thinking of their joke and not realising where his thoughts had taken him.

She was clearly waiting for him to try and get out of his predicament.

'I wanted to say sorry. For so many things.'

Solana's face changed and she lost her playfulness. A look of concern spread across her features. He heard his mother walk towards him as well. He helped her into a chair before explaining.

'When you first got sick Mom. I should have come back. Sol, I'm so sorry. You had to cope with so much. All of you. I should have been here. Should have been helping.'

'Garrus, now you've told us about what you were doing, it was so important.' His mother said, trying to soothe him.

'I know that. But when you first got sick. I was just so wrapped up in myself. I should have come back then.'

'It's okay Garrus.' His sister said. 'When you quit C-Sec and came back here, you weren't right. You weren't you any more. And I don't think that _that_ person would have been very helpful.'

'You'd lost you're way. You father was too stubborn to see it.' His Mom chuckled. 'But Solana and I did. Which is why we let you go. Why we didn't ask you to come back.'

'And I shouldn't have said what I did when we spoke just before your mission. I was just angry.'

Garrus laughed slightly.

'You know you're not really letting this be a very good apology.'

'That's because you don't have anything to apologise for.' His mother insisted.

'You're okay.' His sister gave his arm a quick squeeze.

'It's just good that your Commander came back and was able to help out.'

'You know, I mean I know she's a hero and everything, but just how many times has she had to save you? Got to feel a bit sore by now. I mean you do have a bit of a hero worship thing going on there right?'

His sister couldn't help but tease him a little. Or that she was cutting it a little too fine for his liking.

'Solana, don't tease your brother. He clearly cares deeply for his Commander and that loyalty is very inspiring.'

'Yeah but I think that there might be someone he cares for a little bit more.'

Garrus closed his eyes. He loved his sister dearly but he wished that they had a slightly less antagonistic relationship at times. She just loved winding him up.

'Solana what do you mean.'

The look of joy and hope in his mother's face was a little too much to bare.

'Mom. I have something to tell you.' Garrus said as his sister grinned. 'I have a girlfriend.'

'Oh Garrus that's wonderful. What's her name?' She took his hands in hers and looked at him in earnest. 'Is she the one? Have you found your bond mate?'

'Yes.' Garrus replied, just as earnestly.

Solana choked.

'What wait? Seriously.' Solana, suddenly becoming serious again. 'Seriously. Oh Garrus. I was only winding you up before. But that's wonderful news. I'm so happy for you.'

'Who is she Garrus?'

'Oh look if she is clanless, that's completely fine.' Solana said hurriedly. 'I was only joking before.'

Garrus was unsure what to say next. He didn't want to lie but he didn't want to tell the truth either. He looked into his mother's face so full of happiness while feeling the tremble of her hands in his and the words just tumbled out.

'It's Shepard Mom. I've fallen in love with Shepard.'

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

Shepard didn't like crying. Over the past few months she had probably cried more than she had in her entire life. Growing up on Alliance ships you quickly learnt that being tough was the best way to get through life moving from ship to ship, never really settling down. And being tough had worked for her. She hated how weak she felt right now.

Being a soldier always meant that her life was going to be difficult. It was something that all soldiers had to deal with. Her job revolved around killing people. There was no easy way to get around that one cold hard fact. It was something that, deep down, you could never really get over. It was true that most of the people she killed were bad people and that she was keeping people safe by doing what she did. But in those lonely hours in the middle of the night it was something that many soldiers struggled to deal with. It was something that broke many soldiers. She was struggling to not let it break her.

She'd been raised in this environment and for the most part she'd managed to square what she did. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't what many people thought of. It certainly wasn't heroic. But it was something that someone had to do. And up to this point she had been able to live with what she'd done. With the sacrifices that she'd had to make. But this was different. It felt different. Three hundred thousand. That number swirled around her head. Three hundred thousand. So many lives had been sacrificed. Sacrificed by her. But what else could she have done? She'd wracked her brains and could come up with nothing, nothing else that she could have done to save those Batarians. Even if she'd taken her crew with her, the outcome would have been the same, or she may even be adding their deaths to her list.

She hated crying. It seemed so ineffective. Punching things seemed a much better option but there wasn't a lot that she could hit being under house arrest. Her shrink kept telling her that crying was natural. That it was a process that she needed to go through. He was probably right. But that didn't make her like it any more. But she knew that she had to get better; get through this or over this or at least control it. The Reapers were coming, war was coming and her crying in a ball and hating herself wasn't going to do much good against them. Though at the moment what she was actually doing didn't seem much better. She was having difficulty convincing the council that the Reapers were coming, that they were real, that she wasn't, in fact, completely delusional. It was not going well. The meetings seemed to just go over and over the same facts and events again and again. If she wasn't crazy before this may send her completely over the edge.

She missed her crew. She missed her ship. She missed her friends. She missed Garrus. She wished he was there with her. He'd know how to make her feel better. At least a little bit. His weekly emails to her were one of the few things keeping her grounded. It was the only contact with her world that she was allowed. He never actually told her anything, although he was very good at telling her quite a lot of things without actually telling her anything. But she missed the sound of his voice, the way her would purr when she pressed her hands against his plates _just so_.

It seemed wrong that in the middle of her complete inner turmoil that she could be just so unbearably horny but she was. Although maybe it made sense. It wasn't like her previous longings. She didn't just want to satisfy her lusts. She wanted to be held by the person that she loved. To reach out and for just a moment to feel better. Probably not too surprising really. Although it still felt sort of wrong. And very frustrating as there was nothing she could do about it. With someone reading her emails she really didn't want to tell him what he should be doing to her right now. Well most of her didn't. Maybe at this point, after they had just chatted casually for so many months, maybe no one was actually reading them. Maybe they would just sail right through to him completely unread. Or maybe she'd break some poor private's mind with her perverted thoughts to her Turian boyfriend. And she guessed that Hackett and Anderson were probably getting the messages as well. She hoped that they were. She knew that there was no official communication between the two races about the Reapers so she hoped that they were gleaning the same information that she was.

It was so annoying that they couldn't just communicate openly. But while Hackett and Anderson were on her side. The others weren't so things had to be seen to be done properly. Sending a dirty message just wasn't worth the risk. But maybe she could tell him what she wanted him to do to her without actually saying it. It wasn't like either of them knew about their relationship. Not really.

She sat down at her desk and began to think.

* * *

><p><strong>Garrus POV<strong>

The silence that was ringing around the kitchen really was beginning to deafen him. He just wished one of them would say something. Anything. But they were just staring at him. He was going to have to start the conversation again, although his mouth had gone dry and his brain had gone completely blank.

'Um.' He began. 'So.'

Useless. Completely useless.

His omni-tool beeped again.

'Sorry to bother you again Garrus. But this woman's getting restless. But she won't talk by comm. And I can't even offer her a drink. 'Cos you know. Human. Bit of a loss as to what to do with her.'

'Just tell her I'll be there as soon as I can.' Garrus replied hurriedly.

'Is that… Is she here?' His mother asked slowly.

'No Mom. Shepard's is on Earth, under house arrest.'

'I didn't know if the Humans were giving out false information to the news, to keep the Batarian's happy.'

'No.'

'You should go. Have your meeting. We'll talk when you get back. It will give me time. To think.'

'Yeah. Sure.'

That had gone very wrong very quickly. He was about to get into a cab when he heard footsteps behind him. Solana was standing there, her arms folded, clearly very annoyed. But also a little abashed.

'I didn't mean to get you into trouble.' She said not looking at him. 'Sorry.'

Garrus just shrugged in her general direction.

'But spirits Garrus what are you doing? Are you insane? You can't bond with a human? That's crazy. And messed up. And wrong. Look I know that…' She paused, clearly uncomfortable, 'I know that some guys, in the military especially, think that sleeping with a human is some kind of status thing.'

'No!' Garrus protested. 'No it wasn't like that. It wasn't ever like that. It was just. Well it was a mission of almost certain death and it was stressful. That's how it started. It was never about a status things.'

'Garrus I do _not _want details. But I get it. Stressful mission, need a relief.' She shivered. 'Whatever. It's really weird but I know what happens on ships. But look maybe, having been away from, you know, Turian women. Maybe you've just fooled yourself. Or you think you feel more than you do. Go on a few dates now you're back and see.'

'Sol.' He began.

'Just think about it ok?'

'I have to go. I'll be back later. Look just promise me you won't say anything to dad.'

'Yeah. Don't want to have to face that one.'

'I'll be back.' Garrus muttered.

Garrus' head was all over the place as he walked into the cool air-conditioned offices of the embassy building that they had set up in. He walked through the corridors completely on auto pilot as he played in his mind the image of his mother's face over and over again as it turned from joy to confusion and then to horror. As she pulled her hands out of his. As She and Solana stared at him in complete disbelief.

'Garrus.' A voice called to him.

His mind turned from the image of his mother to confusion as his brain registered the voice of the human woman who'd come to see him. He hadn't been sure who it would be. He'd guessed at an Alliance official or Ashley maybe. There was an outside shot of Kasumi, which would explain not wanting to give a name. But not her.

'Miranda? What are you doing here?'

'Looking for you of course.' Garrus could tell that she was exhausted and looked like she was about to collapse.

'Come into my office.' He said quickly, ushering the woman into a chair.

'Thanks. I'm not staying long. I just needed to see you.'

'Miranda what's going on? You look dreadful.'

Miranda laughed coldly.

'I imagine I do. I've left Cerberus. And, well, let's just say that they don't like letting people go. Especially people who know as much about the organisation as I do.'

'I imagine not. When did you last sleep? Or eat?' He asked, concerned.

'I'm not sure.' She said, looking slightly puzzled. 'I'm just going place to place. But very few places seem safe.'

'Can no one help you? Not the Alliance?'

'No. Look at how they are treating Shepard. And she was never actually a member of Cerberus. I'd be arrested on site. Cerberus is a terrorist organisation remember. Or we've become one at any rate.'

'What do you mean?'

'Being with Shepard. With the crew she put together. And the questions she asked. It made me start to think about Ceberus. Really think. I always thought that I'd joined with my eyes open. And in the beginning I really believe I did. And over the years, well, I'd hear the occasional rumour but I thought it was just that. Rumours. But seeing Jack, seeing David Archer in project overlord. It made me open my eyes to what was really going on. I think maybe he kept some of Cerberus' other work away from me. And then the Illusive man wanting to keep that base. Shepard was right it needed to be destroyed. I actually think we could have used some information that we found there, but I didn't want to think what the Illusive man would do with it. That was the final straw for me. And since then. What I've heard. It's like he's gone crazy because of the Reaper threat. I know that Jacob is helping some scientists that have cut loose from him. And apparently they're getting technology from the Omega-4 relay. It's bad. That's why I wanted to see you. They wouldn't let me near Shepard and I don't have the resources to get a message to her anymore. I was going to ask Liara but I have no idea where she is. And I figured you would be able to get something to her. The Alliance need to know what's happening, they need to be ready. I think that when this thing comes down it might not be just the Reapers that they're fighting.'

'I've spoken to Liara. Apparently she's had one or two run ins with Cerberus while doing her research. She's gone off the grid now as much as possible to try and loose them.'

'Does Shepard know? Does the Alliance?'

'A little. I try and get as much as I can to her. And I'm hoping that some of her friends in the Alliance are getting the messages too.'

'Well if you can, tell her about Cerberus. I think that they will have new technologies we won't have seen before.'

'I will.'

'Good. I should go.'

'Wait Miranda.'

Garrus stood up. He knew that the two of them had never really got on very well. But she was part of the crew and that meant a lot.

'Come with me.'

'Where?'

'To my house. We can get some human food on the way. You'll be safe there. For at least a night. You can rest. Safely.'

'Thank you Garrus. That means… well. But I really can't. I wouldn't want to put your family in danger.'

'Yeah I've learnt a lot from Shepard and one of them is never taking no for an answer. You look exhausted. Come on.'

Miranda was clearly too tired to protest any longer. She let herself be led back to his car. He cancelled his meeting with the TEC. That could wait a few days.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be any trouble.'

'It's alright. Plus you may be able to get me out of some trouble.'

'Yeah? How so?'

'I may have told my mother and my sister that I love Shepard.'

'Are you sure I'm going to be safe at your house? Sounds like it might be a war zone.' Miranda laughed.

Solana was waiting for him when he arrived back at the house. She looked anxious.

'Who's that?' She started when she saw Miranda.

'One of my old crew. She needs a place to stay. A safe place for the night. I said we'd look after her.'

'Garrus. Mom told Dad. He's furious. If I were you I'd run. Now.'

The door was flung open at that moment and his father looked out at him, clearly in such a rage. He looked surprised at Miranda who was now leaning against Garrus for support.

'Here. I'll get you into the house. Let me take the food and your bag. You can lean on me, it's ok.'

Garrus held up his hands placating as Miranda walked past.

'She's just a friend, she needs our help.'

His father just nodded and waited for the two women to walk past him and up the stairs. Then he pointed at his son.

'You. Inside. Now.'

'Yes dad.'

He walked into the house and his father followed, shutting the door behind him carefully.

'Your friend?' He asked first.

'Her name's Miranda. She's on the run from some very dangerous people. I didn't think that they'd look for her here. She just wanted to give me a message but she was clearly exhausted, absolutely dead on her feet.'

'Fine.'

Solana slipped in the door.

'She's settled in the spare room. She's got some food and is having a shower and then said she will go to bed.'

'How much danger is she in potentially?' His father asked.

'Potentially quite a lot.'

'Well then. After this we can take watch. Make sure no one followed you. Or tries to get to her.'

'Thanks dad. I really appreciate it.'

'Sit down son.' His mother said.

He sat. He felt that it was best that he did what he was told at this point. And he didn't want a row His mother was looking more tired and pained than usual. Sometimes he wondered why he'd been born such a bad Turian. He was always doing the wrong thing, never bringing honour to his family, to his name, like he should. If he'd been born a proper Turian he'd never have fallen for a human. But then he'd probably have not left C-Sec and joined Shepard. And that was something he wasn't willing to give up.

'Tell me.' His father said.

'There isn't much to tell.' Garrus said, playing with his fingers. 'I love Shepard. That's all there is.'

'But she's human.' His father replied.

'I know.'

'You don't bond with humans.'

'I know dad. I didn't mean for this to happen. I really didn't.'

'You didn't consider the _shame_ that you're bring on your family by following this path.'

'No. I didn't. In all honesty. I didn't think I was coming back from the mission. So I didn't think it mattered. At least not when it started. But before I realised what was happening it had already happened.'

'Are you sure?' Hi mother asked. 'I mean like you said. You didn't think you were coming back. You weren't thinking properly.'

'And now I am.' He said. 'And it's been five months and seventeen days since I last saw her and I miss her every second.'

He didn't think he was able to convey his emotions properly, that no words could really express what he felt for him.

'Mom, you said earlier that when I came home after Shepard had died that I had lost my way. And I had. But I didn't know why I lost my way so much. It didn't make sense. But it does now. I hadn't just lost my way. I hadn't even just lost myself. I'd lost _her_. And I couldn't handle that.'

'Stop it, just stop it. This is insanity.' His father cut across him, his voice increasing in volume. 'If you think that I'm going to let my son, _my son_, talk like this…'

'Dad.' Garrus interrupted him. 'Do you remember when I called you. When I called to apologise. To talk to you because I was in trouble. Too much trouble.'

His father went silent.

'What call?' Hi mother asked, looking confused.

'I… I didn't tell you about it. It was.' His father paused. 'A difficult call. Garrus was calling, it seemed, to say goodbye. But then something changed the odds he was against.'

His mother gasped.

'And you know who changed those odds.'

His father nodded slowly.

'When I called you, I'd gotten myself into a really bad position. Really bad. And it was because wanted to take all my anger out on the world. Because it had taken her out of it. I'd heard over the radio that she was back. I didn't believe it. And I didn't think that, even if she was back, that there would be time for her to save me. Again. So I called because I really thought that it was the end. My end. And then I saw her through my scope and I began to hope again.'

'I don't want to feel like that again. That I was losing you. Whatever you'd done, however disappointed or angry I was at you, you're still my son.'

'She's something that I just can't compromise on. I can't. I'm sorry.'

The conversation continued on for hours after this but a lot of the anger had disappeared out of it. When he finally left the room he was completely exhausted. He'd checked on Miranda but she was out like a light. He picked up his rifle, ready to take the first watch.

'You look almost as exhausted as she was.' His sister said, coming out of her room carrying her pistol. 'You sleep. I'll take the first watch. Then dad will. He'll wake you when it's your turn.'

'Sol, I can't have you putting yourself in danger.'

'Oh shut up Garrus. I'm till technical in the military. I know how to use this. Probably better then you know how to use that.'

He was too tired to argue. He gave his sister a quick hug of gratitude and fell into bed. He was almost asleep when his omni-tool told him that he'd received a message.'

_So my shrink thinks that I avoid memories by blocking them out and punching people instead of confronting my emotions as a good normal person would. and that I avoid telling people how I really feel, especially about difficult times that we've had in the past. He told me I should practice. So I was thinking about the collector base. I was so scared before we went. I really needed you that night and you really came through for me. I didn't really realises how much you were there for me, thinking about it now really touches me. But we've had some tougher times too. We've fought quite a bit. Like the night of the ball. But those times showed me just how well you know me, it was like I was standing naked in front of you, no secrets just me. Sometimes I worry that maybe I should have held my tongue a little more. I know that my mouth just runs away with me sometimes and that I came down on you quite hard occasionally. I just think that we're so evenly matched and that we both have such stubborn tempers that sometimes we are just going to clash and that at times I'll come out on top and that other times you will. It has been quite an explosive friendship. But hopefully a satisfying one._

_So yeah, just some thoughts I've been having about some of our times together._

_Take care._

Garrus groaned as he read the message. He was never going to be able to sleep now.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

Shepard smiled as she pressed send. It was a little less clever than she'd hope it would be but she hope that she put her message across to him fairly well. There was so much more that she'd wanted to put in. But there just weren't enough metaphors to get across. She hoped that would do. She laid down on her bed and smiled, hoping that no one else would work out what she meant.


	17. Chapter 17

**Garrus POV**

'Urgh?'

Garrus heard a chuckle somewhere in the gloom.

'It's time to get up.' His father said again. 'Haven't had to do this since you were what? 15? Come on, it's nearly dawn.'

Garrus groaned, prompting another chuckle from his father. Garrus' head thumped as he pulled himself upright. How much sleep had he had last night? A few hours at most. Damn Shepard for sending him that message. He had no idea how she'd managed to convey quite so much in such a short message but he'd lost his way several times reading it and re-reading it, particularly when it came to words like _mouth _and _tongue. _Obviously he'd been working out some of the frustrations on his own but it just wasn't the same as having her there, wasn't as satisfying. To be fair neither had this, but just having _her_ words there with him had sent him tumbling over the edge. Spirits he missed her.

Slowly he bundled himself out of bed, got dressed and headed up to the roof. The sun's rays were just starting to appear over the distant hills and the world looked so peaceful. This city in the distance was already up and running but out here things were a little slower to get going.

'All quiet?' He asked his father who was sitting on the tiles looking around.

'Yes.'

'Good.' Garrus breathed a sigh of relief. He really didn't want his family to get caught up with all the Cerberus crap.

'Never thought we'd get mixed up with a pro-human terrorist group.'

'Tell me about it. But then I did work with them for a while.'

'Garrus, son. I have to say, you should really think of taking a different path in life at some point.'

Garrus laughed quietly.

'I don't think I'd do too well at that.'

'No you always were a little unconventional.' His father smiled. 'Actually I wanted to have a moment with you, when we were alone. I just wanted to say… well. I realised that I never had actually apologised to you for always being so hard on your decisions, particularly when it came to leaving c-sec with a certain Spectre. She was right and I was wrong. You were right to follow her.'

'Thanks Dad.'

His father sighed heavily.

'Garrus. I'm not saying that I approve of her as your choice of… of mate.' That word was clearly hard for him. 'But I was thinking back to before you left c-sec, before you retired. You were too willing to bend the rules, too eager to punish those who needed it by any means necessary, no matter the cost. Even though I don't like that you love Shepard, I'm not sure I ever will but despite that, I've never been more proud of the man you've become. I've had some time to think, sitting up here in the quiet. The things that are coming, they are too much to leave these things unsaid. I know that things have never been particularly easy between us. You always felt that I pushed too hard and I admit that sometimes I felt you didn't give enough but these Reapers will be so much more than we've ever faced, so much more than we can even imagine. I don't want you leaving here thinking that your family isn't so proud of you and that we are behind you completely. '

Garrus sat there, mouth open, completely speechless. His father gave a soft laugh at his son's stunned expression.

'Dad I…'

'It's alright. Nothing more needs to be said. Now I'd better go in and check on your mother. Her transport back to the facility will be coming tomorrow. I can't believe how well the first treatment went. Even a small improvement with her condition is just incredible.'

'I know. How long will she be staying there this time.'

'Longer they think. As she responded well to the initial treatment this one will probably be at least four months.'

'Ok. Let me know when Miranda gets up.'

His father left and Garrus was left to the begging of the day, lost in thought about what his father had said to him. Considering he'd told his parents that he'd bonded to a human the morning before he was surprised at how well it had gone in the end. His father was proud of him. His father had never told him that he was proud of him. Ever. And the fact that it had happened after his announcement was a minor miracle. But his father was right, with the Reapers coming now was not the time to hide feelings from others. He was still feeling a bit dazed when Miranda came up onto the roof to join him.

'You look better.' He told her.

'Much. I honestly can't remember the last time I had a good night sleep. I've been having to relocate almost every hour. It was so nice to just collapse for a night. Although you look pretty bad now. Have you been out here all night?' She asked.

'What? Oh no. My sister took the first shift, then my father. I've only been out here a few hours.'

'Well I imagine it's been a bit of a stressful day for you.'

'Defiantly not a typical one no. But they took the news surprisingly well.'

'Glad to hear it. You could do worse than having Shepard as a daughter in law.'

'You can stay here as long as you like.' He told her.

'Thanks but I think I'll get going. I'm so grateful to your family but I don't want to put them to any more trouble. And I need to get back to things. You weren't the only person on my to do list.'

'It was good to see you Miranda. Just try and take care of yourself.'

'I always do. And Garrus, get that message to Shepard. The Alliance needs to know. And tell you're government too. And Liara if you speak to her. In fact just tell anyone you can with governmental pull. I don't think that the reapers will be the only threat we face.'

'I will.'

Once they'd seen both Miranda and his mother safely off, Garrus sat down in front of his computer.

_I'm glad you were able to get those thoughts off your chest. I hope it helped. I spent quite a while thinking about what you said. Miranda came and visited me today. She's decided to quit her job, didn't like the direction her company were taking and after listening to her I have to say that I agree. Apparently they aren't too happy about it. She was also a bit worried about some of the new tech they were using. Apparently they were getting it illegally from Omega, 4 different places I think she said. Not through Aria. And she was worried about the trouble that it would cause. She wanted to warn me that this new advanced and unregulated tech may hurt my work Alliances as her old company may directly be competing against mine now. It was nice of her to give me a heads up. Hope things are going well._

Gx

He hoped that would work. It was more long winded than his usual messages but he hoped that would trigger anyone else reading it. It was annoying that he couldn't just tell her but it would be bad enough if anyone found out he was writing to her when she was in as much trouble as she was, left alone writing to her about Ceberus and the Reapers. It certainly wouldn't help her case.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard POV<strong>

'How many times will I have to talk to that committee?' Shepard asked frustrated as she walked back to her room with James.

'No idea. Maybe this is part of your punishment?' He suggested.

'Probably.' Shepard sighed.

Still, she thought to herself as they walked through the corridor, she'd heard her omni-tool beep when she was in the meeting and that meant that she had a message. Usually Garrus didn't respond to her straight away, leaving a bit more time between her messages and his to spread them out a bit but she'd hoped for an early reply with the one she sent last night. She smiled to herself.

'Here we go.' James said saluting to her.

When she was alone she opened the message and stared at it. It hadn't been what she'd expected. She looked again. Surly he meant that Miranda had left Ceberus and that she'd told him that they were now getting new tech from the Omega-4 relay. That was bad. Miranda was clearly trying to warn the Alliance. She hoped whoever was reading it would understand. She hadn't seen Anderson for a few months now as he didn't want people to think he was influencing things with the council because of their close relationship but she may be able to get something through to Hackett. She would try any way.

'Thanks Miranda.' She muttered to herself as she hoped that the women would be ok. Being on Cerberus' shit list wouldn't be good. She remembered what had happened to Admiral Kahoku. But he'd been pretty careless in his investigations and Miranda wouldn't be. Plus she had a lot of inside information. Shepard hoped it would be enough to keep her alive.

* * *

><p><strong>Garrus POV<strong>

Garrus then sent a message to Liara saying that he needed to speak to her. He knew that she could set up a channel far securer than he ever could. He then opened a link to Tali.

'Garrus, how are you?' She said when he finally got through to her.

'Good. How are you finding being an Admiral? Any easier?'

'No.' She said flatly. 'At the moment I'm trying to persuade them not to launch another suicidal attack against the Geth. It's not going well.'

'Again? Seriously.'

'Don't even go there.'

'Are you allowed to tell me that?'

'Probably not but I'm just getting so fed up with this lot. So I don't care. Why, you going to betray our secrets.'

'You never know. Listen this line is secure right.'

'Yes, why?'

'Miranda came to see me. Cerberus are getting new technology from beyond Omega-4 and are apparently getting even crazier.'

'They're using Reaper tech? That's insane! We've all seen how that leads to indoctrination.'

'Yeah and Miranda thinks that they won't be on our side anymore.'

'Keelah.'

'So just warn your people ok? I'm going to tell the Primarch.'

'Damn Cerberus.'

'Yeah.'

'I have to go Garrus, I'm in the middle of an Admiralty meeting.'

'Alright Tali. Take care.'

He began to organise his things when he heard that he had a new message. It was Alliance encoded.

_Message received and understood. Will watch for increased Ceberus threat._

_Hackett._

The man was good. He just prayed that he hadn't also understood the previous message. Although he probably had. Damn.

'Everything ok?' Solana asked.

'Oh yes. I've just got a message from Hackett. He understood the message I sent to Shepard.'

'Good.'

'Hey thanks for helping out with Miranda.' He said and pulled his sister into a hug.

'You've gotten weirdly touchy since being with Shepard, did you know that?' Solana said. 'You hug people. It's really strange.'

Garrus burst out laughing.

'I'd never noticed.'

'I'd wondered why. At least now I know.'

* * *

><p><strong>3 weeks later<strong>

Garrus looked at his notes again. Then he looked up at his task force.

'We've done well this week. I'm glad we were able to make sure that supplies to the hospitals in a lot of the have been improved. I was getting worried about that. Next week…'

He was cut off mid-sentence by someone bursting into their office. He didn't recognise the Turian who was now leaning against the desk.

'I think you might be lost.' He looked round, but none of his men seemed to know why she was there.

'No sir!' Panted the girl, straightening up and saluting. 'I have an urgent message for you.' She gasped.

'Yes?'

'The Reapers sir. They've hit.'

The whole room stood up and reacted instantly.

'You two go and check in with the hospitals. Make sure that our early warning strategies are deployed. Someone get me the Primarch and my father. Tell me, where have they hit. Tell me everything.'

'All I know that it's Earth Sir.' The girl said.

Garrus sank down into his chair.

'Primarch. Now!' He demanded.

Ten minutes later he was sat in an emergency meeting with the Primarch, Admirals and anyone else they could link in with.

'What's the situation from Earth?' He demanded.

'Patchy.' Primarch Fedorian told him. 'We're mostly having to rely on their news. We know that their parliament has been destroyed and that they decimated some of the Alliance fleets on their way to Earth. I've been trying to reach someone in Alliance high command to get a better picture but nothings getting through. But their news is suggesting that several cities have been hit and we can guess that a lot more haven't been able to communicate so expect to hear that they are there in force.'

'Do we have any technical data?' One of the Admirals asked.

'Minimal. Only what we'd already received from Garrus. I assume everyone is now up to date with his briefings if you weren't before.'

Everyone nodded although Garrus noticed a few people looking awkward.

'It's fine.' He told everyone quickly. 'I know that a lot of you had trouble believing that this threat was really. And I know that I'd have had trouble with it myself if I hadn't experienced everything first hand. But the Alliance were more ready than we are now and their forces have still been hit hard so we need to get ready fast.'

The meeting was long but at least everyone was on board with him now. Fedorian was planning to organise a war summit among the Turian Hierarchy and any other species that he could get to join. He briefed his task force when he was finished and gave them all things to do to make sure that the measures they'd put in place were being used and were working and then headed home. He was greeted by both his sister and his father.

'Are you alright?' Solana asked.

'Have you heard anything?' His father said.

'Nothing new.'

'Shepard?' Solana said tentatively.

'No. I can't get hold of her.'

'It's very early.' His father said.

'Yeah and at least they can't say she's lying now.' Solana pointed out. 'Come on. I'll get some food ready and we'll try and get to sleep. I imagine tomorrow will be hectic.'

'Have we heard from Mom?' Garrus asked.

'Yeah she's fine. The facility is deploying extra security.'

'Good.'

Garrus went to bed but found it difficult to get to sleep. There was still no word from Shepard and he'd only been able to check in with a few of his off world friends. He finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep but was woken a few hours later by the sound of alarms ringing everyone. His was disorientated for a second before realising that it was his own early warning alarms that he'd insisted that the Hierarchy had set up across the entire planet.

'Dad!' He yelled. 'Sol!'

He flung on his armour as quickly as possible and grabbed his guns. He loaded his sniper rifle.

'Are they here?' Solana asked him. She looked very scared but was geared up too.

'Yes.' Garrus said solemnly.

'It will be all right Sol. We're prepared.' His father said. 'Garrus, someone's trying to contact you.'

Garrus looked down at his flashing omni-tool, he'd been so focused on the Reapers he hadn't even noticed.

'General Victus.' Garrus said as he answered, recognising the Turian on the screen.

'No time for pleasantries I'm afraid Vakarian. I need you to report to docking bay 15 asap. You'll be deploying with my team to Menae. Understood?'

'Yes sir.' Garrus said, saluting. He knew the honour that was being afforded to him by this commission.

'Is your father there boy?'

'I'm here.' His father said, moving to stand behind Garrus.

'The Primarch's asked if you can get to HQ. He's leaving with us to Meane to set up a counter attack as soon as possible. He wants you to help organise things in his absence. His team will meet you there.'

'Yes sir.'

'They hit our communication lines first Garrus. We have internal communications but we are having trouble getting any messages beyond our system. Although we were able to get an initial SOS out to the Citadel.'

'Thank you Sir.' Garrus said and cut the connection. 'Dad, that's got to be a priority.'

'I know Garrus. Don't worry about what I'll do here. Get yourself ready.'

'Right yes.'

He left, hearing his sister say that she'd go with her father to help him out. Garrus already had an emergency bag packed and ready so it only took him a few minutes to join them again.

'Please be careful Garrus. And keep in touch if you can.' Solana said, tears falling from her eyes.

'I will.'

'Take care son.' His father gripped both his arms with his hands. 'We love you very much. I know you'll do everything you can. And when you see that Spectre of yours, make sure you do whatever she tells you.'

Garrus smiled.

'Like I'd ever do anything else. Stay safe. Look after each other.'

He gave them both a quick hug, making Solana laugh despite the tears, took a last look around his home and headed out.

* * *

><p><strong>Menae, 1 week later<strong>

They'd dug in deep but the Reapers were overwhelming their positions at every turn and the situation was getting desperate. They'd been completely unable to get any sort steady of communication up and any messages that were successful had to be strictly military related so he still had no idea if Shepard was alive or if she'd died in the first Reaper wave. Fedorian had been killed that morning and whole units were being slaughtered in such a short space of time and he knew that the situation was deteriorating fast. something needed to change. And soon.

'You alright there Sir?' One of his team asked him.

'Yes, just thinking about friends.'

A number of the soldiers nodded. Friends and family were high in everyone's minds.

'Well I have no idea where Victus is. He isn't answering his comm and they clearly moved position some time ago.' Lorena informed him.

Victus had ordered Garrus and his team to take down a heavy Reaper unit but with all the comm link problems they'd lost touch with the main group.

'Alright.' Garrus said, we're very close to the main camp. Let's head back there.

'Vakarian Sir, do you copy?'

Garrus still couldn't get used to the fact that anyone was calling him sir, let alone Generals. But they seemed to see him as a figure of authority in this situation even though he was almost as clueless as the rest of them.

'Yes General Corinthus.'

'Someone has arrived to pick up Fedorian for the war summit. We're trying to reach high command to see who the next Primarch is. I believe that she's an old friend of yours.'

'Sir?' He asked.

'Never thought I'd get to meet the famous Commander Shepard in person.'

Garrus could feel himself shaking and left out a deep breath that he'd been carrying for a week.

'We'll be right there sir.'

He had his mean moving in under five minutes and they were quickly back at the main barricade.

'See what needs doing.' He told them before moving to General Corinthus' station.

He was deep in communication with three people. There was a human he didn't recognise, Liara and Shepard. She was demanding that they get the resources that they needed. Hearing her voice made him pause for a moment to collect himself.

'I'm on it Shepard, we'll find you the Primarch.'

She looked him up and down, clearly shocked.

'Vakarian Sir, I didn't see you there.'

Garrus felt slightly uncomfortable at that.

'At ease General.'

'Garrus. Your alive.'

'I'm hard to kill.' He smirked. 'You should know that.'

She reached out and took his hand in hers and he covered it with his other hand. It was a small gesture, much smaller than he wanted, but without causing a cross species incident in the middle of a battle field it would have to do.

He wasn't really sure about Victus being the Primarch. The man was good, there was no doubting his military skill. But a diplomat? Garrus wasn't sure. But he reconsidered this as he watched Shepard tearing through the battle field. She was up there as one of the greatest soldiers humanity had ever created and could probably match most other species' greatest lists too but she was also a pretty good diplomat and, even more surprisingly, a peace maker.

'Hey Turian, stop daydreaming.' The human called James yelled at him.

It was lucky that he did or he'd have been knocked off his feet by a brute. Instead he was able to side step quickly out the way, leaving a few proximity mines in his wake.

'Ha ha! Nicely done scars.'

'Scars?' He asked as the last of the monsters fell.

'Well yeah? Have you looked in a mirror lately?'

'You know no one will let me near one.'

James laughed.

'Although I have to say, isn't it a bit weird for you to be checking out Lola mid fight? You know what with you being a Turian and all. And her, you know… not?'

'Lola?' He asked, slightly appalled.

Although James had a point, it wasn't good for him to get distracted like that. Although he hadn't seen Shepard in over six months. And he always thought she looked sexiest mid fight. Well except when she was naked.

James coughed.

'I think she looks like a Lola.' He shrugged.

'Ready boys?' Shepard called, indicating them to follow her.

'I just… well I know you've know her for a long time. But she may not appreciate it is all.' James said, clearly a bit awkward.

'What won't I appreciate?' Shepard asked, overhearing the last part of their conversation and assuming they meant her.

'Oh uh nothing.' James said quickly.

'Me checking you out on the battle field.' He said, quietly enough so that only the two of them would hear him.

Shepard laughed loudly and winked at him.

'Ok I'm clearly missing something here.' James said, looking quickly between the two of them. Clearly something in their expressions trigged something. 'Oh. Oh right. Really Lola? Never pictured you being so kinky.'

Shepard just shook her head.

'You know, you never did tell me what that word meant.' Garrus pointed out to her.

Victus clearly couldn't believe that he was the next Primarch but Shepard skilfully manoeuvred him around to her way of thinking. While he was taking a moment to say goodbye to his men Garrus went over to talk to Shepard, confirming his place back on the Normandy. They boarded the shuttle and Shepard went to check in with Admiral Hackett, leaving the two Turians in the new war room.

'What have they done to the place?' Garrus asked, looking around at the refurbishments.

'You've served on the Normandy twice now haven't you?' Victus asked.

'Yes. It's nice to be back. Although they've messed around with her again. If it's ok with you sir, I'm going to check on the gun, I'm sure they will have _done things _with it. And I had it just as I liked it.'

'You don't want to wait for the Commander?'

'No, I'm sure she will come and find me when she's ready.' Garrus said, trying to put as little inflection in that statement as possible.

It had been difficult over the last few weeks in keeping up his best uninterested voice as possible when talking about Shepard. Their exploits had made him something of a talking point with the other Turians and Shepard had been an area of particular interest for them. Trying to ensure that none of his feelings for her became obvious had been quite a challenge.

'Well as I am no longer your Commanding Officer you don't need to ask my permission now Garrus.'

He nodded and after a quick chat with Joker and EDI he went back down to his spot on the Normandy. He looked round and let out a long breath. Despite all that had happened to bring him back here, it was good to be home.

'Now let's see what they've done to you girl.'

'It didn't take you long to get back to work.'

Shepard had walked, her arms folded but a small smile playing on her lips, taking in the sight that greeted her.

'You can't trust humans with a gun like this Shepard.' He said, moving back up to the console to meet her.

'I'm sure she's been missing your delicate touch.' Shepard smiled.

'I hope she's not the only one.'

Shepard put her hand to his face and paused for just a moment before pulling him towards her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, before pressing his arms to her back drawing her closer to his body.

'Garrus.' She whispered.

Her hands moved slowly over his armour, her head nestled into his neck. He was less gentle. His hands pressed against her, moving along the material of her clothing hungrily. He tugged and lifted her top off, spreading his hands across her chest. She began unclipping his armour, throwing the pieces onto the floor, before flicking at her omni-tool to lock the doors behind them. He removed the rest of her clothing and stood back for a moment just to look at her. She smiled, slightly self-consciously.

'Sprits you're so beautiful Lizzie.' He could hear the rumbling in his chest, the longing in his voice. He was overwhelmed by sheer need for her.

He pulled off the rest of his armour and held her close to him. He could feel her heart racing in her chest. He lifted her up onto the console and she shivered slightly at the temperature. He kissed her, shuddering at touch of her tongue against his, his hands moving through her hair, across her satiny skin, so soft to his touch. She let out a small moan and pulled his body closer to him, wrapping her legs around his, forcing him forward. She leant back slightly and he took the opportunity to lean forward and lick her nipple with his tongue, enjoying the sharp intake of breath that this caused. He pulled back slightly, closed his eyes and slowly slipped himself inside her. He let out a long breath, satisfaction at six months pent up frustration finally finding a proper release, and heard a mirroring sigh from her. He shifted slightly, pulling her closer to him and held her there for a moment. He opened his eyes and looked deep into hers. She smiled at him.

'I love you.' She told him quietly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

'I love you too.' He told her earnestly.

He placed his hands behind her to steady himself and began moving into her, slowly at first but picking up pace, loosing himself completely inside her.

'Oh God Garrus. You feel…' Shepard moaned as she held onto him, leaning forward to pepper his face with kisses.

He growled in response and thrust himself harder into her. She let out a cry of pleasure and leaned her head back. Unable to resist he leant forward and began nipping at her throat, knowing how much she enjoyed it. His head began to swim and he leant his forehead against her neck, breathing hard. He rand one hand down her side before gripping at her waist. He heard Shepard's breathing change, become more ragged before she gasped and he felt the tightening around him as she reached her climax. Barley able to hold on, he thrust into her a few more times as hard as he could, making her gasp, before heat flooded through him and he felt his own release.

Panting heavily, the stayed wrapped in each other's arms for several minutes, neither wanting to part. Finally Shepard moved away from him slightly, clearly getting uncomfortable.

'Well.' He said after they had both taken a moment. 'I missed that.'

'So still going with the human fetish?' Shepard grinned, pulling her clothes back on.

'Still more of a Shepard fetish than a human one. But yeah. You've defiantly converted me completely. Much to my families disappointment.'

'What?' Shepard stopped, top still halfway over her head.

'I may have told them about us.'

'God Garrus, and people tell me I have a death wish.'

'It sort of slipped out. But they got used to the idea.'

'Really?' Shepard said thoughtfully.

'Yeah. They took it surprisingly well.'

'I'm going to have to tell my parents at some point too. Not looking forward to it. But if you've come back alive maybe I will too.'

Garrus laughed and pulled her into his embrace.

'How are you doing? With everything. We never got a chance to talk.'

Shepard sighed.

'Better. The psychiatrist actually helped. I mean I don't think it's something I will ever really get over. I don't think it's something I really _should _ get over. But I'm actually dealing with it now. And now I have something to focus on.'

'After all this time, is it strange that they've still caught me by surprise? I mean I still don't feel prepared for this.'

'I don't think that this is something anyone can be truly prepared for. I'd better go and talk to people, prepare for the ambassadors. You go and put your stuff up in my room.'

Garrus grinned.

'At least the Krogan delegate is Wrex.'

'I know. I'm not holding out much hope but that is giving me some at least.'

'But uh, we should be careful about us around Victus. He is the new Primarch after all.'

'We will, don't worry. Thankfully I have my own private shower.' She smiled. 'Which I suppose you can share. Under supervision.'

She kissed him briefly and left the room.

'I am glad to see that you and the Commander continue to get on will Garrus.' EDI told him when he went up to the bridge.

'Yeah don't need details here EDI.' Joker reminded her. 'Turian and human is just nasty, remember.'

'So you mean you've never thought about crossing the species barrier.' Garrus said, indicating his head towards EDI, and was satisfied by the very embarrassed coughing fit he caused.

He laughed and left the two of them to go and store his things in Shepard's room.


End file.
